


CONVERGENCE - chanbaek / baekyeol - baekhyun x chaneyol

by abnegative



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Boyfriends, Gay, M/M, Smut, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-29 11:32:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 50,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13926282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnegative/pseuds/abnegative
Summary: [complete] Baekhyun is 18 and in need of cash. He applies with a nanny agency and meets Chanyeol, a 33 year old single father. Chanyeol is stuck on the past. Can Baekhyun help him to find happiness again?14/12/2017 - 04/02/2017SMUT ALERTThis is my own original work I reserve all rights to the content. Do not copy.





	1. Chapter 1

 

**_Warnings:_ **

**_Alcohol/ trauma_** **_Smut_** **_Age gap_**

**_Ship: Baekhyun x Chanyeol_**  


He'd lost another one. He really couldn't help it. His meeting had run late, by two hours, and when he arrived home at 11pm the twins were already asleep. "You're late!" The nanny was furious. She gathered her things. "I quit. They ran wild all night, they wouldn't eat their dinner, I had to wrestle them both into the bath, and I was supposed to finish two hours ago!" He tried to plead with her but she wouldn't have it. "This job is too much! Goodbye Mr Park." And she was gone.

Chanyeol sank onto the couch. What was he going to do now? He couldn't call his sister, she was busy with her own job, he would have to take them to the office tomorrow after school. Maybe his secretary would pick them up for him? Stress made his head pound and he got up and went to the kitchen. He opened a bottle of wine and downed a glass on an empty stomach. He knew he would feel like shit in the morning but he felt like shit anyway so it was whatever.

He poured another glass and mulled over his memories. Dark hair and dark eyes filled his mind. A sad emptiness that he thought would never go away. He still missed her. It was so fresh and raw it could have been yesterday. The day the twins were born was the day his heart broke. The caesarean surgery was an emergency and she just lost too much blood. Chanyeol had stood alone in the world with his twin boys, just hours old, and wondered how he would go on.

And every year, when they turned one year older, he was reminded of what was both the happiest and saddest day of his life. The day they came into the world was the day she left. Two candles ignited inside him, burning bright with all his love, and one snuffed out forever.

Somehow he did go on. His sister helped him for two years. But she needed her own life back. His company suffered without his attention and was brought to the edge of bankruptcy. When the twins started school he knew he had to go back to work full time. He had been through 11 nannies in 7 months.

He downed his second glass of wine, fought hard against his memories, and slipped into their room. They looked like sleeping angels in the dim light of night. They weren't identical. Taeyong, older by 4 minutes, was skinny as a little bird but as wild and fierce as a tiger cub, with big eyes that stared right into your soul. He was a mischief maker and couldn't sit still for even a minute. He was beautiful. Jaehyun, chubby cheeked and soft featured, was smart and funny and charismatic and easily led. He would do anything his brother wanted. He was messy and silly and perfect. Tears rolled down Chanyeol's cheeks as he looked from one to the other. He loved them so much. He knew they misbehaved for nannies because they didn't want one. They wanted a mother but he couldn't bring theirs back. He couldn't give his sons the one thing they needed the most.

He had dated a few women but even though he was tall and handsome and had a little money and his own company what woman wanted to take on a 33 year old single father of twin boys? He just didn't have the time to give a relationship anyway. Maybe when the boys were older, when his company was in better shape, when he felt whole again. Would he ever though?

As he turned to walk out, his foot hit one of those damn toys that make noise, and the plastic fire truck lit up. Its tinny siren noise blared and Taeyong stirred in his sleep. Chanyeol panicked, grabbed the toy, and threw it out the room. _Please don't wake up. Please please please._ He missed them today but he was exhausted and needed his bed. He held his breath as Taeyong rolled over, mumbled something in his sleep, and stopped moving. Chanyeol breathed a sigh of relief and slipped out of the room.

The sink was full of dishes, the half eaten remnants of their dinner strewn all over the kitchen, school clothes needed to be ironed and lunches needed to be packed. He switched on the iron and ran it half heartedly over the tiny matching school shirts. He inspected the shorts, decided no one would notice, and skipped them. He hung the shirts and shorts up, found two pairs of underpants and school socks, and got out the school bags. Taeyong's had been unpacked already by the neat and tidy five year old who liked order and routine. Jaehyun's lunchbox was still in his bag and Chanyeol pulled it out to discover the whole bag full of leaked yoghurt. He threw it to the floor in an uncharacteristic manifestation of rage.

He sucked back tears of pure exhaustion and cleaned out the bag. He washed the lunchboxes, repacked them, put them in the fridge. He found a cold slice of pizza from two days ago and stuffed it in his mouth as he headed to his room. He had ran out of time to iron his own shirt for tomorrow. He would have to do it in the morning.

The dishes remained in the sink, the toys remained on the floor, washing was piled in the laundry. Chanyeol didn't have the energy for any of it. Hopefully soon his company would recover and when he had more cashflow he might be able to afford a housekeeper. At this point in time it was a housekeeper or a nanny as he couldn't afford both. He closed his eyes and fell spiralling into darkness, exhaustion consuming his body, his mind desperately needing rest. But every night, when the house was silent and dark, his closed eyes filled with visions. Of dark hair and dark eyes. Hospitals, doctors, funerals and heartbreak. Loneliness. An unshakeable empty sadness.

Chanyeol felt the tiny body climbing over him as soon as the sun came up. His eyes fluttered open to reveal a little face grinning sweetly at him from inches away. "Hi Daddy." Jaehyun smiled. "Hi Jae. Did you sleep well?" Chanyeol's voice was thick with drowsiness. "Yup. Taeyong's already up too! He's making breakfast." Chanyeol groaned and sat up. Taeyong was probably just making a mess. "Come on Jae." He said as he wandered down to the kitchen with the little boy right beside him.

Taeyong had two bowls on the table. Both were filled to the brim with cereal and Chanyeol walked in just in time to see Taeyong adding the milk. It filled the bowls and overflowed onto the table which was still scattered with the remnants of last nights uneaten dinner. "Good morning Daddy!" His little face was lit up brighter than the sun. "I'm helping!" He grinned at his dad who didn't have the heart to be mad. "Thanks Tae. You're a good boy." He smiled and ruffled the little boy's hair and carried the overflowing cereal bowls to the coffee table in front of the tv.

Chanyeol looked around, overwhelmed by the chaos of his life, knowing it would be this way until at least Saturday. It was Thursday. Two days until he had some time to sort his life out. His weekend would be consumed with bringing order to the house. It would stay that way until Monday when the cycle of constant chaos began again.

He dressed the boys and himself, packed their school bags, and they walked out the door. For once they weren't even late. Chanyeol took the small achievements whenever he could. He dropped them off at their classroom, kissed their little cheeks, and told them it might be Uncle Kai picking them up today. They smiled and waved and walked to their desks without looking back.

Chanyeol walked into his office. The advertising company he owned and ran was just bouncing back, brought to the brink by Chanyeol's tragedy, and this was the one place he felt in control of his life. He leaned over Kai's desk and smiled at him. Kai knew he was gunning for a favour. "What?" He asked with a grin. "I need the twins picked up from school at 3:10 and brought here." Chanyeol smiled sweetly. "You lost another one didn't you!" Kai laughed and Chanyeol just nodded.

 

The boy walked from one lecture to another. He was in his first year at the University and finding his new life difficult. The study load was heavy, he wanted to graduate as an early childhood teacher in three years, and trying to make ends meet was exhausting. Above all he was lonely. He was used to being surrounded by the noisy chaos of a big house full of people that he loved. His life in the city was too quiet.

His tired eyes blinked in the bright morning sun. He'd worked in the restaurant until 1am, tried to stay up to do an essay due tomorrow, and fallen asleep with his head on his desk. He heard a voice call out to him and turned around to see his dorm roommate running to catch up to him. "Hey Baekhyun." The taller boy smiled down at him. "Hey Sehun." He smiled up at the much taller, and very handsome, boy walking next to him. "You got in late again last night." Baekhyun groaned. "I know. But rent is due again, I can't afford to eat, and the restaurant pays me barely anything. I didn't even get any good tips."

They walked in silence for a while. Sehun was also new to the city, he had moved from the country to study accounting, and was serious and quiet but kind. He was also quirky in a way that Baekhyun enjoyed. Baekhyun really lucked out with his roommate. He had heard stories of other people being stuck with parties, drinking, roommates bringing other people back to their rooms and doing all sorts of things. Sehun just liked to study and watch movies. He was also the only person Baekhyun knew in the city.

They split up when the reached the lecture theatre. Baekhyun went into lecture theatre 2A. His class was 'Introduction to Child Development' and he hoped he could stay awake. He drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair and envied the girls sitting near him with their expensive sweaters and their takeaway coffees and their shiny hair and their shiny laptops. He had a laptop he had owned since he was 14. He was 18 now and it was on its way out. He just hoped it lasted the rest of the year.

Baekhyun stared around the room. He was the only boy in the lecture theatre. Baekhyun had grown up in a big family house in the country, one of many cousins all younger than him, and so a career in early childhood education just made sense. He was great with little kids, he loved their honesty and their unselfconscious joy, and their thirst for fun. He had imagined himself seated on one of those tiny chairs they always have in kindergartens, reading from picture books, enjoying the sweet faces of his enraptured audience. He pictured art projects, singing time and sand play. He hadn't pictured three hour lectures on the Circle of Security or 5000 word essays on Erikson's theory of development.

Another yawn attacked his mouth and the noise made some girls turn around and stare at him. He just gave them a dirty look back and they went back to their quiet gossip. Baekhyun couldn't take it anymore. He unlocked his phone, set it to voice record, and put his head down. His eyes closed as soon as they hit the desk.

He woke up to the sound of people gathering their things. He packed up his stuff and checked his phone. There was a text from his boss at the restaurant asking if he wanted an extra shift tonight. He didn't want one but he needed one so he sent back a reply saying yes. Hopefully it would be an early night.

As he walked out of the lecture theatre he overheard one of the girls complaining loudly to another that she had quit her nanny job the day before. Complaining about her boss always being late home, the children being naughty, the house always a mess. Nannying? Why hadn't Baekhyun thought of that before? He had his first aid qualification now and all his clearances had been done too. Applying with a nanny agency might just get him out of the restaurant and into some real cash.

He headed back to his dorm and threw himself down on his bed. As he stared at the roof he remembered the nanny thing. He opened his laptop and waited while the ancient machine whirred into life and connected to the dorm wifi. He searched for the nanny agency website and filled out his details. He attached copies of his certificates and clearances and resume. He didn't really expect a response. His resume was pretty bare.

He closed his eyes again. He still had the essay due tomorrow, he would probably be stuck at the restaurant until after midnight, and payday wasn't for three days. At least he would get dinner tonight on shift.

He looked at the time and decided he better get organised. White shirt and black pants on, he grabbed his phone, and headed out the door. He worked hard and the hours went by quickly. He successfully avoided the giggles and flirtations of the women at the restaurant. Baekhyun was short and small, with a beautiful face, and soulful puppy eyes which he liked to accentuate with a little soft eyeliner. His body was tight and his hands were pretty and soft. Women were drawn to his shapely thighs and his round ass that were showcased to perfection in his tight black pants.

But his secret, stashed safely inside him, was that he had no interest in women whatsoever. Baekhyun was pretty sure he was gay. Growing up in a country town where he was related to half the boys wasn't helpful. He'd never even had a first kiss. 18 years old and never been kissed. How sad. Baekhyun's mind wandered as he stood in the kitchen eating a plate of leftover pasta. "Hey is anyone going to care if I take the rest of this?" He called out and the silence was taken as an affirmative response. He packed the leftover pasta into a container and walked out of the back door of the kitchen. It was 11pm. Not too bad.

He wandered home slowly and methodically. The night sky above him was ink black and clouded with light pollution. The one thing Baekhyun missed from the country was the stars. City people had no idea how beautiful the night sky was when it was a million miles away from everywhere and stars were sprinkled across it like sunlight on water.

He got home and switched on his laptop, intending to try and get the essay done, his eyes tired from the long day. As it buzzed into life he saw he had an unread email. He clicked on it to find it was from the nanny agency. Surprise washed over his face as he read the email. An interview tomorrow, with a Mr Park, 2pm. He breathed out slowly, closed the email, and began to work on his essay at last. He was tired, but he pushed through, and finally fell into bed too exhausted to even worry about the interview.

 

Chanyeol sat in his office, the sound of the twins running wild at Kai's desk grating, when a notification email came through from the nanny agency.

_New profile created. Resume added._

It was worth a look.

Chanyeol was pretty sure every other nanny in the area had already been hired and quit. He opened the profile.

**_Byun Baekhyun_** **_18_** **_Male_** **_No previous professional experience_** **_Student at Seoul University_**

18 was young. So young. And a male? A boy nanny? That seemed weird. But as he listened to the tortured shrieks coming from Kai he set up the interview. It was 5pm, he still had work to do, and this boy was the only new profile added for weeks. He had no choice. He needed a new nanny. His work would have to wait today but it couldn't wait too long.

He opened the office door. Taeyong was on Kai's lap smearing the sugary icing from his donut all over Kai's shirt. Jaehyun was having a great time pushing files and papers off the desk into a pile on the floor. "Jae! Stop that!" Chanyeol grabbed him by the hand. "He made me!" Jaehyun pointed to Taeyong and started to cry. Taeyong started to cry too. Kai looked from one to the other in a panic. Chanyeol just sighed. "Come on." He grabbed one with each hand. "Let's go home."

Jaehyun was still crying as Chanyeol strapped him into his car seat. "Stop. Please." Chanyeol had a headache. "Daddy's mad." Jaehyun sobbed and sniffed. "I'm not mad. I'm tired." He said as he strapped Taeyong in on the other side. As he drove out of the car park his head pounded and his heart ached. He wished he wasn't so short tempered with them all the time. He was a shitty Dad and he knew it.

"Daddy can we go to the park?" Taeyong asked as they neared their building. "Not today. It's dinner time." Chanyeol said. "Can we get icecream after?" Taeyong continued. "Not today Taeyong." Jaehyun had stopped crying. Now Taeyong started. All Chanyeol could think about was getting them into bed and asleep so he could sleep. The sound of crying had become a constant when he was with them. He envied their freedom to cry whenever they felt like it. Chanyeol had to save his tears for times when no one could see them.

Chanyeol unlocked the door to his apartment. There were still dishes everywhere from the day before. He sighed for the millionth time that day and got out two cups of instant ramen and boiled the kettle. As he put the cups in front of his boys he could have cried again. Another crappy dinner. Chanyeol could cook just fine, well even, but he was too tired and didn't have the time. But Jaehyun just looked up at him and grinned. "Thank you Daddy. My favourite!" His smile melted Chanyeol into a puddle.

They splashed their bath water everywhere while Chanyeol just watched on. He couldn't even be bothered telling them to stop. He felt like all he did was say stop, no, don't, later, tomorrow. He was over it. He let them squeal and splash.

By the time he got them into bed it was 8:30pm. 7:30 would have been better but a lot of things would be better. Chanyeol looked around. He wanted to collapse into bed but now there were two days worth of dishes, school clothes to be ironed, lunches to be packed and he still had to shower himself. He forced his tired body through the motions and finally collapsed. He had his fingers crossed for this interview tomorrow. He needed help and soon.

Baekhyun skipped class for the interview. He had to take the bus and he didn't want to be late. He had dressed in his neatest looking polo shirt and cleanest jeans. He only had casual clothes and his restaurant clothes and they wouldn't suffice. He hoped he looked okay. He entered the building and rode the elevator up to the 6th floor as instructed and went to the front desk. "Park Advertising" hung over the reception desk and he was shown through a long corridor to an office at the end.

He sat patiently and waited. He was early, but it was either be too early or catch a later bus, which he couldn't risk. He didn't want to play on his phone while he waited so he just sat there. Finally, after what felt like forever, a handsome man with smooth tanned skin stood in front of him. "Mr Park will see you now." The man smiled at Baekhyun and he quickly stood up and followed into a large office with big windows. The secretary showed Baekhyun into the room and announced. "Mr Byun. For the nanny interview." And made a quick retreat.

The man from behind the desk stood up and walked towards Baekhyun as his breath caught in his chest. He was so tall. Wow. He was handsome. Baekhyun tried to pick his age, maybe 26, he was probably older than he looked. He snapped out of it when he heard the man speak in a deep soothing voice. "Thank you for coming Mr Byun. I'm Mr Park. Please sit." Baekhyun smiled and shook his hand and sat across from the tall man.

"So." Chanyeol cleared his throat. He hadn't imagined the boy to be so... cute? Pretty? Pretty was an unusual way to describe a boy but it was the only one that fit. It had taken him by surprise and thrown him off a little. He stared at the boy's beautiful eyes for a little too long but he couldn't look away.

"So." He started again, escaping from his momentary distraction, shaking his gaze free from the boys soft brown eyes. "Why do you want to be my nanny?" The straightforward question surprised Baekhyun. "Well. To be totally honest I need the money. I am studying a relevant qualification. I want to be an early childhood teacher, hopefully kindergarten aged, and I'm going to university during the day and working in a restaurant at night to make ends meet." Chanyeol smiled to himself. An honest answer. Usually he got the same bland answers about loving children, shaping the minds of the future, being part of a family. Chanyeol saw through them all. With this one he didn't have to.

Baekhyun continued. "I've moved from the country to study and I'm supporting myself through university and it's hard. It would be amazing if I could gain some professional experience." Chanyeol nodded. "So what experience do you have?" Baekhyun sat back and described his childhood, surrounded by cousins, left in charge all the time, while the adults managed the farm. Chanyeol nodded again. He didn't know why he was even bothering. This kid was his last option.

"Do you have questions for me?" Chanyeol asked. "Sure. Can I know about the child please?" Baekhyun asked. Chanyeol suddenly realised he hadn't told the kid anything. "Of course, sorry, I have two children. Twin boys. Non identical. They're five years old and they are at school. I need someone five days a week, 3pm to 8pm. Sometimes I'm late, and I will pay you for any extra hours, but I need flexibility." Chanyeol continued. "They're a bit of a handful." He blushed. That was an understatement. "I can only afford to pay you $21 per hour." Baekhyun broke out into a smile. The restaurant only paid him $14.

"Any other questions?" Chanyeol asked. "Sure. Can I meet them. I mean, I'll be working for them more than I'll be working for you, I'd like to meet them before I accept. That is, if I get the job, I mean." Baekhyun suddenly felt shy under the gaze of the older man and stared down at the table. "Are you free now? You can come with me to the school. The job is yours if you want it." No one had ever asked Chanyeol if they could meet the boys first. There was something different about this kid and he might just turn out to be what Chanyeol needed.

 

An awkward silence filled the car. Baekhyun and Chanyeol both stared straight ahead as they drove to the school. Chanyeol didn't know what to say. In the end Baekhyun broke the silence. "Can you tell me some things about the boys? What they like to do and things like that?" Chanyeol thought hard. "Taeyong likes to make trouble and Jaehyun likes to help him." Both men chuckled. Baekhyun liked Chanyeol's honesty. Chanyeol decided to continue. "I've been through 11 nannies in 7 months. It's a hard job. You still want it?" Baekhyun nodded. He didn't just want it. He needed it.

Chanyeol turned the steering wheel as they pulled up near the school and a white gold wedding ring caught the afternoon sun. Baekhyun hadn't asked about his wife, and Chanyeol hadn't brought her up, but the ring flashed in the light like a signal fire. He was very obviously married. Baekhyun wanted to ask but felt too awkward. She obviously wasn't around much or he wouldn't need the nanny so badly.

They parked at the school and got out. People turned to look at the odd pair as they walked in. The tall handsome man in the neat suit and the short and pretty man walking next to him. When Taeyong and Jaehyun saw Chanyeol waiting for them they ran to him in delight. "Daddy!" They both squealed as they tried to push each other out the way vying for Chanyeol's arms. Baekhyun couldn't help but smile. "Okay. Settle down." Chanyeol laughed. "Where's Uncle Kai?" Jaehyun asked. "Can't Daddy come and pick you up without a hundred questions?" Jaehyun eyed him suspiciously and Chanyeol gave in. "Fine. I'm here because Mr Byun here might be your new nanny." Baekhyun smiled at both boys who frowned at him. "A boy can't be a nanny." Taeyong yelled. "Yeah!" Jaehyun joined in. "That's weird!" Chanyeol was embarrassed. Baekhyun just laughed too.

"I know. A boy nanny! That's weird!" Baekhyun laughed. "Who would want a boy nanny?" The twins eyed him curiously. He knew he had them. "A boy nanny? A nanny that likes to play soccer at the park? How silly!" Their eyes widened. "A boy nanny who likes cartoons and climbing trees and fishing at the beach. Yuk. You're right." He turned to Chanyeol. "I'm very sorry Mr Park. It seems your twins here don't want a boy nanny!" Chanyeol almost melted into the delight and mischief in Baekhyun's shining eyes as the boy winked at him. The twins turned to each other, exchanged silent words between themselves, and then turned back to Baekhyun. "We changed our minds! We do want a boy nanny!" Taeyong grabbed Baekhyun by the hand and Jaehyun, never one to be left out, quickly grabbed the other.

"Are you coming home with us today?" Taeyong asked Baekhyun as he gripped his hand tightly. The little boys imagination had been fuelled by talk of soccer games and fishing trips. Chanyeol shook his head. "Not today." He smiled at Baekhyun who was smiling down at the little boys clinging to his arms. "Mr Byun can't start a new job on a Friday." Jaehyun pouted. He liked the idea of this nanny climbing trees in the park. "Can you start Monday?" Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun nodded.

Chanyeol handed over a key and wrote down the address and his phone number. "Just like that?" Baekhyun was confused. "Just pick them up from here and take them home? When I haven't even seen where that is?" Chanyeol cringed. No wonder they all quit. He was shit at this. "Ok. Jump in the car and I'll show you our building and then I'll take you home. I have to get back to the office." They piled into the car and drove the short distance from the school to their apartment building. The twins chattered excitedly the whole time, talking over each other, vying for Baekhyun's attention.

"We aren't going up?" Baekhyun asked as they sat in the car outside. Chanyeol shook his head. No way was he letting someone see how untidy the apartment was. Something suddenly occurred to Chanyeol. "Do you have a car?" Baekhyun shook his head. Chanyeol mulled over this unexpected problem while Baekhyun just brushed it off. "Why does it matter? I live at the University, just behind their school, and it's walking distance to your home." Chanyeol conceded. It would be fine. A bit of a walk wouldn't hurt them. But they were so small.

As soon as Chanyeol dropped Baekhyun back off at the University dorms he pulled his phone out and quit the restaurant. He walked in to his room to find Sehun hunched over his desk. "How did your interview go?" Baekhyun grinned. "I got it!" Sehun smiled at him as Baekhyun fell onto his bed. "The Dad seems a bit weird but the kids are cute. Twin boys! Gonna keep me busy." Baekhyun rolled over and switched on his laptop and waited for it to whirr into life. "What about the Mum?" Sehun asked. Baekhyun sat up and thought hard. "He never mentioned her. Neither did the kids. I guess she's not around." Confusion played on Baekhyun's mind. He had seen the wedding ring glinting in the sun while Chanyeol drove to the school. Maybe she worked away?

Baekhyun still had a lot of questions but the most important thing was the money was great and he wouldn't be washing any dishes. The twins would be a handful but hey, that's what the job was, if you didn't want to look after kids then maybe pick another job.

He tried to study but he couldn't stop thinking about the odd little family. Chanyeol was so handsome, so tall and well built, Baekhyun wondered how he was going to be able to work for such an attractive man. Well he wouldn't be there most of the time anyway. He shouldn't be too distracting. He thought about the twins, so cute, so needy and whiny and busy. He could handle them. He felt excitement building in his stomach. This was what he wanted to do, care for children, not study theories and write essays and wash dishes. He tried to study but fell asleep with anticipation and trepidation. He hoped this job would be all the things he wanted it to be.

 

Baekhyun woke up more excited than he should have. It was early on Monday morning. Golden light streamed in the window illuminating his face and making his eyes squint. He sat and drank a mug of instant coffee and mentally timed and planned his day. Lectures from 10am to 2pm. That gave him an hour to study and get to the school. Plenty of time, even a buffer in case of emergencies, not all his days would work out like this though. He would have to skip out early here and there.

He opened his backpack and added his laptop, a spare shirt, and a mini soccer ball. He had a full size one but he couldn't fit it in the bag. He tossed in his notebook, folder, and a couple of pens and he was ready for the day. He didn't know what to expect, or how it would go, but all he could hope for was that he didn't have to go back to that damn restaurant. Quitting had been the highlight of his week.

He ploughed through the monotonous day and finally his last lecture was over. He decided to blow $5 on a cup of takeaway coffee, and wearing a soft rim of brown eyeliner and his hair blowing in the breeze as he walked, he felt almost as luxurious as those rich and pretty girls in his classes.

He made it to the school in ten minutes. He was early. It was good to have some time outside, to get his head straight, to mentally prepare himself for the huge afternoon ahead. He had spent the weekend so hype about the new job. Now that it was about to start he was suddenly filled with insecurities. What if one of them ran away from him? What if one got sick? What if they hated him and just cried for their Daddy? He pushed his insecurities aside. He told himself he knew how to handle all those situations, and he did, and anyway he couldn't be any worse that any of the other 11 nannies.

He found his way to the right classroom. He looked in the window and the children were still sitting on the carpet. Jaehyun looked up, and when he saw Baekhyun his little face lit up, and he gave a little wave. This quickly caught the attention of Taeyong, who looked up, and jumped up off the floor when he saw Baekhyun. Baekhyun laughed and signalled for him to sit back down but the little boy just stood oblivious, planted in the middle of the classroom, waving excitedly at their new nanny.

The bell blasted permission to leave and the boys ran out to Baekhyun. "Hi Mr Byun!" Jaehyun tugged one arm while Taeyong had the other. "Hey guys." He squatted down closer to them and leaned in. "Call me Baekhyun. At least when Daddy isn't around. It can be our secret ok?" He pressed a finger dramatically against his lips, and both boys giggled as they set off out the gate, all three with their schoobags on their backs.

The merry trio walked happily along in the bright sun. "We've never walked before! Everyone always drives us!" Taeyong chirped happily. They reached the end of the block and began to cut across the park. "Want to stop for a while?" Baekhyun asked the boys. "For real?" Jaehyun's eyes shone as Baekhyun fished out the little soccer ball. "I told you he was telling the truth." Taeyong hissed at his brother who was looking sheepish.

They kicked the ball around for at least an hour before the twins got bored. The smell of fresh cut grass was heavy in the air, and with the bright sunshine on their faces, the boys tired out quickly. "I'm hungry." Jaehyun whined and Baekhyun ruffled his fluffy hair. Baekhyun searched their bags but their lunchboxes had been cleaned out. He made a mental note to add fruit to his bag tomorrow. After a few swings and a few slides he managed to get them to head towards the apartment building. It was super weird letting himself into someone else's home. He hoped this feeling wouldn't last.

Baekhyun glanced at his phone as they walked in and was surprised to see it was already 4:50pm. They had wasted an hour and a half in the park. There was a note stuck to the fridge.

_"Sorry didn't have time to plan dinner. Make them anything they want. They like cup ramen. - C "_

Baekhyun opened the cupboards and the fridge. It seemed well stocked. The boys had gone straight to the tv and Baekhyun went in to find them. "Do you bath before or after dinner?" Taeyong and Jaehyun looked at each other and shrugged. "Ok. What are the rules? Do you know what time bedtime is?" They just shrugged again. Baekhyun sighed. He would have to make it up. He ran the bath water and added some bubbles he found. Heaps of fluffy white, sweet smelling, airy bubbles. Kids couldn't resist bubbles.

While the water filled the tub he got Taeyong, who seemed to be the twin in charge, to show him where their clothes were. Taeyong took him to the laundry room and showed Baekhyun a piled high basket of clean clothes. "Daddy doesn't have time to fold." Taeyong parroted something be had obviously heard many times. Baekhyun found two little pairs of pyjamas and picked up the basket. He sat it down on the toilet and while he watched the twins splash around he folded the tiny clothes. He left Chanyeol's. That was a bit weird, a bit too familiar, he didn't know how he felt about folding the tshirts and underwear of a man he just met.

With two tiny sparkly clean boys dressed in their pyjamas Baekhyun went back to the kitchen. "Can we watch more cartoons?" Taeyong called out and Baekhyun said yes. "Only until dinner is ready." He found some dried pasta and set it to boil. He found a frying pan and added some butter and garlic, some leftover chicken he found, and a few slices of ham. He chopped a spring onion and scraped it into the pan. As he turned around he jumped to find Jaehyun watching him from the doorway. "What you making?" The little boy asked quietly.

Baekhyun lifted him onto the bench to watch as he sliced a few cherry tomatoes. "Special soccer player pasta!" Baekhyun announced. He added the tomatoes and some spinach and a little cream. As the boys sat down at the table Jaehyun was excited but Taeyong was sceptical. "Why's it soccer pasta?" Baekhyun laughed. "Look. It's got grass in it!" He held up a string of spinach. "And the tomatoes look like soccer balls!" Taeyong was convinced and began to eat. Baekhyun grabbed out two more plates and piled the rest of the pasta onto them. He wrapped one and put it in the fridge while he devoured the other.

He decided 7:00 would be bedtime. They played on the living room floor while Baekhyun got out his ancient laptop. It took so long to start up that he got bored and went into the kitchen. _So much for not doing dishes anymore._ He filled the sink and washed the dinner dishes and the lunchboxes. By the time he was done it was time for bed, and he picked up one laughing twin under each arm, carrying the squealing boys to their room. "What's your favourite bedtime story?" Baekhyun asked to more blank stares and shrugs. Baekhyun found a thick book of fairytales and began to read and after 20 minutes the two little sleepyheads had nodded off.

That was easy. Baekhyun thought to himself. It was only 7:20. He spent ten minutes ironing and hanging their uniforms for the next day and at 7:30 he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down to write his now overdue essay. The apartment was silent except for the background noise of the tv. Before he knew it Baekhyun jumped at the sound of the key turning in the lock. Chanyeol was home.

 

His fingers drummed on the desk. He looked at the clock. 5pm. One more meeting, this one via teleconference, and he could head home. He wanted desperately to get home on time. He didn't know how capable the kid was. He wondered what they were doing. He imagined the house in its usual chaos, the twins running wild, mess everywhere. He shuddered. If this one quit he didn't know what he would do. And the company was just staring to recover. Chanyeol's mind swirled with turbulent thoughts of chaos, confusion and imagined crisis.

Sure, he had other people who could do things quite capably but the success of the company was due to Chanyeol's creativity. Advertising was a competitive business and he liked to have input into every project. And potential clients always liked to meet with the boss. Chanyeol's absence while he put his life back together hurt his company significantly. He absentmindedly turned the wedding ring still holding pride of place on his left hand. His mind wandered back to her again, smiling gently, her round belly growing every minute as their boys grew inside her. She would surprise him at the office, bringing lunch or coffee, or just popping in to show him the newest teddy or tiny pair of socks she bought.

Chanyeol rubbed his head, poured himself another cup of coffee, and headed into the conference room. If he could wrap this up he would be home by 8. He headed into the meeting and tried to push worried thoughts of what was happening at home out of his mind. Just once he would like to be able to give 100% to something. Whether it was work or home he always felt lacking, inadequate, like he wasn't giving enough. But he was just so tired.

It was his lucky day. He had secured a big project and was finished in time to get home. It was 7:45pm as he stood outside his door. Silence. Why was it so quiet? Should he be worried? He held his breath and turned the key in the lock. Chanyeol walked into unexpected serenity.

"Hi." Baekhyun, sitting at the dining table, looked up from his essay. "I hope you don't mind me studying? I figured it would be okay since the boys were asleep." Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol as he walked into the living area. "Ah, not at all, it's fine." Chanyeol eyed the room suspiciously. It was tidy. The dishes were done and a faint smell of something delicious lingered in the air. Baekhyun stood up from the table. "I didn't pack their school lunches because I wasn't sure what they were allowed to have. But I still have 15 minutes if you want to tell me what to make?" Chanyeol shook his head. "No it's fine. I'll do it." He indicated for Baekhyun to sit again and he sat across from him.

Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a rundown of the afternoon. "They enjoyed the walk. We played in the park for an hour. They really love being outside." Baekhyun grabbed his phone and showed Chanyeol a video of the boys, sunlight bouncing off their skin, laughing and chasing each other with the soccer ball bouncing in between them. Peals of delighted laughter filled the apartment from the speaker of the phone. Chanyeol watched with fascination as Baekhyun grinned at the video.

"They didn't know what the bedtime rules or routines were. So I bathed them before dinner. I hope that's ok. They were in bed at 7pm and asleep by 7:20." Chanyeol's mouth gaped open. Was this kid some sort of wizard? Must be first day luck. He wouldn't be able to keep this up.

Baekhyun got up and packed his laptop and folder into his backpack. "If that's all I'll see you tomorrow Mr Park." Chanyeol's concentration had lapsed as he stared at the small, distractingly cute, surprisingly capable young man. How had he managed to keep this so under control? "Mr Park?" He repeated. Chanyeol was brought back to reality. "How are you getting home? I can't drive you. I can't leave the boys here alone." Chanyeol suddenly remembered Baekhyun had no car. "I'll walk. It's not far." "But it's late." Chanyeol said and internally cringed. Baekhyun was an adult, although short and cute, and had shown himself to be capable of almost anything.

He heard a gentle laugh escape Baekhyun's lips and his attention was drawn again. His lips were so pretty and his laugh sounded like magic. Like crystal, like tiny bells, like some kind of spell. "I'll be fine. I always walked home from the restaurant." Baekhyun headed for the door. "Goodbye Mr Park!" He turned and looked over his shoulder. "There's a plate of dinner in the fridge if you want it." And he was gone.

Chanyeol was rooted to the spot trying to make sense of what just happened. He tiptoed in and checked on his boys. Both were fast asleep, angelic and perfect, and Chanyeol saw the school clothes neatly ironed and hung at the end of each bed. He checked the bathroom and found it neat and reasonably clean and dry. The living room was scattered with a few toys but nothing out of control. Then the kitchen. The dreaded kitchen, his enemy, the room in the house he hated the most. But when he walked in and saw the clean dishes and the clean lunchboxes and the plate of pasta in the fridge he lost it. Tonight, instead of frustration and exhaustion, a few tears of relief escaped Chanyeol's eyes.

He heated the pasta and ate it in front of the tv. The calm was eerie, he hadn't felt this way in a long time, surely the kid must have done something wrong.  Chanyeol desperately hoped not. He had to hang onto this one. He had never ever came home to a situation like this before. And to top it off the pasta was delicious. Chanyeol had forgotten what it was like to enjoy a meal cooked with care by someone else.

When he went into the laundry to find a clean shirt for tomorrow he found a neatly folded basket of the twins clothing. His own were still in a pile but he found a little note sitting on top of them.

" _Sorry I didn't fold yours it seemed a bit weird - B "_

Chanyeol smiled and stuffed the note into his pocket. That boy. He was a gift that kept on giving. He wondered if he got home safely. He really shouldn't have let him walk home alone. Would it be weird to text him and make sure he got home okay? He didn't think he would be able to sleep if he didn't.

 

Baekhyun sank onto his bed with a smile. Mission complete. The first day was a success. The kids were so cute. He didn't think they were so much of a handful. He thought of his cousins at that age, one who wouldn't keep his pants on, one who would only eat chicken nuggets, one who used to climb on the roof and wouldn't come down. The twins were busy, curious and full of vitality. Some consistent care and some rules would do them good. Baekhyun knew if there was one thing kids needed it was predictably.

He hit the shower and when he got out Sehun was home. "How was it?" He asked as Baekhyun laid on his bed. "Great. No problems." Baekhyun replied. "How was the Dad?" Baekhyun smiled to himself. Sehun caught him and laughed. "You got a crush on him or something?" Baekhyun went bright pink as a flush crept across his cheeks. "No!" He rolled over and shoved his face into his pillow. He had no poker face and he knew it. "Maybe." He said as he lifted it up again. "I knew it!" Sehun laughed. "I knew you were into guys. And you've got a crush on your new Daddy!" Sehun teased as Baekhyun threw his pillow at him. "Please don't ever say Daddy like that ever again." It made Baekhyun cringe.

His phone buzzed and he picked it up. It was a message from Chanyeol, making sure he got home safely, and a fresh blush crept across his cheeks as he read it and sent a quick reply. "Ooh is that Daddy?" Sehun teased as Baekhyun's frown turned savage. "I meant it. Don't say that it's so creepy." Sehun knew when to quit. "Anyway. He's married. And my boss. I'll get over it when I get used to him." Baekhyun said. He climbed under his covers as Sehun headed for the shower. "So did he talk about her yet?" Sehun asked and Baekhyun shook his head. No mention of her. He thought about it as he snuggled down into his bed and closed his eyes. No mention of who or where she was. The boys never mentioned her either. There weren't any womens items in the house or any photos of her. Baekhyun wondered where she was. And why did no one talk about her? He hugged his pillow tight as he forced himself to sleep. He'd had a long day and another one to face tomorrow. The last thing he thought of as he drifted into sleep was fruit. Can't forget their fruit.

Chanyeol showered and ironed his clothes for the next day. He couldn't believe he was getting into bed before 10pm. His body was tired but his mind was always utterly exhausted. He decided to send the message. It was brief and took the point. He hit send and got an immediate reply. Baekhyun had made it home safely and relief flooded him warmly.

He stretched himself out in his bed and then rolled over onto his stomach. He buried his face in the pillow and willed himself to sleep. He hoped she wouldn't come tonight, her memory haunting his dreams, making his sleep fitful and restless. He just needed a break. The feeling of coming home to order shook him to the core. He never imagined this boy, this small and pretty boy, would be so capable. There had to be a catch. He guessed he would find out what it was when the boys were up in the morning. There would be something. The kid couldn't be this perfect.

For the first time in forever Chanyeol slept a solid and dreamless sleep.

The next morning the boys were, as per usual, up with the sun. Jaehyun and Taeyong decided it would be a great idea to wake their Daddy by pulling on his ears. "Ya! Stop that!" He shook himself awake as he tried to save himself from their attack. "Don't you think they're big enough already without you pulling on them!" Jaehyun stopped and looked worried but Taeyong climbed onto Chanyeol's back and pulled harder. "Daddy's got big ears!" He shrieked as Chanyeol laughed and pulled him down from his back.

As they sat and ate their breakfast Chanyeol prodded them for information. "So. Was Mr Byun waiting for you at school?" "Yep. He was early." Jaehyun said as he chewed toast. "Yeah. We liked walking home. We even played in the park!" Taeyong said.

Ok. So far so good. "What did you do when you got home?" Taeyong through hard. "We were tired from all the soccer. We had a bath and Baekhyun let us watch cartoons while he cooked us soccer pasta!" Jaehyun shot him a look and Taeyong tried to back track. "I meant Mr Byun. Oops. Sorry Daddy." Chanyeol smiled. So he let them call him by his first name. That wasn't so bad. He was very young. Chanyeol thought about it and did some quick maths and realised Baekhyun was closer in age to the twins than to him.

"And did you eat the soccer pasta?" Chanyeol asked. Jaehyun grinned. "Yeah it looked weird but we liked it! It had grass in it!" Both boys dissolved into giggles. "Then he read stories while we went to sleep." Jaehyun climbed into Chanyeol's lap. "The park made me tired Daddy. I went to sleep real early." Chanyeol smiled at his adorable little face. "Is that why you're in such a good mood today? You have a nice long sleep?" Jaehyun nodded and climbed off Chanyeol's lap. He ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for school with Taeyong not far behind.

Chanyeol tidied up the breakfast dishes and thought about the boy again. So short, so pretty, Why was he so pretty? He wasn't pretty in a feminine way. He just had the sweetest face. His pleasant nature made him glow from within, like the beauty of a waxing moon, like rays of the sun hidden behind veils of clouds. No wonder the twins liked him so much. He had a sudden urge to observe them, to see what he was like with them, and how he managed to reign in the chaos of Chanyeol's life.

Coming home last night to peace and order was amazing. Chanyeol stared out the window and wondered wistfully if this would be his life every day if she was still alive. Coming home to a tidy house and a home cooked dinner. To order and routine. Waking up to happy well rested children, waking up happy and well rested himself, feeling strong and ready for another day.

But she wasn't alive. Two lonely tears made their way down his cheeks as he faced reality again. As he turned away from the window Jaehyun was staring at him from the doorway. "Daddy you sad again?" He said softly, his little voice trembling, as he took Chanyeol's hand. "Yes baby. Sorry. Daddy's sad again." He scooped the little boy up into his arms and pushed his feelings deep down. He couldn't keep doing this. It had been five years. She wasn't coming back. He had to move on.

 

The day was sunny and so was Baekhyun's mood. He had finished his essay and gone to bed before midnight. He would have to skip out of his Ethics lecture early but it would be fine. It wouldn't matter. As he packed his ancient laptop and a clean shirt he added some apples and the soccer ball. He didn't know if soccer would cut it two days in a row. He wanted to buy a kite but he just didn't have the cash. One more day and he would receive his last pay from the restaurant and he might be able to spare a little.

He slipped out of his lecture at 2:50pm. The walk to the school was just long enough to be pleasant but not tiring and the verdant streetscape put Baekhyun in a great mood. Being outside was so healing. He was excited to see if yesterday was just a fluke, if the boys would be as adorable and fun, or if today would show all of Baekhyun's inadequacies.

The twins burst from their classroom like uncaged birds. They flew into Baekhyun's arms as he almost fell backwards. He giggled and pried their arms free from his torso and they began the walk home. "Park today?" Taeyong's eyes shone with hope and expectation. Baekhyun smiled down at him. "Sure thing little tiger." He ruffled the boy's dark hair as they walked.

Baekhyun got the soccer ball out and it held their attention for a little while but not as long as the day before. Baekhyun had an idea this would be the case. A breeze blew up and he wished for the kite. A bright dragon kite with a long tail. They would love it! But he had to make do with what he had today. "Let's go climb that tree!" He said. He led them to a big tree by the edge of the playground.

Taeyong quickly clambered up to Baekhyun's head height, admittedly not that high, and perched himself in the fork of the trunk. "Good job spider monkey!" Baekhyun reached up and high fived the little boy grinning down at him. Baekhyun swung himself onto a low branch. "You coming?" He held his hand out to Jaehyun who was suddenly pale. "No. I'm scared!" Baekhyun held his hand out again. "Be brave!" He said to the tiny boy on the ground. "Yeah! I'm not scared!" Taeyong yelled down at the other twin. Baekhyun turned to Taeyong. "That's not helping. He can't change the way he feels just because you don't feel that way. Jaehyun is allowed to be scared." Taeyong went red. "Come on Jae! You can do it!" He yelled. Baekhyun smiled at him. Better. Much better. "I can't be brave. I'm too scared." Tears filled Jaehyun's eyes. Baekhyun climbed down and took his hand. "Jae, the only time you can be brave is when you're scared, ok?" Jaehyun's little face scrunched, he sniffed, then he calmed.

Baekhyun held him by the hand as the little boy gripped a low hanging branch and stepped up onto another. He grinned at Baekhyun in his triumph as he climbed up to where Taeyong was perched. "Yay for Jae!" Taeyong grabbed him by the arm and pulled him close. Baekhyun melted. They were so cute. He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of them, snuggled together, perched in the fork of the trunk. Baekhyun turned the front camera on and put himself in the shot. "Say cheese!" He yelled and made a funny face. The boys both squealed and made faces too. Baekhyun snapped the picture and showed them and all three dissolved into giggles. Baekhyun wanted to send the picture to Chanyeol but he felt like he didn't know him nearly well enough. He put his phone away.

Taeyong climbed higher and Baekhyun dragged him down. The three of them sat on the grass in the shade and ate their apples while Baekhyun questioned them about things they liked to do. "Do you ride bikes?" The twins looked at each other. "No. Daddy doesn't have time for the park." Taeyong said. Baekhyun thought of his own childhood racing down the dirt roads of the family farm on his bike, the wind in his hair, the inevitable grazes and bruises when he fell off regularly. The twins didn't even have a backyard. "Ok. Think of some inside things we can do, and some outside things here at the park, and I'll start making a list. Ok?" The boys nodded.

Baekhyun got out his notebook and a pen. He wanted the twins to see that he was taking their ideas seriously.

"Play dough. Painting. Story time." Jaehyun said quickly. Baekhyun nodded and wrote them down. "Good inside ideas Jae. What else do you want to do?"

"Ride bikes. Skip rope. Treasure hunt." Taeyong said. Baekhyun didn't know what treasure hunt was but he wrote them all down and smiled at Taeyong. "Can I put things on the list?" Baekhyun asked and the boys both nodded. "Fly a kite." Baekhyun added. The boys nodded in agreement. They were taking this so seriously and it was so cute. They really were adorable.

The sun was slowly dropping as they continued with their list. They began to get silly and Taeyong tried to add things like ride ponies, go to the circus, and drive a car. Baekhyun laughed and shook his head. "Maybe one day." He said with a grin at the little boy. "Anything else you want to learn how to do?" Jaehyun slipped his tiny hand into Baekhyun's and looked up at him with big chocolate coloured eyes filled with hope. "I want to learn how to stop Daddy from being sad all the time. Can you teach us that?"

Baekhyun wasn't prepared. A thickness filled his throat. He didn't know what to say to the little boy looking at him so expectantly. "How do you know your Daddy is sad? Adults have lots of different feelings." Baekhyun squeezed his hand to give the little boy some reassurance. "He cries a lot. And says he's sad." Taeyong piped up. _Ok_. Thought Baekhyun. _I guess he is sad._ Something inside him broke a little, picturing the tall and handsome man crying, and he wondered why this man had so much sadness inside.

"Do you know why your Daddy is sad?" Baekhyun asked. "Yep. It's because our Mummy went away." Jaehyun said. "She went away when we were born." Taeyong added. Away? Left them. Or? Baekhyun's mind wandered over the possibilities but Jaehyun crawled into his lap and broke his train of thought. "We go see her on our birthday. She's at the ceme.. cemerer..." "Cemetary." Taeyong interjected.

Baekhyun mulled over this new information as they headed for the apartment. She died when they were born? No wonder he seemed so stressed. No wonder he was so sad. No wonder he needed help. The poor guy. Baekhyun couldn't even begin to imagine the pain he had been through. He barely knew Chanyeol but his heart ached for the man. And for the little boys holding tightly to his hands.

 

Chanyeol sat behind his desk, sending emails, negotiating fees, making deals. His company had secured a big advertising contract and he wouldn't be able to relax until the contracts were signed. It would be the biggest cash influx the company had since he came back full time and it would give him some breathing space for a few months. The company had suffered so much while Chanyeol had been absent. He had to turn it around.

He looked at the clock on the wall. It was 4:30pm already. He picked up the phone and called his secretary. "Kai, what do I have booked after 6pm today?" "Nothing." Kai answered after checking the diary. "Ok. Block it out. I wouldn't mind getting home a bit early tonight."

He sat back in his chair. He had a renewed vigour after getting a decent sleep last night. It had really made a difference. He had been much more productive.

_Baekhyun_.

How had the kid managed to keep his boys in line and achieve so much? He wouldn't have been able to do it two days in a row. Today he would have slipped up. He would have lost his temper, made a mess, struggled at some point. And it was fine. He was still the best nanny so far.

By the time he finished up the contracts and proposals were ready to be signed and it was only 6:30pm. Kai had already left. Chanyeol packed up and left his office for home.

Baekhyun had stuck to yesterday's winning routine. He bathed the boys and then let them watch cartoons while he raided the fridge. Jaehyun begged for ramen so Baekhyun found vegetables and added them to the noodles while they cooked. He found some chicken and cut it into strips and fried it while the noodles cooked. They didn't question the food tonight. They were hungry and tired. They went back to their cartoons while Baekhyun tidied the kitchen. The plate of pasta from the night before was gone so he replaced it with a bowl of chicken and fresh ramen. The thought of Chanyeol eating his food made Baekhyun smile.

He already had a soft spot for his tall and good looking boss. Now that he knew he had lost his wife, raised his babies on his own, he saw him in a whole new light. Before he knew he had thought of him as a busy Dad who couldn't get his shit together. Now he knew that Chanyeol was someone who needed help. He needed someone in his life who would be there. Even just to do the little things like leave a plate of dinner in the fridge.

As he washed the sink full of dishes he listened to the twins arguing in front of the tv. "I climbed higher." Jaehyun smirked. "No you didn't. I climbed higher. You didn't want to climb at all." Taeyong shot back. Baekhyun let them argue. They didn't need all their arguments intervened by adults. As he packed away the dishes he got out the lunchboxes. It didn't look that complicated. He made two sandwiches, added fruit and muesli bars he found in the cupboard, and squeezy packs of yoghurt he found in the fridge. He called the boys in and got their approval before he put the lunchboxes away in the fridge. There was no washing to fold so he ironed two tiny little school shirts and shorts. They were the last two clean sets and he made a mental note to wash tomorrow afternoon.

As soon as it hit 7pm it was bedtime. The twins snuggled into Jaehyun's bed together as Baekhyun lay across the end. He had the book open and began to read as their little eyes drooped and dozed.

Chanyeol turned his key in the lock quietly and slipped into the house. Why was it so quiet? He crept quietly down the corridor, suddenly drawn by a melodious voice, soothing in its quiet refrain. He stopped in the doorway of the twins' bedroom and took in the scene. His boys, his rowdy and energetic boys, cuddled up sweetly in one bed. Baekhyun laying across the end on his stomach, his legs bent high in the air, the thick book of fairy tales open as Baekhyun read aloud. The sound was almost magical. Chanyeol stood deathly still, not daring to move, not daring to ruin the moment. _I bet he sings beautifully_. Was all Chanyeol could think as he was mesmerised by the vision of this beautiful boy reading aloud in a voice that was soft and soothing and clear.

Baekhyun was absorbed in the book, the tale of Puss In Boots not interesting enough to stop them from dozing, sleep written all over their little faces. Suddenly Taeyong sat up and reached out towards the door. "Daddy!" He called, his little voice heavy, his eyes almost closed. Baekhyun turned to see Chanyeol leaning against the doorframe. His lips were drawn into a smile at the sight of his little boy's face. How long had he been standing there?

Chanyeol walked over and lifted Taeyong out of the bed and held him tight. "Daddy you're home." Taeyong mumbled as Chanyeol put him down in his own bed. Jaehyun was already asleep. Baekhyun got up and put the books away as Chanyeol kissed the sleeping boy's forehead. As he stroked a few hairs off the boy's face Baekhyun saw the wedding ring flash in the light. _He still loves her. Poor guy._

Baekhyun headed for the kitchen as Chanyeol turned the light out. He looked at the clock. 7:15pm. He felt suddenly awkward. The chores were done. He had planned on getting some study done but now Chanyeol was home he didn't know what he would expect. He decided to turn on the kettle. When he turned around Chanyeol was in the kitchen with him. "Do you want coffee Mr Park?" Baekhyun stumbled over his words. "Or I've made you some dinner?" Chanyeol smiled at him and he thought he was going to melt into a puddle. "Coffee sounds good. I'll make it." And the tall man was in the kitchen with him, busying himself with mugs and milk, too close for Baekhyun's comfort.

Chanyeol sensed the younger man's discomfort. "Go sit. I know you've still got some time before you finish. I was hoping we could have a chat." Baekhyun went to the living room and picked up the toys while he waited then sat on the couch. Chanyeol came in with the coffees, put them down on the coffee table, then joined Baekhyun on the couch. All Baekhyun could think was why he didn't choose to sit on the armchair?

 

Chanyeol sat close to Baekhyun on the couch. He wasn't even sure why. _Why didn't I sit in the armchair?_ He shifted nervously as he felt the heat between them. There was an undeniable tension in the air. It filled Chanyeol's lungs, thick and oppressive, making him nervous. _Why am I so nervous?_

He cleared his throat and began to speak. He was relieved to find his tension lessened a little. "So... Your first two days have gone well?" Baekhyun nodded. "And you haven't had any trouble from the boys?" Baekhyun shook his head. Chanyeol had a million questions before he sat down. Now they were impossible to grasp. He was so distracted by Baekhyun's face. Chanyeol's eyes wandered, following his straight nose down to his soft pink lips, and back up to deep brown irises that sparkled like they held all the secrets of the universe. Chanyeol was staring but he couldn't help it. He was drowning. Baekhyun saved him by looking away. He reached over for his coffee and took a sip. Baekhyun did the same.

Baekhyun tried to keep his breathing steady. He could feel the tension between them. His crush was out of control. When Chanyeol stopped talking and stared into his eyes he held his gaze for as long as he could. It broke him. He had to look away. He began to ramble nervously to fill the replete silence. "I made the lunchboxes today. There wasn't anything to fold but I did the uniforms too. I also made dinner again and left you a plate, I guessed that you ate last nights, so my cooking didn't kill you." He giggled nervously.

The heavy silence remained so Baekhyun continued. "We went to the park again. I packed some fruit and they played for ages. We climbed a big tree. Jaehyun was scared at first but look!" Baekhyun grabbed his phone out and opened the pictures. He showed Chanyeol the photos of the twins, grinning and making faces, perched in the fork of the tree. "He did it! Taeyong and I encouraged him and he was so proud of himself. I was going to send the pictures to you at work but....." Baekhyun didn't know how to end the sentence.

Chanyeol took the phone from his hand. He scrolled through the photos and smiled as he looked at them. "You didn't show me this one!" He laughed at the photo of Baekhyun and the boys pulling faces at the camera. The next one was Baekhyun and the twins smiling sweetly as they perched in the tree. "I'll send them to my phone." Chanyeol said as he quickly selected a few and hit the airdrop button. He handed the phone back to Baekhyun.

"I didn't send them to you, well, mainly because I don't know the rules. Am I allowed to take their picture? Are we allowed to climb trees? And what time is bedtime? I've just been putting them down at 7pm." Words tumbled out of Baekhyun's mouth. Chanyeol cleared his throat nervously. "Ah, all that is fine, I don't really mind what you do." He cringed internally as he said it. He felt like the worlds shittiest dad. He had no rules, no routines and no clue. And this 18 year old kid sitting on his couch had better parenting skills that he could ever hope to have. He could really learn a few things from Baekhyun. How was he so young, and so innocent, but so mature and so wise?

Chanyeol shifted nervously again. "Actually. What I really wanted to say was how great you have been so far. I don't know how you feel about this but would it be okay if I maybe watched you with them?" Chanyeol took a big gulp of his coffee to hide his nervousness but just dripped it down the front of his shirt. He stared at the brown spot spreading across his pristine white cotton shirt before snapping back to attention. "I mean, I really can't get my head around how you manage to look after them and cook and clean and all those other things." Baekhyun looked at him curiously then smiled. "Of course. I don't mind. I think it would be good for us to get to know each other better anyway." Baekhyun desperately wanted to get to know Chanyeol better but, really, it was pointless. Chanyeol was his boss, obviously straight, and so much older. The odds of Baekhyun having any sort of chance with this man were less than zero. He suddenly felt hot, overwhelmed by Chanyeol's closeness, his charisma was intoxicating. Baekhyun had to get away.

Baekhyun stood up and collected the coffee mugs and took them into the kitchen. Chanyeol watched him walk away, his eyes tracing the outline of Baekhyun's curvy thighs and his round ass, visible in the tight skinny jeans he was wearing. He heard him wash the cups out in the sink and then he walked back in the room. He knew he was staring but he was powerless to stop.

Baekhyun flushed when he walked back in and Chanyeol was staring at him. He suddenly felt very self aware. "It's almost 8pm." He stuttered. "Can I get ready to go Mr Park?" Chanyeol stood. "Yes. Of course." He knew he had made the boy uncomfortable. "So. Is Friday okay?" Baekhyun stared at him blankly. "For.. for what?" "For me to come home early and see how you manage to control my monsters!" Chanyeol laughed nervously as he walked Baekhyun to the door. "I would like to meet you at the school. I promise I won't keep you late. Being Friday and all, you probably have plans, a date or a party to go to."

Baekhyun's face broke out into a smile, radiant and fresh, and Chanyeol was drowning again. He couldn't look away. "No. Not me. I never have plans. I... I don't really party." Baekhyun stuttered and then blushed. As pink spread across his cheeks and he looked up at Chanyeol through thick dark lashes Chanyeol felt his world fall apart. He was so beautiful.

"See you tomorrow Mr Park!" Baekhyun chirped and opened the door. And he was gone. Chanyeol could breathe again. He went back to the couch and tried to process the last half hour. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the couch. The boy just confused him so much. He couldn't have a crush on him. He just couldn't. First of all he was a boy. Second of all he was his employee. Third of all he was so young.

_So very young._

Chanyeol got up. He walked around the house. Perfect. Everything was perfect. The dishes were done, the lunchboxes were packed, the uniforms were folded. He found the plate of food and put it in the microwave. As it heated, he leaned on the bench, and got his phone out. He scrolled through the photos Baekhyun had taken of the boys. One of his boys smiling in the tree. One of the twins laughing. One of them making funny faces. One of the boys and Baekhyun smiling, the sun on their faces, dappled through the leaves of the tree.

He ate his dinner, showered, and fell into bed. Another decent bedtime. As he drifted off he felt the usual nighttime demons trying to creep in, nightmares and visions of dark hair, dark rooms and dark red blood. But tonight the golden light of dappled sun and a beautiful sweet smile kept the demons at bay. Chanyeol slept soundly and sweetly.

 

It was Friday. Finally. Baekhyun didn't know whether to be excited or nervous, joyful or apprehensive, or a combination. But one thing he did know was he still had an overwhelming, stumbling, blushing crush on his boss. His employer. Park Chanyeol.

It was also payday. Chanyeol had offered to pay him weekly and with his entire last cheque from the restaurant eaten up by rent he was desperate. He still wanted to buy the boys a kite. He also wanted to go to the nearest barbecue restaurant and eat whatever he wanted without worrying about the bill.

They day went quickly and since his last lecture finished at 2pm Baekhyun decided he had time to run home and shower. He redressed in a newer pair of black skinny jeans and added his black Converse and a plain white tshirt. White might have been a bad choice but he wanted to wear it. He quickly blowdried his hair and added eyeliner. Just a little. Just enough. When he was ready he headed out the door and, schoolbag on his back, walked in the direction of the school.

He beat Chanyeol there. He had half expected him to cancel, send an apologetic text, but a few minutes before the bell rang his tall and brooding boss was suddenly beside him. "Hey." He said, looking down at Baekhyun, who just smiled up at him with an imperceptible blush. Their silent conversation was interrupted by the intrusion of the bell and two excited little boys. "Daddy! And Baekhyun!" Taeyong exclaimed, tripping over his little feet, as he rushed towards the men with Jaehyun in tow. "I mean Mr Byun." Taeyong corrected himself as he clung to Baekhyun's arm. "Hi Daddy." Jaehyun smiled up at the tall man whose brooding turned to beaming in the presence of his sons.

They headed out of the school gate and Chanyeol turned towards his black SUV parked on the side of the road. Baekhyun shook his head. "No way! You wanted to see how I do things. No car today." Chanyeol thought for a second. "I can't just leave it here." "Yes you can! Come get it later!" Baekhyun smiled as he headed for the park with a twin attached to each arm.  Chanyeol shoved the keys back in his pocket and took off after them.

Their squeals of delight were intense. The twins were loose on the grass like uncaged birds. Baekhyun chased them with the mini soccer ball flying around their feet. Chanyeol wished he had changed his clothes. His suit and dress shoes weren't exactly conducive to a competitive soccer match. He stretched back on the grass, jacket off, sleeves rolled up. They were so alive out here in the sun and the wind. He watched Baekhyun chasing them, his energy as relentless as theirs, all the vitality of his youth and health glowing in the afternoon sun.

With the soccer ball abandoned on the grass Taeyong and Jaehyun ran towards the playground. Baekhyun and Chanyeol followed at a slower pace and settled on a bench outside the fence. Chanyeol pulled out an envelope of cash after they sat and handed it to Baekhyun. "$525. Sorry it's cash. Would you prefer a cheque or bank transfer?" Baekhyun took it and shoved it in his backpack. "Cash is fine." He couldn't believe he had made so much money in one week. He was definitely getting barbecue tonight. He looked around and saw the shop he knew had the dragon kites. "Can you watch my bag?" He asked as he pulled out a $50 and took off at a jog across the park.

Chanyeol watched him as he left and wondered where he was going. He looked back to his boys, happy and free, climbing to the top of the slide over and over. No wonder they sleep well now. Baekhyun's energy was wearing them out. And it was infectious. Chanyeol regretted not bringing a change of clothes. He felt stuffy and awkward in his neat charcoal grey suit pants and white shirt. He wanted badly to rediscover that energy, that unbridled joy, the pure happiness of playing in the sun.

No sooner had Baekhyun left and he was back, shaking Chanyeol from his thoughts, and grinning like a satisfied child. He called out to the twins who ran to see what he had hiding behind his back. When he dramatically revealed the kite they gasped and jumped up and down. "I've never flown a kite!" Taeyong squealed. "Me either!" Jaehyun was not to be outdone. "Can I have a turn please Baekhyun!" Jaehyun's sweet face was filled with wonder at the sight of the jade green dragon kite with the long red tail. "Eat your fruit snack first. Then you can." Baekhyun dug into his backpack and handed the twins a banana each which they devoured like little monkeys.

As soon as the kite was in the air Baekhyun handed the string over to the boys. As they chattered excitedly to each other and passed the string back and forth Chanyeol had to smile. They even got along better when Baekhyun was in charge. "I've been dying all week to get them that kite!" Baekhyun looked so pleased with himself. Realisation suddenly swept through Chanyeol's mind. He was so stupid.

"I'm so sorry." He said to Baekhyun and pulled another $50 out of his wallet. "I didn't give you any sort of allowance for expenses." He was so bad at this. No wonder they all quit. This poor student was putting snacks in his kids mouths and Chanyeol hadn't even considered the need for an allowance.

Baekhyun eyed the money suspiciously. "What's that for?" Chanyeol looked at the expression on his face and again felt awkward and incompetent. "For, you know, stuff....." he cleared his throat. "Bananas, dragon kites, maybe taking them for icecream once a week." Baekhyun pushed it away. Chanyeol insisted. When Baekhyun shook his head Chanyeol grabbed his backpack and tried to unzip it to put the note inside. As Baekhyun grabbed his arm, trying to stop him, his efforts futile against the much bigger man they both began to laugh. "Take it. Please. Buy stuff to do with them, activities, you know... I would buy the stuff myself but in case you haven't noticed I don't have a clue what I'm doing with them." Chanyeol implored.

Chanyeol's eyes took on that faraway look, that look that meant he was thinking about the past, and a future that never existed. Baekhyun remembered that Chanyeol still hadn't spoken about her. He had to pretend not to know. But he put his hand on Chanyeol's arm and smiled at the melancholy man as he gave it a little squeeze. "They love you very much. And they're amazing little boys. You must be doing something right." And as Chanyeol looked down into Baekhyun's deep chocolate eyes for some reason he believed him. For the first time in five years he felt like he was doing something right.

 

As the sun dipped below the tree line and the breeze grew cool it was time to go home. As Chanyeol turned back towards his car he watched Baekhyun wall off in the direction of his house, a twin attached to each arm, his mood turned wistful. They looked so happy. A real family. Anyone would think it was a dutiful and adoring hyung walking his little brothers home. He didn't want to leave them. But he turned and walked to the less attractive option of driving his car. He should have finished earlier, brought the car home, got changed into something casual. But regrets were useless. He let it go.

By the time he pulled up in the car park he could see them walking up to the building. They all looked so happy. Baekhyun had an instinct, a natural charm, an affinity for children. He understood them, his instincts responded in the right way, his gentle voice held their attention. Chanyeol just waited as he watched them walk towards him. Taeyong said something which make Baekhyun laugh and his eyes sparkled with mirth. He leaned closer and said something which in turn made both twins dissolve into giggles.

Something sparked in Chanyeol's mind. Something ignited, something long forgotten flared into life as he watched the beautiful boy walk towards him. He hadn't felt something like this in a long time. The tingles of the spark travelled down his spine and around into his stomach where an elusive flutter formed. The flutter of excitement. Of anticipation, of attraction, of desire. Chanyeol's face flushed. As he stared at Baekhyun's wide and bright smile, his deep dark eyes, his soft hair blowing in the breeze he allowed his mind to wander to a place he had shut off.

They arrived in front of him too quickly. Chanyeol had to recover. He cleared his throat nervously. "I beat you guys here!" He forced the sentence out as he tried to sound bright and chirpy. "Of course Daddy. You had the car!" Taeyong laughed and Chanyeol blushed. Outwitted by his five year old.  Roasted even. He cringed. He laughed. "Ok. You win!" He looked from Baekhyun to the boys. Their faces were pink and ruddy from the walk in the cooling wind. He led them inside the building, up the elevator, and finally into the warm confines of home.

"Baekhyun is in charge." Chanyeol announced and plopped his large body down into an armchair. The boys put on some cartoons and Chanyeol took off his shoes and socks and put his feet up on the coffee table. He watched the boys play quietly in front of the tv while he heard Baekhyun fussing around in the kitchen. He closed his eyes ever so briefly and they shot open when he sensed the presence of Baekhyun close to him. With a wordless smile Baekhyun placed the mug of coffee down next to Chanyeol's feet that were still perched on the table. Embarrassed, Chanyeol quickly moved them, and by the time he turned to Baekhyun to thank him the boy was already walking back into the kitchen. His eyes lingered just a little too long as he watched him walk away.

Baekhyun ran the usual bath full of bubbles and Chanyeol watched him fold a basket of the boy's clothing while they splashed. Multi tasking. The kid's secret was out. Once the bath was done and the tv was back in the centre of attention Baekhyun busied himself in the kitchen. He quickly fried strips of steak and tossed in a few stir fried vegetables while a bowl of rice rotated in the microwave. Chanyeol noticed Jaehyun gravitate towards the kitchen while Taeyong clearly relished the time alone. _They're together too much. They need their own interests._ Chanyeol realised as he observed Taeyong engrossed in his tiny army men while Jaehyun perched on the bench watching Baekhyun cook.

The meal was simple but delicious. The four of them ate in mostly silence. Chanyeol noticed Baekhyun barely picked at a tiny plate. "Why aren't you eating?" Chanyeol questioned him quietly and carefully. Baekhyun's face went red. "I've been dying to try the new barbecue place down the road. I walk past it every night on the way home." Chanyeol's stomach sank. The kid had been waiting to get paid to treat himself, but here he was, cooking dinner for Chanyeol when he was clearly capable of doing it himself. He looked at his watch. It was 6pm.

"You can finish early if you want." Chanyeol said softly into his rice. "It's fine." Baekhyun's reply was too quick and too chirpy.

In his mind, where he was truthful with himself, Baekhyun wouldn't rather be anywhere else. His mind was mesmerised by the brooding man who was such a contradiction. He would see such pure unadulterated joy on Chanyeol's face and then a minute later it would slip back into melancholy. Sadness and fragility emanated from him like a rolling winter fog, enveloping him, surrounding him and suffocating him. And then that smile again, breaking through the sadness like sunlight through clouds, and Baekhyun would melt under it for just a moment.

The food was eaten, the scraps discarded, and Chanyeol insisted that Baekhyun leave the dishes. After one more cartoon it was bedtime and Chanyeol scooped Taeyong into his arms while Baekhyun managed a wiggling Jaehyun. Baekhyun tucked Jaehyun into his warm bed and picked up the book of fairy tales. He laid across the end of Jaehyun's bed while Chanyeol and Taeyong snuggled into the other. Baekhyun's gentle lilting voice soon filled the room with tales of princes and princesses and knights and heroes.

He lost himself in the story. He read through one after the other until he noticed Jaehyun had stopped wriggling. Baekhyun sat up and looked over at the other bed and the sight rendered his heart into a puddle. Chanyeol was asleep, Taeyong in his arms, the little boy's dark hair moving with the rise and fall of Chanyeol's chest. Baekhyun got up and pulled the covers up around Jaehyun and stroked his hair. He went over to the other bed and his breath caught in his chest as his crush spiralled further out of control. He patted Taeyong's dark locks and instinctively reached for Chanyeol's as well. His thumb barely brushed the man's forehead as he used one slim delicate finger to move a stray lock from Chanyeol's eyes.

"Goodnight Mr Park." He whispered as he turned the light off. He grabbed his backpack and locked the front o door behind him and headed out of the building in the direction of the barbecue restaurant with a soft smile playing across his lips.

 

_White walls, white floors, white lights. The squeak of plastic coated metal wheels. Metal beds and metal tools. He could see her, being wheeled away, her with his sons still safely incubated._

_He tried to go after her. He tried to run, to chase after them, they wouldn't let him in._

_The voice sounded so far away._

**_"I'm sorry Mr Park. We can't let you in."_ **

_Words meant nothing. Emergency surgery. Placental abruption, cesarean section, radical hysterectomy. None of these meant anything. He just wanted to know if she would live. If the babies would live._

_He knew if there was a choice she would give herself to save her babies._

_Cold floors, cold walls, cold faces. He waited. Time ticked on. Every minute could be her last. And one was._

**_"I'm sorry Mr Park. We did everything we could."_ **

_They led him into another cold white room. Why couldn't hospitals be warm places of comfort and consolation? Would that give people false hope?_

_"Do you want to see them?" He nodded through his tears._

_They were so small._

_He was their world, their everything, and he just lost his._

_He named them as she wished. They stayed in their little glass boxes for a week. Lights shone on them, food tubed into their stomachs, and soon they were as strong as they needed to be. A nurse showed him what to do. How to feed them, how to bath them, how to change them. She didn't teach him how to love them, how to raise them, how to comfort them._

_No one taught him how to be their father._

_He had all the stuff. The clothes and the blankets_ _and the toys. He wheeled them out of the hospital in their enormous pram, strapped them into their identical seats, and drove them straight to their mother's funeral._

_He endured it. It was sunny. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was so blue, as blue as his heart, as blue as the beautiful outfits he dressed his sons in. Her favorite colour was blue. He wore a blue tie. Her sons wore blue. Chanyeol despised blue._

_People stared. They murmured their sympathies. The babies cried and Chanyeol rocked their pram_ _and they didn't stop. They cried and he cried and he didn't care if people stared. He fumbled for bottles and comforters and when they lowered her into the ground he wanted to throw himself in with her._

_But when he looked from the red scrunched up face in his arms, to the howling wildling his sister clutched, he knew he had to go on._

_Blue skies, white walls, cold dark earth._   


Chanyeol sat up in a cold sweat. He was sick of it. They didn't come as often but the dreams still came. He sat bolt upright, confusion reigned, and he wondered where he was until he saw Taeyong sleeping next to him. He remembered.

The last thing he heard was the melodious, mesmerising lilt of Baekhyun's voice. He had felt so warm, so cozy and relaxed, he must have just nodded off. He looked at his watch. 2:47am. Chanyeol slipped carefully off the bed and out of the room. He found his phone on the bench and when he pressed it he had a notification. One message from Baekhyun.

_You looked so peaceful I couldn't bear to wake you. I got home safe. See you Monday_

As Chanyeol smiled to himself he felt something just out of reach. Something caught between a dream and a memory, a hazy ghost of a recollection, something barely tangible but yet burned into his memory like fire. As he leaned on the kitchen bench at 2:50am, his mind foggy from sleep, his phone in his hand he remembered. A barely there touch, light delicate fingers across his forehead, a whispered goodnight. Fire spread through his body. The warmest smile Chanyeol felt in years spread across his lips as he headed for his own bed.

Baekhyun sat back at the table, napkins surrounding his empty plate, satisfaction written across his soft features. The barbecue place was amazing. He absentmindedly rubbed his full belly and looked down at his shirt. He knew the white tshirt was a bad idea. His joyful laugh rang clear as he sat by himself in the restaurant covered in barbecue sauce. He paid his bill and left, still chuckling, and walked the short distance back to the dorms.

The dorm was silent. Sehun must be out. Probably a date. He'd been getting pretty friendly with an exchange student who had moved in to the dorm down the end of the hall. Baekhyun threw himself down on the bed and mentally processed his afternoon with the Parks. The boys were always a joy, even after a week he wasn't tired of their antics, their enthusiasm for everything he offered them. Chanyeol was still an enigma looming large in Baekhyun's consciousness. Baekhyun flushed pink when he remembered his boss, tall and broad and handsome, his shirt sleeves turned up to his elbows as he reclined in the grass. His handsome face drinking in the sun, his dark hair shining, his white business shirt revealing almost nothing and still a little too much as it clung to his biceps and hugged his slim waist.

Baekhyun rolled over and groaned as he pressed his growing erection into his mattress. Why did his boss have to be so hot? His breath hitched in his throat as he put his hand down his pants. He palmed at his erection frantically, gasping for breath, rolling his hips against his hand. His breathing became ragged as he jerked himself off harder, he ground his hips against the mattress, and a small moan escaped him as he came into his underwear. "What are you doing to me Mr Park?" He whispered to himself as he quickly jumped up and ran for the shower. As the hot water ran over him and washed away the evidence of his weakness he couldn't recover his senses. Chanyeol had invaded his mind. He couldn't shake free.

His other moment of weakness, brushing the hair on Chanyeol's forehead, rushed back into consciousness. He knew he wouldn't remember, he was asleep, but still he had to be more careful. He was onto such a good thing. He couldn't risk messing it up. If Chanyeol found out about his crush it would be the end of his job for sure.

Just as he was drifting off to sleep Sehun arrived home, pink cheeked and messy haired, his collar askew and his face sheepish. "How was your Friday night?" Baekhyun smirked from his bed as Sehun sat down. "Amazing. How was your Friday night?" Sehun replied. Baekhyun's gaze turned from smug to wistful. "Perfect." Was all he said as knowing words passed unspoken between them.

 

 

Days turned into weeks as they settled into a rhythm. Five days a week Chanyeol's life was almost perfect. He would work hard during the day, his mind sharper every day, his body stronger from the regular rest and decent meals. He would sleep longer and better during the night, his tormenting dreams subsiding, his need for a late night wine diminished. He almost felt like his old self again. He almost felt whole.

The boys were so much more enjoyable now they had a routine. On weekends Chanyeol would make sure to take them to the park so they could run off their energy. At home he would bath them, feed them, and herd them into bed. He read and read but it didn't quite have the same hypnotic effect that Baekhyun's voice did. But still, they would relent, and settle down for the night. And every time Chanyeol was able to sink into a comfy chair and put his feet up before 10pm he would silently thank whatever deity generously bestowed Baekhyun upon his life.

_Baekhyun_.

The kid who appeared in Chanyeol's life like a angel. He was like a walking, talking, living, breathing miracle. Chanyeol couldn't get him out of his brain. Everywhere he went in his house he was invaded by thoughts of the kid.

The kitchen where Baekhyun cooked meals and plated them up - leaving them in the fridge with little smiley face notes.

The couch where he shared an awkward conversation, sitting both way too close, while also too far away. The armchair where Baekhyun liked to sit which had begun to take on the sweet scent of Baekhyun's favourite shampoo.

The bathroom where Baekhyun bathed the boys and folded their clothes but was still too shy to fold Chanyeol's. And still apologetic about it.

The invitation had been sitting on his desk for ages. He turned it over in his hands as he looked at the clock. It was 3:27pm on a beautiful Monday afternoon and Chanyeol knew the boys would all be at the park running off their energy. He had been avoiding the invitation all week but he knew he had to accept. He called Kai into his office. "Call Yifan and RSVP for me. I'll go to the party." Kai raised an eyebrow. "One person or two?" Chanyeol leaned back in his chair. "Two."

Baekhyun was clattering away at his keyboard when the lock turned and the door swung open. He looked up to se Chanyeol walk in. He was dressed in a nice dark suit with a black shirt and grey tie. Baekhyun had sneaked a peek in his closet the other day just to marvel at the beautiful suits and crisp dress shirts and a whole drawer full of ties. Red, grey, purple, even green. No blue. Chanyeol never wore a blue tie.

As his tall boss strode towards him Baekhyun smiled his sunniest smile unselfconsciously. It was a reflex. He couldn't help it. He saved his document and looked at the clock. It was almost 8pm. "Did you have a good day?" Baekhyun tried to make conversation to cover his awkwardness. "Yeah." Chanyeol smiled. "You?" Baekhyun nodded as he packed up his laptop and Chanyeol wandered into the kitchen. As he headed for the door Chanyeol called out for him to wait. "I've got something to ask you. Something important." Baekhyun's breath caught in his chest as his handsome boss came out of the kitchen with his dinner in his hands.

"Are you free Friday night?" Chanyeol asked. Baekhyun gulped nervously and nodded. His eyes shone with a hidden expectation. "Excellent." Chanyeol smiled. "I've got a party, actually it's more like a work event, it's really important that I attend. You don't mind doing overtime do you?" Baekhyun's heart sank. He mustered his best sunny smile. "Sure thing Mr Park."   


He wandered home in the dark silently cursing himself. What was he expecting? That Chanyeol would ask him out? Was he really hoping that his totally straight and much older boss would ask him out on a date? _You're dreaming Baekhyun_. He shook his head as he chastised himself in the cool night air.

_You're onto a good thing here Baekhyun. Don't you dare fuck it up._

Even if Chanyeol wasn't straight he knew the age gap would be an issue. Chanyeol was a good guy, caring and responsible, and wouldn't like to seem like he was taking advantage of his young employee. How would Baekhyun be able to continue on, dating his boss, caring for his children? It would be too hard, too awkward, and way too weird.

As the crisp air burned the tips of his ears Baekhyun convinced himself that it would be best to get over his crush. No good could ever come of it. It would only cause drama, hurt and pain. And the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Chanyeol or the boys. They already had enough pain in their life.

Chanyeol warmed his dinner in the microwave. Baekhyun had made chicken and corn soup, one of Chanyeol's favorite meals, and he was delighted to see there was another bowl wrapped with a note on top.

**Lunch for tomorrow :-) I hope it tastes as good the day after!**

He carried the hot bowl to the table and spooned soup into his mouth. In his haste and impatience he burned his tongue but the soup was so good he didn't care. He opened his phone and scrolled through his contacts to find someone suitable to accompany him to the party. He decided to ask Seulgi. They had met a few weeks ago when she came to discuss a contract with Chanyeol's agency. He had come up with a great campaign for her jewelry line and she had slipped her phone number into his hand. She seemed nice. She would do. He would call her tomorrow and invite her.

Chanyeol finished the soup, got out the second bowl, and debated eating it right then but he knew he would appreciate it tomorrow in between the mountain paperwork he had piled up and all the phone calls he had to make. He slid the bowl back into the fridge and grabbed his phone. He sent the same text every night making sure Baekhyun got home safely. He couldn't relax until he got the reply. When Baekhyun responded that he was home safely Chanyeol crawled into his bed. He scrolled through his photos, smiling at the ones Baekhyun had sent him today, lingering on one from last week. Baekhyun and his boys perched in the fork of the tree. All three of them were smiling at the camera, sunlight filtered through the trees enhancing their natural glow, pure joy written across all three of their faces.

As Chanyeol dozed off, still clutching his phone in his hand, he drifted away into a world of peaceful slumber. His dreams were filled with sunlight and falling leaves, warm soup and cool sheets, and a melodiously ringing laughter that resonated through his entire being.   


Kai eyed his boss suspiciously. "What's that? It smells great." Chanyeol smiled into his bowl. "Soup. Chicken and corn. My favorite." "Did you make it?" Kai asked. He had never known Chanyeol to bring lunch in from home. He usually sent Kai out for something from a nearby takeaway place. If he even remembered to eat. The smile playing across Chanyeol's face was unmoving. "Baekhyun made it." He said softly.

Kai just walked out back to his desk. Chanyeol had been acting weird lately. Something was up with his boss. Smiling to himself, laughing at pictures on his phone, even his general demeanor around the office. The dark circles under his eyes had disappeared along with his short temper and snappy answers. Whatever it was it must be a good thing. Kai hoped it continued for everyone's sake.

 

Chanyeol had arrived home from work at 7pm on Friday and had arranged for Seulgi to meet him at 8pm. He rushed in to find the house a whirlwind of excitement. The smell of popcorn floated out of the kitchen and there were piles of blankets on the lounge room floor. "Daddy!" Jaehyun, dressed in his favorite Finding Nemo pyjamas, clung to Chanyeol's legs. "Baekhyun said we can have a movie night!" Chanyeol smiled and ruffled the little boys hair. Taeyong burst in from somewhere with his Finding Nemo pyjamas on as well. "Let me guess what you're watching." Chanyeol said as he freed his leg and headed for his room to get ready. "Finding Dory?" The boys jumped up and down with delight. Chanyeol kept meaning to take them to the movies when it came out but he had just run out of time. He had always let them down in the past but things were changing and his grasp on his life was stronger. He didn't want to let them down anymore.

Chanyeol showered and dressed in a fresh suit, black, with a white shirt and a dark grey tie. He inspected himself critically in the mirror and swapped out the grey for purple. It seemed more fun. He walked out to wait in the living area and was greeted with the sight of Baekhyun and the twins under piles of blankets on the couch. They had a huge bowl of popcorn and three big cups of apple juice complete with curly straws. A plate of cookies sat on the coffee table. They looked and smelled homemade. Chanyeol inhaled the aroma of sweet cookies and buttery popcorn and he wanted desperately to throw off his tie and shoes and crawl into the blankets with them. He didn't want to make small talk with business associates over cocktails. He wanted apple juice and Finding Dory and _damnit_ he wanted one of those sweet smelling cookies more than anything.

But adult responsibilities meant doing things you didn't want to do. "I better go." Chanyeol said as he tore himself away from the comfortable and comforting scene. "I don't want to keep Seulgi waiting. I'll try to be home before midnight." The boys barely looked up from the opening credits of Finding Dory. "Bye." Baekhyun called out as Chanyeol left. _Seulgi_. Baekhyun rolled the name around in his mind. Of course he had a date. His smile turned Baekhyun to water. Women must be throwing themselves at him every day. Baekhyun, thrown into a sudden pit of misery, reached for the plate and took three cookies. As he stuffed one in his mouth, then the other, he considered the third. He got up from the couch and put it in a ziplock bag to save it for Chanyeol. He saw him staring at the plate. Baekhyun decided that if Chanyeol came home alone he could have the cookie. If that woman came home with him Baekhyun would eat it himself while he walked back to the dorms.

He returned to the couch, squashed himself in between the boys, and tried to put this woman out of his mind. With the mention of the name Seulgi images of a tall and beautiful woman filled his thoughts. He conjured mental pictures of a dark haired woman in a sexy red dress clinging to Chanyeol's muscular arm, throwing back her head to laugh as he made an awkward joke, smiling at him with shining eyes. The perfect companion to accompany him as he made casual conversation with his business associates. Baekhyun thought he had his crush under control but as he tried to watch the movie all he could feel was a quietly simmering jealousy.

Chanyeol made obligatory small talk with some people he knew while Seulgi stood at the bar with a friend from her work. He eased the conversation with yet another cocktail. Number two or three? He wasn't sure. Looking over at Seulgi he wasn't even sure why he asked her. It would have been easier to come alone. But he knew that if he went through the motions of bringing a date then people would be less likely to make sad faces behind his back. Their pity annoyed him. The fact that he cared what people thought annoyed him. If he wasn't trying to pull his advertising agency out of the dirt he wouldn't care so much.

He leaned back on the wall while he drank his sweet alcoholic drink. For some reason he felt like he really needed it tonight. Seulgi was a mistake. Her dark hair and dark eyes only raised painful memories. She was too much like _her_. Baekhyun wasn't like her at all. He was just as beautiful and just as sweet but his dark hair and dark eyes were different, like a blank page, like starting over. Like a fresh new beginning. Chanyeol wondered what his boys were doing. They would be asleep, soothed into submission by Baekhyun's addictive voice, their bellies full of Baekhyun's sweet homemade cookies. They were so lucky. Chanyeol sighed and quickly drank the rest of the strong drink and tried to pretend he wouldn't rather be at home. Seulgi seemed sweet and his cocktail was sweet but they just left a sickly taste in his mouth. He craved a different kind of sweetness.

Once again needing a distraction he wandered back over to Seulgi, now talking to Kai, and chatted with her. She feigned a bland interest when he gushed about his boys, their cute faces and their adorable nature, and their energetic joy. "Energetic all right." Kai interjected and rolled his eyes. Chanyeol ordered another cocktail and took a big sip. It warmed him from the inside out and he grinned at Seulgi and Kai. "Let me show you a picture of them." He grabbed his phone out and opened the photo gallery to his favourite photo. He flashed the photo of the twins and Baekhyun perched in the fork of the tree. "Who's that?" Seulgi pointed to Baekhyun. "Oh. That's Baekhyun. He's my nanny." Seulgi looked to Kai and giggled. "A boy nanny? That's..... unusual." She looked at the picture again. "Imagine looking after someone else's kids all day for a job." Her pretty face scrunched up in distaste and suddenly she didn't look so pretty any more. Kai stole a peek at the photo. "You didn't tell me he was so hot! Chanyeol give me his number! Please!" Kai made puppy eyes at Chanyeol without realising his mistake. A suddenly burning jealousy filled Chanyeol's stomach like a rolling thunderstorm.

Chanyeol snatched the phone away out of his vision. "He's the best nanny I've ever had." Chanyeol suddenly felt protective. He felt like he had to defend Baekhyun when Seulgi hadn't even really said anything that bad. And Kai's reputation for going through boyfriends was well known. He would never let Kai get his hands on him. "Baekhyun's amazing!" He said, his eyes shining through the glaze of the alcohol. "He's so happy and fun. And he can cook. And he's sweet. Too sweet for you." His words were slurred as he glared at Kai. He turned away from them to lean on the bar and regain his balance and his bearings on the situation. He was drunk, tired and sick of being here. He just wanted to leave.

Chanyeol smiled to himself as he thought of Baekhyun in his kitchen baking cookies while Jaehyun perched on the bench and Taeyong played on the floor. "He's so sweet and pretty." Chanyeol said, maybe to Seulgi and Kai, maybe to himself as he sculled the rest of what he was sure was cocktail number five. Or seven? His legs felt suddenly and strangely heavy and he looked at his watch. 11:24pm. "Bye." He said to Seulgi. "Maybe I'll call you sometime." He stared Kai down before he turned to leave. His legs felt unsteady as he headed for the exit not even bothering to humour their reactions. He was drunk. Too drunk to care. Too drunk to pretend anymore. He just wanted to go home.

 

As soon as the cold night air hit Chanyeol's face he knew it. He was wasted. He hailed a cab, gave the driver his address, and sank back into the seat. He hoped he would be able to sober up by the time he got home but the longer the cab ride went for the worse he felt.

He got out of the cab and tossed the driver a $50 and headed into his building. The ride in the elevator went on way too long. Especially when he pressed the wrong numbers and went all the way up to the 30th floor instead of the 13th floor. He finally made it out of the elevator and wandered along the corridor until he found his apartment. Keys mystified him as he turned them over in his hands. He tried one after another in the lock before sinking to the ground. He knocked at the door. "Baekhyun." He called out as he banged on the door. As the door swung open he fell back a little and looked up to see Baekhyun's face frowning down at him. Baekhyun's angelic face. But he was frowning. Chanyeol had been hoping for his beautiful, beaming, sweet smile. He had been craving it all night.   


Baekhyun sighed deeply at the sight of his boss sprawled on the floor. "Mr Park are you ok? Can you get up?" He asked. Chanyeol nodded and Baekhyun held his hand out and the tall man grabbed it and rose unsteadily to his feet. "Let's get you inside." He said as he dragged Chanyeol into the apartment.

"Baekhyun." Chanyeol smiled as he said the word. He gripped Baekhyun's hand tightly and stumbled as the small man led him inside and pushed him onto the couch. "Are they asleep? My babies? My precious and beautiful babies?" Chanyeol slurred and closed his eyes. Baekhyun had to chuckle. His boss, the stuffy and awkward and oh so professional Mr Park, was absolutely shit drunk. "How was your party?" Baekhyun called out from the kitchen as he searched the medicine cupboard for supplies. "Ah man. It was shit. So many boring people!" Chanyeol rolled his eyes. "I drank waaaaaaay too much." He giggled as he flopped down horizontally on the couch and put his feet up in the air. "How was Finding Dory?" Baekhyun laughed to himself in the kitchen as he found the dissolvable vitamins he was looking for. He grabbed two painkillers and filled a tall glass with ice water and filled a water bottle as well. "It was good." He said as he returned from the kitchen. "The boys loved it. They might be tired tomorrow. I let them stay up until 9:30."

Baekhyun put the supplies down on the coffee table, dropped the vitamin into the glass of water, and leaned over Chanyeol to see if he was awake. When the giant opened his eyes and grinned at him unexpectedly Baekhyun jumped back a bit. He went to the other end of the couch and began to unlace Chanyeol's shoes. He threw one and then the other onto the floor. When he was done he looked up to see Chanyeol staring at him. "Why are you so good to me Baekhyun?" Chanyeol mumbled almost incoherently. "It's my job." Baekhyun smiled softly at him and wished with every bone in his body that he could tell him the truth.

_It's because I'm falling in love with you_

Chanyeol's head was swimming. He felt Baekhyun remove his shoes. It felt so good. He looked up and mumbled something at him. Words. He was having trouble making sense of them. Both his and Baekhyun's. But Baekhyun was smiling so his words must have been okay. He felt his body being pushed up and a tall glass of something cold and brightly coloured placed in his hands. "No thanks." He said. "I've already had about ten of these." He began to put it down when Baekhyun's eyes filled his vision. "Drink it. You'll thank me in the morning." _I'd like to thank you right now._ Chanyeol laughed at his own cheeky thought but he didn't verbalise it. Instead he sculled the cold fruity liquid and beamed at Baekhyun. Baekhyun leaned in close, his beautiful face coming dangerously close, and Chanyeol held his breath in anticipation. But his stomach sank when he realised the boy was just loosening his tie for him.

Baekhyun loosened Chanyeol's tie and slipped it over his head. "You need to sleep." He said. "I need a cookie." Chanyeol whined like a child. "I've been thinking about your cookies all night." Baekhyun went into the kitchen and came back with the saved cookie. When he saw it Chanyeol's eyes lit up. "Cookie! You saved me one!" He said excitedly and reached out for it but when Baekhyun placed it into his hand he just stared at it. Baekhyun rolled his eyes again and desperately hoped Chanyeol wouldn't remember this in the morning. He took the cookie back and snapped off a small piece. "Open up." He said and when Chanyeol opened his mouth Baekhyun fed him the cookie.

Finally. Chanyeol finally got the sweetness he had been craving. He closed his eyes as he chewed blissfully and never wanted to open them again. When the cookie was gone he opened his mouth again in hope and was rewarded. The sweet vanilla crumbs stuck to his lips as he chewed and he felt something soft swipe across his lower lip. He opened his eyes and saw Baekhyun's heavenly features dangerously close to his again. Baekhyun's hand was still resting on his face and Chanyeol wished with all his heart that this wasn't just an alcohol soaked dream. He closed his eyes and held his breath and desperately hoped to feel soft lips pressed against his. But when they never came he opened his eyes again to find Baekhyun standing further away. "Time for bed." Baekhyun said, frowning, and pulled him to his feet. "Only if you're coming with me." Chanyeol mumbled as he let Baekhyun pull him onto his feet.

Baekhyun had been caught in a moment of weakness. He hoped Chanyeol wouldn't remember him leaning in and wiping his crumbs with his thumb. He allowed his hand to linger, stroking Chanyeol's soft cheek, before panicking and pulling away. He helped the tall man to his feet as he mumbled something incoherent and led him to his bedroom. He directed Chanyeol towards his bed. He really thought he should help him get undressed but he also knew that would expose all the weaknesses of his raging crush. Removing any of his clothing would be Baekhyun's undoing.

He laid Chanyeol's stumbling drunk body on top of the bed and put the painkillers and the water bottle on the bedside table. "Goodnight Mr Park." He said quietly and wistfully as he backed out and turned the light off. "Don't walk." Chanyeol called out. "Get a cab. Take money from my wallet." Baekhyun just laughed as he left the apartment. Drunk Chanyeol was really something else. He hoped he would be able to see this again sometime.

 

 

 

_What the fuck happened last night?_

Chanyeol heard noises coming from the living room. He tried to sit up but his head pounded and swam and he felt dizzy. He rubbed his temples and saw the painkillers next to the bed with the water. He couldn't remember coming home but he knew who would have put them there. He tossed the pills into his mouth and drank half the water bottle. He wanted to lay back down but the twins were up and must be up to no good because they hadn't come in to wake him.

Chanyeol was in his own bed fully clothed except for his shoes and tie. He had slept all night on top of the bed. He sighed with relief when he realised that at least, if nothing else, he hadn't taken his clothes off in front of Baekhyun.

He grabbed his phone and couldn't believe it was 8am. The twins usually woke him at 6:30. He had two unread messages.

One from Seulgi:

_'Just making sure you made it home. You were pretty wasted.'_

One from Baekhyun:

_'I know you wanted me to get a cab but I walked anyway. Got home safely. See you Monday.'_

Chanyeol's memories were seeping in hazily. He remembered coming home in a cab. He remembered Baekhyun helping him with his shoes. He remembered being so happy when he finally got the cookie he had been thinking about all night. That deliciously sweet cookie. He couldn't even really remember what it tasted like. He had wanted it so bad and when he finally got it it seemed to just slip through his grasp.

He had a weird feeling something else slipped though his grasp as well.

He took a chance on the quietness and went into the shower. He emerged feeling better. The painkiller and the water had helped. So had the warming and hydrating shower. Dressed in a pair of track pants and a comfy tshirt Chanyeol finally faced the living area.

"Hi Daddy." Jaehyun smiled up at Chanyeol from the couch. He was happily drawing a picture and Taeyong was playing with a racing car set. "Why didn't you guys wake me up?" Chanyeol asked as he sank onto the couch and the boys abandoned their activities to climb onto him. "Baekhyun said you would be tired. He said to let you have a little sleep." Taeyong squeezed Chanyeol's cheeks while he spoke. "Yeah! He left us these for breakfast." Chanyeol noticed the breakfast bars and empty juice boxes that Jaehyun was pointing at.

Chanyeol squeezed his eyes closed. Baekhyun really thought of everything.

As he tried to steal a moment of rest he sensed him looming. He opened his eyes to find Jaehyun leaning over his face. "Daddy. Why don't you cry anymore?" Jaehyun asked as he pulled at Chanyeol's ears. Chanyeol thought for a long time. Long enough for Jaehyun to get bored waiting for the answer. Finally he found the right words. "I still get sad. But I'm learning how to be happy again." Jaehyun smiled. "Is Baekhyun teaching you how to stop being sad? Because I asked him to. He's really good at teaching stuff." Chanyeol was stunned by the innocent wisdom of his little boy. He pulled him close and hugged him until Jaehyun squealed for release, attracting the attention of Taeyong, and soon all three were in a laughing mess.

Baekhyun got out of the shower to find Sehun awake and watching him from his bed. "So. How was Daddy last night?" Baekhyun cringed. "Drunk, Sehun, he was drunk. Hammered. And I almost kissed him." Baekhyun groaned and flopped on his bed. Sehun began to laugh. "Really? Why didn't you?" Baekhyun's face emerged from his pillow. "What. Do you want like a list?

  1. He's my boss. 2. He's fifteen years older than me. 3. He was drunk. 4. He's straight. 5. He's still obsessed with his dead wife. 6. This is the best job I've ever had and I can't fuck it up. 7. Even if none of those other things applied why would he want me anyway?"



At the thought of crush on Chanyeol Baekhyun groaned again. "Sehun. If I tell you something promise not to laugh. Ok?" Sehun stared him down. "I will make no such promises." Baekhyun took a deep breath and spilled anyway. "I've never kissed anyone Sehun. Never." Sehun began to laugh, realised he was serious, and stopped. "For real?" He asked. "Yeah. For real." Baekhyun's face returned to its hidden state in the pillow.

"So does that mean you're a virgin as well?" Sehun probed for more information. "Yes." Baekhyun mumbled through the cloth. Sehun breathed out deep. "Wow. Yeah lucky you didn't kiss him." Sehun said.

Later that day they went out for bubble tea. Baekhyun really wanted to treat Sehun now he was making some money and they had nothing better to do on a Saturday. The sunlight blessed their faces as they laughed and joked, arm in arm, and crossed the park to the cafe.

Chanyeol was already in his sweats so he decided to use Baekhyun's tricks. "Want to go to the park?" He asked the boys who stared at him in shock before jumping up and down. "Yay! Park with Daddy!" Jaehyun squealed. "Can Baekhyun come with us?" Taeyong asked and Chanyeol shook his head. "No sweetie. It's his day off." Taeyong pouted and Chanyeol wanted too as well. Nothing would make him happier than to watch Baekhyun running across the grass in the sun, wind in his hair, laughter trailing behind him like dust. But he paid Baekhyun to be there and it was his day off. Chanyeol shook the boy out of his mind for the millionth time that day, laced his sneakers, and headed to the park with two excited five year olds.

As their delighted shrieks filled the air Chanyeol's head pounded. The painkillers were wearing off. They had been out in the sun for an hour, the kite holding their attention for a while, then a soccer ball, and now the swings. The sun was rising and it was almost time to head home. Chanyeol hoped that some of Baekhyun's magic would work for him and that the boys would be easy to manage now they had expended their energy outside. Just when he was about to call them off the playground he heard a familiar sound. It was high and clear and rang in his ears like little crystal bells. It was unmistakeable. It was Baekhyun's laugh.

Chanyeol turned excitedly in the direction of the sound and his heart sank. He furrowed his brow at the sight which stirred up confusing feelings in his chest and his stomach and his mind. Baekhyun was strolling across the park arm in arm with a handsome boy who was tall and dark and looked about the same age as him. The tall boy was saying something which obviously delighted Baekhyun, he clung tighter to his arm and laughed again, and Chanyeol quickly turned away.

Chanyeol had always wondered how a boy like Baekhyun, with his stunning looks and angelic personality, didn't have a girlfriend. He had a boyfriend. Of course. It made perfect sense. And a tall boyfriend too, dark and good looking, and obviously funny. Tears pricked at Chanyeol's eyes and he quickly shook them away. Confused, sad, and hungover, Chanyeol called the boys off the playground. He began to panic. He needed to go home. He couldn't be there when they came out of the cafe.

 

After a nice afternoon out, mostly filled with happy talk of the boy Sehun had been taking out, and sad talk of Baekhyun's situation, they returned to the dorms. "Date again tonight?" Baekhyun asked as Sehun checked his phone. Sehun smiled and nodded and Baekhyun was pleased. He liked Sehun and he was a lot less serious since he started dating the Chinese exchange student. Baekhyun decided he wanted to meet him.

He rolled over on his bed and waited while his laptop, struggling more than ever, fired up slowly. Baekhyun had an assignment to complete and then he was going to eat his body weight in the sweet pastries he bought home from the bubble tea cafe. He had so many emotions boiling inside him. He couldn't get rid of his sinking jealousy. Baekhyun wondered if Seulgi was at Chanyeol's now, meeting the twins, having dinner or just coffee. Was she his girlfriend? How long had they been seeing each other. Chanyeol hadn't ever mentioned her before. Why would he? He was Baekhyun's employer. Why would he discuss his private life with him?

Chanyeol hadn't brought her home that night though. Maybe that was just because he was so drunk but didn't she care enough to at least look after him? And why was he so drunk? He was a grown man. He should know better.

What was Baekhyun expecting anyway? Tall and handsome widower falls in love with his young nanny? Sad single father finds love again and they all end up as one happy family? It sounded like the plot of a sad and romantic but impossibly far fetched movie.

Baekhyun tried to push all these questions out of his mind. He typed away, spilling crumbs from the pastry all over his bed and keyboard, finally finishing his assignment. He scrolled through Netflix, choosing something romantic and sad. Just like me, he thought, romantic and sad. Baekhyun curled up under his blankets and tried to focus on his movie but he felt an unshakeable loneliness that just wouldn't go away. Sehun had a boyfriend now and Chanyeol had Seulgi. And he had no one but sweet carbs and Netflix.

Chanyeol was still pacing the house. The boys had behaved, although they had asked for Baekhyun again at dinner, pushing Chanyeol over the edge. Chanyeol had lost his patience when Taeyong had complained about the stir fry and said he liked Baekhyun's better. He just wanted to get Baekhyun off his mind and the boys weren't helping. When he finally got them into bed he lay on the couch still nursing his hangover a little. Chanyeol wondered how Baekhyun's date was going. If it was still going. It would be. How could anyone walk away from Baekhyun? He imagined Baekhyun laying back on his bed in his dorm, the other boy hovering over him, his cheeks flushed and his hair messy. He imagined the other boy putting his hands and his lips and his tongue on Baekhyun's creamy white skin, Baekhyun twisting underneath him in pleasure, and a sudden jealousy rage inside him. Envy, desire, and something else. Chanyeol was hard. _Shit_. He swore under his breath as he tried to deal with the fact that he just got an erection over imagining Baekhyun with his boyfriend.

Chanyeol wondered if he could call him. What excuse could he make up? He searched his mind for any excuse to call Baekhyun and interrupt his date. As he grabbed his phone he suddenly sat back. He felt disgusted with himself. Getting an erection over Baekhyun? Sweet, innocent, angelic Baekhyun? _You're a creepy piece of shit Chanyeol_. What did he think would happen if he did call Baekhyun? Did he really think that his beautiful 18 year old nanny would abandon his equally beautiful young boyfriend and come running to him? A 33 year old single Dad? A sad lonely widower with a struggling business and twin boys?

Chanyeol tried to rub his headache away. He had let himself get too carried away with Baekhyun. He felt so stupid. Mistaking Baekhyun doing his job for feelings and emotions. His smile, his laughter, his joy. It was all just part of him doing his job well. None of it was for Chanyeol's benefit. Baekhyun's true joy was for that tall handsome boy who was making him laugh in the sun.

Since when was Chanyeol into guys anyway? He wasn't. He was into Baekhyun. He was hopelessly into him. He couldn't get him out of his mind. His smile, his laugh, even just his presence was healing. The last few months had made Chanyeol feel whole again, like a real person, like he was finally moving on. Chanyeol didn't feel so alone anymore.

He stood up and stretched his hungover body and headed to bed. He laid awake and stared at the roof in the darkness. Usually darkness consumed him quickly but as tired as he was he just couldn't fall asleep. He decided that he had to go back to being completely professional when it came to Baekhyun. The creepy boss situation had to be gone. He had to let him go from his heart as soon as he let him in there.  


As Baekhyun tidied up the kitchen on Monday night he heard the key in the lock. He waited with baited breath for Chanyeol to walk in. He knew he had almost crossed the line Friday night but hopefully Chanyeol didn't remember. He hoped everything would be normal. He was disappointed when Chanyeol came in and barely gave him a smile. "Thanks for your hard work today." Was all Chanyeol said to him. Baekhyun packed his laptop into his backpack and left as quickly as he could. The cold feeling he got from Chanyeol made him uneasy. Something had changed between them and it wasn't for the better. He wandered along the dark street, sadness overwhelming him, cursing himself for his lack of self control. Why did he have to mess things up? Caressing his cheek, thinking about kissing him, when Chanyeol was thinking about kissing someone else.

As soon as the door closed behind him Chanyeol allowed himself to breathe. He felt horrible. He had been professional towards Baekhyun, pleasant without being over friendly, and thanked him for doing a good job. It killed him. There was no radiant smile, no gentle laughter, or warm gaze from sparkling dark irises. Chanyeol didn't even feel sad, he didn't feel sorry, he just felt empty. He opened the fridge to find a freshly plated chicken salad for his dinner and three packed lunch boxes. As he stared at the note on his plate, complete with smiley face, the floodgates finally opened. Chanyeol burst into tears.

Baekhyun walked quickly in the darkness. He had walked this path many times between Chanyeol's apartment and the university dorms. He wandered past the barbecue restaurant and ducked into the convenience store. He decided he was going to be eating his feelings again tonight. He carefully selected four chocolate bars and took them to the counter to pay. He unzipped his backpack and rifled through it looking for his wallet. As he opened it he breathed a sigh of relief. Baekhyun didn't like to carry too much cash but that meant that he was quite often caught without it.

He paid for his chocolates and put three in his backpack. The fourth one he unwrapped to eat on the way home. He never noticed the man who followed him from the store. As he shoved the chocolate into his mouth he cursed Chanyeol silently. The guy was making him fat. His jeans definitely felt tighter across his thighs. He finished the chocolate bar and turned the corner towards the university. As he stepped away from the streetlight and into the darkness he never heard the man come up behind him. The blow to his head was quick and hard. Everything spun as he realised what was happening. He felt the cold hard concrete of the gutter bite the back of his head before it all went black and Baekhyun was knocked out cold.

 

"Oh my God!" Sehun cried out as he ran into the hospital ward and spotted his friend in the bed. "Baek. I'm so glad you're okay!" He ran into the room and pulled the boy into his arms. A police officer with a notebook was standing by the bed. "Sorry." Sehun nodded at the officer who resumed his questioning.

"So Mr Byun, you didn't see or hear anyone?" Baekhyun shook his head. "It was dark. I didn't see anyone." Sehun held his hand while two big tears rolled down his cheeks. He closed his eyes. He felt sick. He described his walk home from Chanyeol's, a walk he had made many times, his detour into the convenience store. He had been assaulted and left unconscious on the cold concrete road until a passerby discovered his limp body. His laptop was gone. They didn't take his wallet, just the money out of it, which wasn't much. The police fingerprinted his belongings but the officer said the odds of catching the criminal were slim.

Finally the police officer left. "I have to stay in here." Baekhyun told Sehun. "They need to observe me for concussion for at least 24 hours." He showed Sehun the back of his head where he had six stitches surrounded by dried and crusted blood. "I was so scared Sehun. And the worst part is I've lost my laptop now and there's no way I can afford another one." Sehun rubbed his back as Baekhyun's tears turned into quiet sobs. "I'll come past in the morning and bring you some stuff. Some clothes and stuff. Ok?" Sehun soothed as Baekhyun nodded. He was tired and dizzy and as he laid back on the hard hospital pillow he fell asleep immediately. He didn't even see Sehun leave.

Chanyeol carried his packed lunch into his office even though he felt like he didn't deserve it. Baekhyun played on his mind all night. _I'll apologise. I'll explain. I'll make things go back to normal._ Chanyeol thought as he inspected the contents of the lunch box and slipped a piece of chicken into his mouth. "What do you have today? Cookies?" Kai said with a laugh as he stood in the doorway. "What?" Chanyeol said as he looked up from the food. "Friday night. When you got wasted and spent all night going on about your pretty little nanny who bakes the sweetest cookies. Remember?" Kai said grinning.

He walked in close to Chanyeol's desk and looked in the lunchbox. "That looks great." Kai said. "I've had a lot of boyfriends and no one's ever made me a lunch that nice." Chanyeol rolled his eyes. "And how many of them were your employees Kai?" Kai laughed again. "And where in his job description does it specify packing you delicious healthy lunches?" Kai reached in and picked up the little note that said ** _'have a great day :-)'_** and chuckled. "Cute."

Chanyeol grabbed the note back and snapped the lid lunchbox shut. "He's just a nice person. He does things like this all the time." He got up to go put the lunch away in the refrigerator but Kai was on a roll. "You like him don't you?" He chuckled. It made sense. The change in Chanyeol's demeanor over the last few months had been remarkable. "No." Chanyeol retorted. "So why do you keep looking at that photo of him on your phone?" Kai was chuckling away, impressed with his detective skills, it was all falling into place. "It's a photo of my sons Kai." Chanyeol was getting irritated. "Yeah well you have heaps of photos of them without him. If you really don't like him then give me his number." Chanyeol rolled his eyes and was about to walk out when he felt his phone ringing in his pocket.

He put down the lunchbox and grabbed it out to see it was Baekhyun calling. "Hello Baekhyun?" He said as Kai slinked out of the office still laughing. "Mr Park, I can't come to work today, I'm so sorry to let you down." Baekhyun's voice sounded shaky and small. "What happened? Are you okay?" Something was wrong. Chanyeol began to panic. "Well, no not really, I was assaulted and robbed last night walking home. I'm okay but I'm in the hospital." "What hospital?" Chanyeol demanded. When Baekhyun told him he just hung up.

"Cancel all my appointments for the day Kai. I have to leave." He said on his way out of the office as he threw his coat over his shoulders.

He ran all the way into the hospital from the car park. As he rounded the corner and into the ward he saw him standing there in the corridor. The boyfriend. He was even more handsome up close. He was tall and impressively good looking. Chanyeol was too worried to care. "I'm Park Chanyeol." He held out his hand to the boy as he marched authoritatively towards the room. The boy shook it and introduced himself. "I'm Oh Sehun. I was just leaving anyway. He's in there." Sehun indicated a half closed door.

Chanyeol pushed the door open and barged into the room. He was slightly breathless and shaky, from nerves, from his rush to get to Baekhyun's side. Baekhyun looked so small on the bed and Chanyeol held his breath at the sight. "Are you okay?" He said as his emotions took over. He rushed to the bed and sat down and instinctively held his arms out and Baekhyun fell into them. Chanyeol felt his tiny body shake as he began to cry again. "I was so scared. Mr Park, they stole my laptop, and some money. He hit me on the back of the head." His body heaved as he cried. Chanyeol wrapped his arms tighter around the sobbing boy. "Hey. It's okay. You're okay." Chanyeol tried to soothe him and Baekhyun stopped and pulled back from his embrace. His face was red and he looked away from Chanyeol's eyes. "I've told you before I don't want you walking home alone. Okay? No more." Baekhyun nodded as he swallowed thickly. "Maybe from now on your boyfriend will come and pick you up after work?" Chanyeol suggested as he dropped his eyes to the floor.

"My boyfriend?" Baekhyun looked confused. "Um, yeah, Sehun, I just met him outside. And I saw you guys together at the cafe near the park." Baekhyun began to giggle through his tears. "He's not my boyfriend. He's my dorm roommate." As a strange sense of relief washed over Chanyeol as Baekhyun began to cry again. "I don't have anyone else. He's my only friend in the city." His body shook and Chanyeol's instincts fought his common sense as he took him into his arms again. "I'm alone, Mr Park, I had no one else to call. I only have Sehun. And you." His tiny fists clutched at Chanyeol's jacket as he cried and cried. "I'm so alone. And scared. And lonely." Chanyeol's heart broke for him. He wanted to protect him from all the pain in the world. He pulled the beautiful boy closer, armoring him with his own body, wanting to shield his heart from any sort of suffering. He had to protect him. He had to hold on and never let him go.

 

As Chanyeol sat on the white hospital bed, surrounded by white walls and white floors, he realised he never wanted this moment to end. He held the most beautiful creature on earth in his arms and it was perfect. The site of his ruining, the cold hospital scene from his nightmares, had somehow become the perfect setting for a perfect moment. He squeezed Baekhyun closer and stroked his hair. He was careful to avoid the sore spot on the back of his head where Baekhyun's skin had been carefully stitched closed. He inhaled the scent of Baekhyun's sweet smell combined with the medicinal aromas of the hospital and his heart skipped a beat.

Baekhyun felt like he was dreaming. Maybe he did have a concussion and he was going to wake up to find this was nothing but a sweet and fleeting hallucination. He decided to take a risk. He had to take a chance. If it went well then great. If it didn't he could blame it on the head injury. He pulled away from Chanyeol's embrace and looked into his eyes. "Mr Park, I have to tell you something, and I understand if you want to fire me after. But if I don't confess then I don't know how much longer I can stay working for you anyway." He took a deep breath as he searched Chanyeol's eyes for a glimmer of understanding, a hint of understanding, but he only saw confusion.

Baekhyun reached up and stroked Chanyeol's face. "I'm sorry Mr Park. But I think I'm falling in love with you." He held his breath as he waited for a reaction. Chanyeol just stared at him. "Mr Park?" Baekhyun said. "Chanyeol. Not Mr Park. Call me Chanyeol." Was all he said. "Ok. Chanyeol." Baekhyun liked the way it sounded coming out of his mouth and as he broke out into a bright smile he saw Chanyeol lean in.

He closed his eyes just in time to feel the velvety soft lips of Chanyeol's pressed against his own.

Baekhyun's first kiss was perfect. It was everything he wanted it to be. Chanyeol held him gently, one hand on his waist and one behind his neck, and their mouths moved in sync like they were made for each other.  Baekhyun's hands fluttered nervously like a pair of little butterflies as they searched for somewhere to land. He decided on the biceps he had been staring at for weeks and as his hands stroked Chanyeol's strong and muscular arms his lips grew even more insistent.

Chanyeol held tightly to Baekhyun to make sure he was real. Kissing him, moving their lips together, feeling the shape of Baekhyun's waist under his hand was like a dream. It wasn't a mistake. It wasn't weird or wrong. It was right. He moved deeper into the kiss, and parted his lips, and his tongue escaped and searched for Baekhyun's.

Baekhyun's eyes shot open in surprise when he felt Chanyeol's tongue in his mouth. It felt strange but good and he closed his eyes again and relaxed into the feeling. His own tongue was shy but Chanyeol's was insistent and traced every inch inside Baekhyun's mouth. His hands moved and searched for places to enjoy and as the two men kissed on the tiny hospital bed they soon became breathless.

Chanyeol broke the kiss and gasped for oxygen. He stared at Baekhyun, flushed and rosy, and so beautiful. Emotions flooded through his body and tears filled his eyes. He reached out and stroked Baekhyun's face, his smooth skin soft, his cheeks tinted pink. His dark hair and dark eyes shone under the harsh glare of the white hospital light. He looked like he was glowing.

"Baekhyun. Before this goes any further I need to tell you something. I need to tell you about my wife." Baekhyun reached out and squeezed his huge hand. He twined his own delicate fingers in Chanyeol's and the wedding ring flashed as his hand turned over. "I know." Baekhyun said quietly. "The boys already told me."

Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun into his body again. "Can you be with someone who can't quite let go of the past? Can you be patient with me?" Chanyeol whispered. Baekhyun nodded into his chest. If Chanyeol still needed more time then Baekhyun would give him all the time in the world.

Chanyeol stayed on the hospital bed, holding Baekhyun gently like a preciously won prize, until time demanded he left. He had to get the boys from school. When he saw the time he got up reluctantly and grabbed his things. "Can I come back for a little while? With the boys?" He asked as he stroked Baekhyun's hand. "Please do." Baekhyun said. "They'll cheer me up." As he watched Chanyeol walk out he laid back on the bed with a sigh. It was like a dream. His fingers went to his lips as he thought about kissing Chanyeol. It was a perfect first kiss. But they would have to talk about things, work out how they were going to move forward, there was no going back from this.

He heard them before he saw them. The thunderous feet of two little boys were tearing down the corridor. "Slow down." Baekhyun stifled a giggle when he heard Chanyeol trying to chastise them. He heard them slow down when they became unsure of the right room. But when Chanyeol swung the door open they burst into the room like little firecrackers. "Hey Baekhyun." Jaehyun tossed a huge bunch of roses at him unceremoniously and climbed up onto the bed. "Daddy said a bully hit you in the head. When I get bullies at school I just get Taeyong to help me." The little boy squished his cheeks and grinned. Baekhyun grinned back at him. "That's a great idea. I bet no one messes with the Park twins."

Taeyong hung back, suddenly shy, and Baekhyun could see him holding a box. He smiled at the little boy who came slowly towards the bed. "Daddy said the bully stole your laptop." He said with tears in his eyes. He put the box on the bed and climbed into Baekhyun's lap. Baekhyun held him tight. "That's true. But I'm okay. So don't be scared or sad. I'm going to be fine." He patted the dark stringy hair covering Taeyong's head and Jaehyun pushed him to the side so he could share Baekhyun's lap.

Baekhyun snuggled them in close and then when they'd had enough they climbed down. "Is this what I think it is?" Baekhyun eyed the box suspiciously as Chanyeol grinned. "Open it and find out." Baekhyun tore open the box to reveal a brand new laptop. "The guy at the shop said it was the best one. It even has a touchscreen." Chanyeol felt shy as well and blushed. Baekhyun laughed to himself. He could see where Taeyong got it from. "I don't know if I can accept this." Baekhyun said but Chanyeol shook his head and pushed it closer to him. "I never should have accepted you walking home every night. It's the least I can do." His eyes pleaded silently and Baekhyun relented and opened the box.

Chanyeol sat next to Baekhyun on the bed and cautiously stroked his arm. He wanted to hold him again but not in front of the boys. Not yet anyway. They had a lot to work out. But as his hands quietly stole the sweet touch of Baekhyun's skin, and his boys crowded onto the bed in the light of the brand new glowing screen, Chanyeol couldn't imagine anything that would ever feel better than this moment.

 

It was cold in the hospital room. Cold and white and silent. Baekhyun had trouble sleeping. He couldn't lay on his back because his head hurt. He rolled onto his stomach and stretched out his legs and tried to will himself into slumber.

What was he going to do?

He was so happy he felt like he could just float out of the bed. His first kiss had been more than he ever could have imagined and he knew it was good because it left him wanting more. But how could they move forward? What were Chanyeol's intentions? Forget it ever happened? Start dating? Find a new nanny? That would break Baekhyun's heart.

He loved those little boys. They had squealed and shouted and climbed their way into his heart. If this all fell apart he would lose this job, he would lose them and they would lose him too. Could he put this family through another loss?

Would Chanyeol offer him something worth taking a risk for?

He honestly had no idea.

As his lids eventually grew heavy he soothed himself with the thought of being held tightly in Chanyeol's strong arms. He felt invincible in them, they were like armour, like he could reside within them and be safe from everything. The only thing he wasn't safe from was Chanyeol himself. It made him excited, giddy with anticipation, but nervous.

Chanyeol had brought his boys home from the hospital and tried to settle them down. Taeyong was still rambling on about the best ways to take down bullies in the schoolyard. "Daddy, can you make Baekhyun go to learn Hapkido?" Chanyeol shook his head as he coaxed them into the bathroom. "No Taeyong I can't do that." Chanyeol ran the tub full of bubbles. "Daddy you have to save him next time." Jaehyun said as he stared into Chanyeol's soul. Chanyeol looked away. He was right. Again. Jaehyun always knew just how to get to the core of what Chanyeol was feeling.

Once they were bathed and endless stories were read they finally settled. Chanyeol poured himself a cup of coffee. He probably wouldn't sleep much anyway. Finally alone, finally able to think, to process his feelings. What was he going to do. He couldn't just let Baekhyun come back to work like nothing had happened. He didn't want that anyway. He wanted to try to make it work. He wanted to make Baekhyun his.

Jaehyun had been right when he said Chanyeol wasn't sad anymore. He hadn't forgotten her. On the contrary, he still thought of her, just as much as ever. How could he not when every time he looked at his fierce little tiger Taeyong her eyes blinked up at him. But his sense of loneliness, his pain and sadness and raw grief, had been replaced by a warm nostalgia instead.

At night he no longer dreaded falling asleep. His warm bed had transformed into a place of relaxed daydreams, of lingering thoughts, of dappled sun and crystalline laughter. Where he used to only see the cold sterile past he now imagined a future filled with sunny trips to the park and lazy mornings under heavy blankets. He wanted all those things so badly. He imagined warm cookies and cold winters by the beach, impromptu soccer matches, stealing kisses in the kitchen while the boys played in the living room. Chanyeol wanted it all.

How would people react? His family, his business associates, his sons?

_What about the boys?_

They loved Baekhyun. They asked for him constantly. He had become so ingrained in their existence that he was already like a part of the family. Would it be so crazy to want that as well? To want Baekhyun for himself and also for them? It felt like they already were a family.

As Chanyeol finally drifted off he sat up with a start. He suddenly felt constricted, uncomfortable, like something was strangling him slowly. He itched and fidgeted and finally worked out what it was. Chanyeol slipped off his wedding ring and put it on the bedside cupboard before sinking heavily into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning be called into the office. "I'm not staying long." He called out to Kai as he walked past him and into his office and closed the door. He sank into his large leather office chair and opened his emails. He had won another two large contracts. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he considered the state of his company. He quickly cleared his emails and checked his letters. Nothing seemed urgent and he only had one meeting booked which could be conducted by phone. He packed up just as quick as he had arrived.

"Kai. I'll be out of the office for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I'll be back as per usual. Can you book an appointment for tomorrow with my personal accountant?" Kai nodded. "Is everything ok?" He asked as he stared at Chanyeol's intense expression. "Kind of. Baekhyun was assaulted and robbed on the way home from my apartment." Chanyol said quietly as he leaned closer. "He's ok but....." "But what?" Kai probed. "What did you do?" Kai stifled a chuckle. Something had changed. He could tell. "Nothing." Chanyeol closed himself off immediately. "I just need today to sort out some things." He turned and left immediately and headed for the hospital.

When he arrived he rushed to the room to find Baekhyun sitting up on the bed. Sehun was seated in the armchair in the corner. "Hey!" Baekhyun was pleased to see him. "Hey." Chanyeol said. He smiled at Baekhyun as Sehun stood up. "I'll leave you guys alone." He said as he moved towards the door. "Thanks for the breakfast Sehun. See you later!" Baekhyun's sunny smile was back and it was out in full force. It make Chanyeol weak.

"When can you leave?" Chanyeol asked as he sat nervously on the edge of the bed. "After I see the doctor." Baekhyun replied. "Are you going home to the dorm? Because I came here to see if you wanted me to drive you. Or maybe, if you wanted to come home with me, you know, so someone could keep an eye on you...." Chanyeol's nerves had overtaken his body. He didn't know what Baekhyun was thinking, if he wanted to kiss him again or if he wanted to run a mile. He felt so awkward. He closed his eyes to try and hide some of his struggle but when he opened them he found himself awash in a sea of chocolate irises. They sparkled like tiny galaxies as Baekhyun smiled at him. "I want to come with you." His words were softly spoken and sweet. Chanyeol had never heard anything sweeter.

 

"I can walk just fine Mr Park!" Baekhyun's laughter was right on the edge of his lips. He realised his mistake when Chanyeol looked down at him in dismay. "Chanyeol. Sorry." A pink blush crossed his cheeks. Chanyeol's expression quickly softened. He loosened his grip on Baekhyun's elbow as they entered the apartment.

"Sit." Chanyeol directed him to the couch. He sat next to him, just close enough to feel awkward but not close enough to feel intimate, and stared at him. Baekhyun. Perfect. Angelic. Exquisite. And he didn't know what to do with him. He folded his hands in his lap and racked his brain trying to find the words. Not even just the right words. Any words.

_Say something Chanyeol. Anything._

"Ah.... Do you need a drink?" Chanyeol stammered out the words nervously. He looked down at his hands. Of all the things he wanted to ask Baekhyun and he was asking if he wanted a drink? He cleared his throat and tried again. "How do you feel?" He looked up from his hands with trepidation but Baekhyun's gentle eyes soothed him immediately. "Fine. Normal. I'd love to wash my hair but I can't get the stitches wet." Baekhyun's hand ran instinctively through the flat mess of dark hair that usually sat so glossy against his forehead.

"Do you want me to do it for you?" Chanyeol asked quietly. His bravery astounded him. He never dreamed he would have the nerve to offer something so intimate but if Baekhyun needed something Chanyeol wanted to make it happen. "Would you? How would you even do that?" Baekhyun asked. Chanyeol thought about it. "Easy!" He said. "Come with me." He got up and, grabbing Baekhyun gently by the hand, led him into the bathroom.

Baekhyun knelt on the bathroom floor, his arms folded on the side of the bath, head bent over into the tub he had sat beside so many times. It smelled like fruity bubble bath. Chanyeol placed a towel over his shoulders and filled the jug he used to wash the boy's hair. He carefully covered Baekhyun's stitches with a dry washcloth as he poured warm water over Baekhyun's hair. He managed to avoid the wound successfully and put the jug down. As he gently lathered Baekhyun's soft dark hair with shampoo, meticulously washing the dried blood from the strands near the wound, he wanted to cry. He never dreamed he would be this close to Baekhyun. But their intimate moment was one caused by violence and fear. He still harbored a deep seated guilt over Baekhyun walking home alone.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing. Chanyeol's large fingers lathering the shampoo into his hair was an explosion in sensuality. How could something feel so good? He tried to quiet his mind as a bolt of electricity flowed from his head into his groin. He could feel the warmth of Chanyeol's body behind him as the other man leaned closer. As warm water flooded his scalp he felt like he could almost fall asleep. When Chanyeol began to massage conditioner into the lengths of his hair, pulling gently at the strands with his fingertips, a soft groan escaped his mouth. He couldn't help it. Baekhyun flushed bright red and hoped Chanyeol hadn't heard it.

But he had. The most sensual sound Chanyeol had ever heard wafted loose from Baekhyun's lips and straight into Chanyeol's ears. He felt an uncomfortable tightening in his stomach and willed himself not to get hard. He was already struggling as his chest pressed gently against Baekhyun's back. He covered the wound again and poured warm water through the soft dark locks. He ran his fingers through and felt the slick of a little retained conditioner so he rinsed again. Satisfied with his job well done Chanyeol brought the towel from Baekhyun's shoulders up to gently rub the water away. He was done but he didn't want to be. Their moment of intimacy was over. Finally, and with a sad resignation, he moved his body away. "I'm done." He breathed the words out heavily. Baekhyun turned to face him. "Thank you. It feels clean now."

The atmosphere was suffocating as the two men knelt facing each other on the bathroom floor. Two hearts, united in unresolved tension, held captive by this shared moment of anticipation. No one knew who moved first, who broke the stand off, who took the initiative. Neither cared as their lips met in a hot caress. Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun's tiny body close to him as his lips devoured the smaller man's. Still nervous, Chanyeol's body was overwhelming his mind, making his urgency insistent. His tongue escaped into Baekhyun's mouth and searched for resistance and when it found response he melted. Chanyeol melted into another world where only two people existed and nothing mattered but their beautiful convergence.

Baekhyun ran his hands down Chanyeol's arms, feeling the smooth hills and valleys of his prominent muscles, taking every inch into consideration. The sensuality of the moment overwhelmed him, emboldened him, and he found himself desperate to get even closer. He ran his hands down Chanyeol's chest and gripped his waist, pulling closer, deepening their kiss. His hair dropped wet spots on Chanyeol's white shirt, like softly falling rain, drying quickly with the heat between them.

As Baekhyun pushed closer to his body Chanyeol felt himself brought to the fine line between in and out of control. He slowed the kiss and brought its gentleness back. As he softened the movement of their lips he stroked Baekhyun's cheek and pulled away.

"Baekhyun. I really want to do this right. Please." He sighed deeply. He feared rejection but found only approval in Baekhyun's beautiful eyes. Baekhyun nodded and fell against his chest. It had to be right. Everything did. There was too much at stake to be behaving recklessly.   


 

 

"Daddy!" Jaehyun cried out as he ran out of the classroom. "And Baekhyun!" He jumped towards the younger man but Chanyeol quickly took his hand and slowed him down. "Remember Jae, Baekhyun still isn't feeling well, we're supposed to be looking after him not jumping all over him." Jaehyun looked suitably chastised and frowned when Taeyong made a face at him. Taeyong bounded excitedly besides them as they walked out of the school. "Are we going to the park today?" He asked when he took notice of Chanyeol's casual attire. "Do you want to?" He smiled down at the expectant faces of the two little boys.

When they reached the park the two boys took off like a pair of little uncaged birds. As they flew towards the playground, their school bags abandoned on the grass, they never noticed the two most important people in their life had walked the whole way with their hands gently entwined.

 

"You look happy this morning." Kai's teasing was becoming bolder every day. "I am." Chanyeol responded expressionless, heading into his office, closing the door behind him. He sat heavily in the chair and closed his eyes. Last night had been perfect. They had played in the park and then Chanyeol had taken them to the barbecue restaurant that Baekhyun loved. They ate until they couldn't move. Jaehyun and Taeyong had covered themselves in sauce and after bubble baths and endless bedtime stories they drifted off into sleep. The solution to Baekhyun going home was easy. He didn't. He slept on the pull out trundle bed in between the twins and walked home to the dorms in the morning. But it wasn't a long term fix and Chanyeol had only two ideas.

"Your accountant is here." Kai phoned into his office and Chanyeol responded for him to come in. The man sat across from Chanyeol after shaking his hand. "Chanyeol your finances have significantly improved in the last six months." The accountant looked over the new contracts and thought carefully. "Just tell me something. Can I afford these two things?" Chanyeol pushed the piece of paper over. The accountant looked over the page and nodded. "Of course. I know you're conservative with your money Chanyeol, and I'd never tell you that's a bad thing, but you're in a much better financial position than you think. Live a little." He smiled and got up from the chair.   


Baekhyun crossed the campus in the early morning light. It was cool and he shivered a little even through the giant sweater he had borrowed from Chanyeol. When he reached his dorm and turned the key he expected to find Sehun getting ready for the day ahead. But he walked in and came eye to eye with a stranger. A boy, doe eyed and soft featured and beautiful, sat on Sehun's bed. "Hi." He jumped up and offered his hand. "I'm Luhan." Baekhyun smiled and shook his hand. "I'm Baekhyun. I've heard a lot about you."

They made awkward small talk until Sehun emerged from the bathroom. "I see you two have finally met." He said. "Yep. My turn for the shower though." Baekhyun slipped into the bathroom to give them a moment alone. He wound a towel around his head to keep his stitches dry before stepping under the warm water. When he emerged, dressed and ready for the day, Sehun was alone.

"Good night?" Baekhyun smirked at his friend. Sehun flushed red. "Yeah, well, when you said you weren't coming home, I kind of took advantage of the room to myself." Sehun shuffled awkwardly. "What about you? Have a good night?" Baekhyun frowned as he packed his spare backpack. "It was nice. We ate out at the barbecue place near the park and I slept on the spare bed in the boys' room." Sehun began to laugh. "Shut up!" Baekhyun tossed a pillow at him in indignation. "It's complicated!" He ran his fingers over the shiny top of his new laptop as he packed it carefully into the bag. "Is it though?" Sehun asked. "Or are you both using that as an excuse?" Baekhyun just sighed. "Well it's not me. I confessed to him. I told him I was falling in love with him. He hasn't said anything about how he feels." Suddenly overwhelmed by the situation Baekhyun sank into his bed.

Why? Why hadn't Chanyeol said anything? He didn't know what the man was thinking. Did he want to make something out of it? Did he even want to try? Or was the kiss on the bathroom floor just another lapse in judgement. But it didn't feel like it. It felt warm and delicious and so sweet. And so did walking to the park, hand in hand, with the boys exuberant energy surrounding them. Nothing had ever made Baekhyun feel that way. It was incredible.

Sehun was wrong. It was complicated. Chanyeol had the twins to consider and they were the most important thing. They couldn't let their adult feelings affect the lives of those two little boys. It wasn't fair on them. They had already been through so much.

As he got up and headed towards the door he had a feeling in his stomach that he had missed something. Something about their touch, their entwined hands, the way Chanyeol's fingers ran through his hair so loving and gentle. Something was different. Something had changed.

Baekhyun strolled across the campus to an early lecture. The wind blew his shiny hair away from his forehead. It had never been shinier and he made a mental note to take notice of the shampoo Chanyeol used. The icy breeze surprised him and he pulled his hands inside the sleeves of Chanyeol's soft grey sweater. He called past the coffee van parked in the courtyard and found a few notes in his pocket. With Chanyeol's way too big sweater surrounding his tiny body and a hot coffee in his hand Baekhyun felt like the luckiest man on earth.

He chose a seat at the back of the lecture theatre for his Ethics class. Ethics. The irony. He wondered what the lecturer would say about the ethics of falling in love with your boss. He opened his backpack and took out the new laptop and smiled in satisfaction as it quickly and silently fired into life. As he pulled his hands out of the too long sleeves and reached for his coffee it dawned on him. His hand. Chanyeol's hand was missing its wedding ring. Chanyeol's hand was bare and he hadn't noticed. When had he taken it off? And what did it mean?

He tried to concentrate on the lecture but his mind wandered aimlessly. Was this an indication that Chanyeol was ready to move on? They really needed to talk. Away from the boys, away from hospitals and doctors, and away from interruptions. But how?

Chanyeol had worked hard and he wanted to leave early. He had organised a lot of things today, feeling the glow of self satisfaction, and he had one more stop to organise something before he went home. "I'm leaving for the day." He said to Kai. "I've got things to do. See you tomorrow." As he waved on his way out the bare ring finger didn't escape Kai's observation. He smiled to himself as he went back to his work.

 

Chanyeol turned the key in the lock and swung the door open. He could hear the quiet chatter of the two little boys that he loved. And the melodic lilting voice of the man he loved as well. He knew where they would be and he was right.

"Daddy." Taeyong reached his arms out towards the doorway of the bedroom when Chanyeol's tall and broad body filled it. Jaehyun was almost asleep but still blessed Chanyeol with a soft smile. Chanyeol kissed the forehead of each one in turn and wordlessly left Baekhyun to work his magic.

When they were asleep Baekhyun found Chanyeol making coffee. "We need to talk." Chanyeol said as he handed Baekhyun a mug. "I know." Was the response as they headed for the couch. Tension still hung between them, trepidation and fear and a lingering threat of rejection, emotions weighing heavily on both sides.

Chanyeol went first. "So you don't go walking around by yourself anymore at night I've bought a car for you to use. I know you will make a fuss about it but I'm not arguing with you. It's yours to use as long as you have this job. Ok?" Chanyeol shifted nervously. "But I've just realised I don't even know if you can drive or have a license." Baekhyun chuckled a little to himself. "I do have a license. I've been driving on the family farm since I was 12." Chanyeol relaxed. "So will you use it?" Baekhyun smiled. "If it will make you happy." His fierce independence had been dented by the attack. He used to feel invincible. Now he felt a new vulnerability. Chanyeol swooned when he said yes. He was so relieved and so happy. He stared into Baekhyun's eyes, so full of promise and potential, so lacking of any expectation, shining in the light of the living room.

Baekhyun's turn to speak had arrived. It was his time to be brave. "I know you must be feeling something between us. I know that because we've kissed twice. But, Chanyeol, I cant risk this all for nothing. I love those little boys and I can't imagine having to walk out of their life over our failures." He took a deep breath and steadied his shaking voice as tears filled his eyes. "I need to know that you want me for more than a few quickly stolen kisses. I meant it when I confessed to you in the hospital. I'm falling in love with you real fast. Too fast. And I'm scared, I'm scared everything will be ruined, I'm so scared it's all going to fall apart. But mostly I'm scared that you don't feel the same way Chanyeol."

Chanyeol's head spun with confusion. He was scared? That he didn't feel the same way? A cold sweat washed over him as he frantically tried to remember actually telling Baekhyun how he felt. He realised he hadn't. He had let this beautiful boy, stunning in his ethereal glow, confess his heart without a response. He felt so stupid. "I'm so sorry Baekhyun. I'm such an idiot." He reached out and tangled his fingers in Baekhyun's soft hair. "I'm so in love with you. I haven't stopped thinking about you for a minute since you came into my life."

The gap between them closed into oblivion. Baekhyun's hands, yearning for more than cloth, sought out Chanyeol's bare skin. He found Chanyeol's neck and caressed his cheek as their lips met in a heated kiss. Baekhyun ran his fingers through Chanyeol's silky hair, feeling each individual strand, gently moving the hair back from his forehead. His tongue had lost its shyness and it roamed Chanyeol's mouth, searching and exploring, making Chanyeol moan into the kiss. Baekhyun had been so thoughtful, so careful, considering every possible ramification of every single action. But tonight he threw caution to the wind as he abandoned his conscience. The heat of his love, burning bright in its reciprocation, roared through his body like wildfire.

Chanyeol found Baekhyun's tongue in his mouth and soon after the boy was on his lap. Baekhyun's hands were everywhere, they were in his hair and on his face, they roamed his chest and searched for opportunity. Chanyeol was tired of holding back. He wanted Baekhyun, his heart and his mind and his body, he wanted it all. He moaned into the kiss unselfconsciously and pulled Baekhyun closer to his body. He felt heat overtake him. It was like he was on fire. His body felt fevered, sweaty, he wanted to tear all his clothes off to get some cool relief.

Baekhyun felt wild. He straddled Chanyeol's hips and, without breaking their kiss, began to unbutton Chanyeol's shirt. He just wanted to feel skin on skin. He couldn't think of anything else but naked flesh pressed together. His inexperience was barely a distraction as Chanyeol's lips broke free and roamed down his neck to his collarbone. He had never experienced such blatantly wanton desire. His hands slipped inside Chanyeol's unbuttoned shirt and found the disappointment of an undershirt. He groaned audibly in frustration, it was enough to make Chanyeol giggle, and he dissolved into laughter as well.

Once again they had gotten carried away in the moment. "We can't do this here." Chanyeol whispered huskily into Baekhyun's ear. It make him shiver as goosebumps sprang up all over his body. "Or now." Baekhyun replied with a soft giggle. "What if the boys wake up?" Chanyeol relented but he wrapped his arms around Baekhyun's tiny body still resting on top of his. He buried his face into his neck and inhaled, drawing in as much of Baekhyun's scent as he could, imprinting this feeling into his memory.

"Actually, before we got carried away, I had something else I wanted to ask you. Ah..." Chanyeol's nerve was phasing in and out. He summoned all his internal fortitude. "I've rented a cabin for a week. It's the week after next. The school holidays." Baekhyun grinned. "That's great. The boys will be so happy to get out of the city!" Chanyeol fell into Baekhyun's smile and had to pull himself out. "Well. I was hoping you would come. Not to work." He quickly clarified. "I thought it would be a great opportunity to give us a chance. The two of us and the four of us. A chance to see if we can make it work." Chanyeol relaxed as Baekhyun, still spread across his lap, snuggled his face into his chest. "I'd really like that." He said softly into Chanyeol's rumpled and half undone shirt. "So would I." He said as he pressed his lips into Baekhyun's soft hair.

 

The drive started out fun but became arduous. Jaehyun and Taeyong has eaten most of their snacks and smushed the rest into the car seat. Taeyong's iPad was flat so he decided that his only option for fun was to throw gummi bears at Jaehyun's head. Jaehyun was trying to watch cartoons but had begun to complain of car sickness. Chanyeol had a headache. There was still an hour to go.

"Why don't you stop here and take a break." Baekhyun said as they neared a parking bay. "I just want to get there." Chanyeol said, exasperation building, remembering every reason why he didn't do things like this with the boys. It was too hard. But when Baekhyun put his hand on Chanyeol's arm, and gave him a look that silently said so much, he remembered that things had changed. It wasn't his battle to fight alone anymore.

He pulled into the parking bay and Baekhyun jumped out and released the boys. He wanted out of the car as much as they did and he produced a frisbee from somewhere. He tossed it away from the direction of the road and they ran screaming in a race to be the one to get it first.

Chanyeol leaned back on the car. His ears were soothed by the quiet and his eyes were on Baekhyun. He had to laugh as he watched him run, endless energy pouring out of him, the air filled with the sound of his sons joy. The boys squealed with the excitement of freedom as Baekhyun chased them around the grass. He spotted something in the distance and called them over. Chanyeol watched him point in the direction of a field and the boys jumped up and down. As they walked off in that direction, one twin clinging to each of Baekhyun hands, Chanyeol couldn't believe how perfect the scene was. There was only one thing missing. Him.

He ran at a jog to catch up with them and took Jaehyun's little hand in his. He caught Baekhyun's gentle smile as they walked towards the fence. "Cows!" Taeyong's excitement was palpable. He stood on the bottom rung of the fence and leaned over to get a better view. "Quick Jaehyun! There's baby cows!" Chanyeol lifted Jaehyun onto the fence and his face lit up with delight. Baekhyun wondered if he would ever be able to take them to his family farm. The boys would love it. They were such city kids, obvious by their fascination with the cows, and they would love the constant noise and open space of his family home. But for the first time Baekhyun considered how his family would react. He imagined himself showing up home with, not just a boyfriend, but a whole ready made family.

He shook the thought out of his head. He didn't care. Farm life was over for him and if they wouldn't accept him being with Chanyeol then he just wouldn't go back. Love was love, as long as it was between two people who respected each other and were gentle with each other, then gender and age shouldn't matter. Baekhyun looked sideways at Chanyeol and scooted closer to him. As he leaned on the fence he felt a strong arm around his waist. Baekhyun leaned his head against Chanyeol's shoulder and closed his eyes for a brief second. The fresh cool air filled his lungs as he breathed deeply. "We should get going." Chanyeol murmured softly and Baekhyun nodded. He opened his eyes and lifted Jaehyun down from the fence. Taeyong untangled himself from the rails of the fence and the four walked slowly back to their car.

The break had renewed them all. Jaehyun fell asleep and Taeyong took the opportunity to steal his iPad. Chanyeol drove, enjoying the silence, enjoying Baekhyun's hand on his leg. The last week had been dotted with moments of casual affection between the two men, Nothing earth shattering or passionate, a few chaste kisses and hugs. The boys either hadn't noticed or didn't think it was worth mentioning. This week would be a turning point, a make or break test, a chance to see what things could be like for them all.

As they turned off the main road and headed down a dirt track Baekhyun's excitement began to build. He craned his neck, looking at everything his eyes could take in, and he turned to Chanyeol flushed with excitement. In that moment Chanyeol was reminded of how young he really was. His maturity and his intelligence belied his true age but his youthful exuberance betrayed it. He looked so fresh and so vulnerable and for a brief moment Chanyeol felt guilty about his intentions for this little holiday.

He wanted to treat the boys, give them a chance to escape the concrete jungle, let them roam free for a while. He wanted to test the waters of this new relationship that was between the two of them, but also the four of them, and see how it could be for them all. But more than anything Chanyeol wanted to make Baekhyun his in every sense of the word. He didn't want to have to control himself. He was sick of saying 'not here' and 'not now' and 'we need to wait'. He was sick of holding back.

He booked this cabin especially because it had two downstairs bedrooms and one upstairs main bedroom complete with its own bathroom and balcony. They would be free from the close quarters of his apartment. To his own dismay and embarrassment, out of necessity he had to go to Kai, he needed advice and guidance. It had been Kai's great delight to tell him everything he needed to know. But now, in the heated blush of the afternoon sun, Baekhyun's innocence was beguiling. His beauty was just bursting with fresh dewy youth and Chanyeol felt guilt sinking into the pit of his stomach.

Was he really going to be able to do this? Was he going to be able to put his hands and his mouth on Baekhyun's body? Could he really demand all his secrets, beg him to expose his vulnerabilities, could he really kiss him and touch him and ruin him? He wasn't sure.

They pulled up out the front of the cabin. A thicket of trees surrounded a clear and still lake complete with its own little dock. The cabin was beautiful, like something out of a holiday greeting card, the only thing missing was a shake of new fallen snow. As the boys ran excitedly around the back of the cabin Baekhyun called out for them to stay off the dock without an adult.

As soon as they disappeared around the corner Baekhyun's self control wavered. He gripped Chanyeol by the waist and craned up as high as he could to press their lips together. Chanyeol melted into the feeling and lost his fingers in Baekhyun's soft hair. As their kiss deepened and he ran his hands down Baekhyun's slim shapely figure any thoughts of holding back disappeared. He wanted him. He wanted Baekhyun, he wanted him desperately, sensuality and arousal flowed through his body like electricity.

Their eyes closed, their mouths moving against each other, their bodies drawing even closer. Everything else had faded into oblivion for the briefest of moments. As Chanyeol deepened the kiss and searched with his tongue Baekhyun moaned and pulled at his shirt. Just as they were pulling apart to catch their breath Taeyong rounded the corner. "Daddy! Baekhyun! Stop kissing and come see the boat!"

"Oh my God..." Chanyeol whispered as he went red right up to the tips of his ears. Baekhyun started laughing as Taeyong grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards the lake. He flashed a cheeky grin at Chanyeol who followed them in the direction of the water. Maybe they hadn't been as sneaky as they thought.

*****

The little campfire roared softly to itself as Jaehyun and Taeyong toasted marshmallows. Chanyeol had wanted to do it for them but Baekhyun insisted they do it themselves and with the help of some extra long sticks they were enjoying the treats without issue. Chanyeol warned them over and over to be careful and Baekhyun supervised them attentively but distantly. When the bag of sweet treats was gone the little boys laid on a rug on their backs and chattered about the stars sprinkled generously across the sky.

"I missed the stars." Baekhyun said softly as Chanyeol pulled him closer. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on Chanyeol's shoulder. It had been a perfect day. After they arrived and found rooms they had taken the boys for a walk in the woods. Birds and butterflies were found everywhere and their little eyes glowed with wonder. Chanyeol had barbecued and Baekhyun made a salad and they had eaten outside as the sun sank behind the distant hills. Now the day was over and the boys were about to be packed off to bed.

They went to bed without issue. Baekhyun read and read until their eyelids drooped and their little bodies, exhausted from excitement, finally gave out. Baekhyun slipped quietly out of their bedroom to find a nervous Chanyeol waiting for him. "Do you want to have a glass of wine?" He asked and Baekhyun nodded. He never usually drank. He was nervous too.

Although it was cold they took their wine out into the balcony. Chanyeol sipped his slowly as he admired Baekhyun in the moonlight. His soft facial features matched his beautiful personality perfectly. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Baekhyun said with a giggle when he caught Chanyeol watching him. "You're just perfect." Chanyeol said with a smile.

With their nerves heavily lubricated by the wine and the benefit of time they finally drew closer. Baekhyun leaned on the balcony rail and stared at the night sky. A million stars, a million possibilities, a million reasons to love Park Chanyeol. His heart was overwhelmed with the effort Chanyeol had gone through to make this perfect for them all. He turned towards him, ready for him, ready to give himself wholeheartedly.

Chanyeol took Baekhyun in his arms and held him tight. "Remember. No matter what happens. I'll never hurt you." Chanyeol's voice was barely a whisper. He led Baekhyun inside from the balcony and sat next to him on the bed. A part of him wished it was his bed, his room, his home where he was doing this. A small part of him was reminded that it wasn't his bed. It was her bed, her room, her home. No. Not anymore. It was time, he told himself, time to move on. Time to find a new happiness.

His mouth moved slowly onto Baekhyun's and as they kissed they moved closer. Chanyeol loved the feeling of Baekhyun pressed against him. The heat forming between their bodies, his broad and muscular, Baekhyun's slim and delicate, was searing. Chanyeol's tongue wandered and searched inside Baekhyun's mouth and found response. Baekhyun kissed him back, filled with passion, buoyed by a new confidence. As Chanyeol felt Baekhyun respond to his kiss his own arousal grew in intensity. There was no turning back, no excuses to be made, nothing stopping them.

Baekhyun's body was taking over his mind. He moaned into Chanyeol's kiss and let his hands roam. The chest, the arms, the body he had been hungering for was finally going to be all his. He felt wild arousal take over and desperation built inside him. He pulled at Chanyeol's shirt and when he lifted it over Chanyeol's head he gasped out loud. Chanyeol was perfect. Baekhyun's hands were everywhere, trying to meet every inch of Chanyeol's skin. He tipped his head back as Chanyeol began to work his mouth down his neck. It felt so good. It made him feel so alive and so wild. Chanyeol's mouth sucked at his skin, nibbling gently at his earlobe, working back down to his collarbone. He felt Chanyeol tugging at the neckline of his shirt and he moved quickly to pull it off over his head. Baekhyun wanted nothing between them. He was finally going to get the heat of skin on skin that he had been craving.

Chanyeol's nerves were washed away in a sea of arousal. His mouth worked to find any inch of Baekhyun to taste and it was all deliciously sweet. They were shirtless and breathless but it still wasn't enough. Chanyeol laid Baekhyun backwards on to the bed and moved on top of him. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He desperately hoped the answer would be yes. But he had to be sure. He had to give Baekhyun one more chance to back out. But Baekhyun just nodded and reached up to Chanyeol's jeans. He fumbled with the button before Chanyeol sat back and undid them and pulled them down. Baekhyun quickly worked the waistband of his own pants and by the time they resumed kissing both men were naked.

"I haven't done this in a very long time." Chanyeol's voice was heavy in Baekhyun's ear as his body rolled onto the smaller man. "I haven't done this ever." Baekhyun replied with a nervous smile. His face, already flushed pink, burned hot under Chanyeol's gaze. "For real?" Chanyeol couldn't hide his surprise. Baekhyun bit down on his bottom lip and nodded. Chanyeol couldn't believe it. This totally mesmerising, beautiful and sensual, and sexy man was untouched. If he had found out earlier he probably would have been reluctant, guilt and fear overtaking his senses, but he was already caught in the moment.

Freed from expectation he found a new bravery. Chanyeol's hands roamed Baekhyun's entire body, feeling the smooth skin of his chest, the sharp angels of his hip bones, finally reaching down to Baekhyun's dick. It was erect and felt hot in his hand. As he gripped it lightly Baekhyun let out a heavy moan which fuelled him with encouragement. Chanyeol threw his fears and misgivings aside as his body was overtaken by arousal. He wanted to do whatever it would take to make Baekhyun moan over and over, louder and harder, he wanted to make Baekhyun scream and shudder and call his name into the night.

As he jerked Baekhyun's dick harder he pressed his own against the soft skin of Baekhyun's thigh. "Can I have you Baekhyun? Please?" Baekhyun stared into his eyes and nodded. "Yes." He meant it. He was all his, his heart already belonged to Chanyeol, and his body would as well.

Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun harder than he ever had before. His lips were almost desperate in their need to be met. He tugged at Baekhyun's bottom lip with his teeth as his hands roamed Baekhyun's chest. He caught one stiffened nipple between his thumb and forefinger and squeezed gently. The response was instant and gratifying as Baekhyun moaned beneath him. Baekhyun's hands searched for Chanyeol's erection and he wrapped his hands tightly around it, feeling the fluid leaking from the tip, wondering what it would taste like. He wanted to know what it would feel like to take Chanyeol into his mouth and suck him until he cried out for mercy. "Chanyeol. Let me suck on you. Please..." He whispered and Chanyeol was only too quick to shift position.

With Chanyeol now on his back Baekhyun enjoyed his new position of power. He trailed his hot swollen lips down the smooth muscular chest of the man underneath him. He licked gently around his bellybutton, enjoying the trail of coarse hair below it, before taking the leaking tip of Chanyeol's erection into his mouth. He sucked in as much of Chanyeol as he could, his head moving up and down, his hand making up for what his lips couldn't reach. And the more Chanyeol responded, with heavy moans and throaty growls, the more Baekhyun enjoyed himself.

He brought Chanyeol to the edge, his tongue working fast, making the man writhe underneath him and beg for relief. When Baekhyun's efforts abated and he moved his lips back up to Chanyeol's he was wrapped quickly and tightly in two strong arms. "Are you ready?" Chanyeol whispered, Baekhyun nodded, his anticipation overriding his nerves. "Are you?" He whispered back and Chanyeol responded by rolling the smaller man over and devouring his neck. "I've never been more ready for anything." His hands roamed Baekhyun's smooth soft skin. It looked like vanilla cream and tasted even better.

Chanyeol got up from the bed and retuned with the little bottle that his advice had deemed essential. "I'll use a lot of this. It should help." He was nervous. He didn't want to hurt Baekhyun but it was almost inevitable. He opened the bottle and poured a generous amount into his hand. He gently massaged the cold liquid into the cleft of Baekhyun's ass, his large fingers moving slowly, softening and teasing his hole. He dipped his head and drew Baekhyun into a deep distracting kiss as he entered him with one finger. Baekhyun moaned into Chanyeol's mouth and bucked his hips in response. The tightly coiled tension in Chanyeol's body began to unwind as he saw the younger man respond to his touch with erotic pleasure.

Baekhyun relaxed his body and opened himself up to Chanyeol. His legs splayed wide, and his knees bent up, exposing him to Chanyeol in the most intimate of ways. The feeling of one finger, then two, was intrusive and stinging but not unpleasant. Baekhyun wanted Chanyeol, he wanted him on top of him and inside him, he wanted to give himself completely to the beautiful pain. He reached down and gripped Chanyeol's dick and pumped it in time with Chanyeol's own rhythmic actions. As Baekhyun began to relax and his tight hole began to loosen he found himself riding down on Chanyeol's fingers. "I'm ready." He said as he pulled at Chanyeol. He wanted him and he wanted him now.

Chanyeol moved on top of Baekhyun and settled between his legs. The little bottle was flipped open again as Chanyeol coated his erection generously in the cold viscosity. He held his breath as he made his entry as gently as he could, but Baekhyun just moaned loudly and grabbed at his hips, pulling Chanyeol deep inside his body. And when his entire length was buried deep inside the beauty underneath him Chanyeol finally let go. They were one. He thrust hard and slow, watching Baekhyun intently, pleased with his response. Baekhyun's back was arched to push his hips up high. His body was responding in force and Chanyeol released his tightly held tension.

He knew it would be over soon. It was just too good. As Chanyeol pounded harder and harder into Baekhyun's body he put his weight onto one arm so he could use the other. He jerked at Baekhyun's dick in time with his heavy thrusts and felt himself on the edge. "Is it good?" He breathed heavily into Baekhyun's ear. "Tell me it's good. Please." Baekhyun moaned and bucked his hips up to meet Chanyeol's body. "It's good Chanyeol." He gasped as Chanyeol's big hand engulfed his erection in heat. He felt the tightly wound tension inside his stomach unravel and he released his cum all over Chanyeol's hand with a shudder. His voice cried out loud as he came and he was silenced by Chanyeol's deep kiss. Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun, his tongue searching, his lips hungry for contact. As he broke the kiss he rested his forehead on Baekhyun's and found his own release in the last few thrusts. He panted heavily through his orgasm as he rode it hard into Baekhyun's body. And it was over.

Separating reluctantly, Chanyeol rolled off Baekhyun, pulling him into his arms as he moved. Their bodies were hot and coated in sweat, their bed a damp mess, their hearts unable to slow down. "I'm sorry." Chanyeol whispered into Baekhyun's skin as he began to devour his neck. "For what?" Baekhyun asked as his eyes glittered in the dim light. "For making you wait. For being so blind." Chanyeol nuzzled his nose against Baekhyun's ear. "For not telling you sooner how much I love you." Chanyeol drew him close to his chest and he knew in that moment that this was it for him. This was his new happiness. He finally found it.

 

The sunlight filtered in through the fluttering curtains as daytime broke into the room. Baekhyun's whole body felt stiff and sore and he groaned a little as he rolled over on the soft mattress. "Hey." The sweetest voice, thick and heavy with the morning, floated into his ears. A pair of strong arms wrapped around Baekhyun's naked body and pulled him close and he really felt like this was a perfect dream he never wanted to wake up from.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and buried his head into Chanyeol's chest. Just as he felt himself drifting off the door burst open and two terrors flew in wildly and landed on the bed. "Daddy! Fishing! You promised!" Jaehyun was on the bed, his excitement palpable, his hands going for Chanyeol's ears.

"Hey Baekhyun." Taeyong said as he climbed up the other side. "Did you have bad dreams?" Baekhyun opened his eyes and smiled at the little boy. "What makes you ask that?" Taeyong giggled as he rolled over onto his back and laid on the bed next to Baekhyun. "You're in here with Daddy. I thought you had bad dreams. I only get to sleep in Daddy's bed when I have bad dreams." Baekhyun gripped the blanket tight to his chest as he turned to look at Chanyeol who just shrugged. "Go downstairs and wait for us. No fishing until after breakfast. Ok?" Chanyeol tried to look stern but his heart was filled with joy. The boys raced out of the room and Baekhyun dissolved into giggles. He hid his face under the pillow as Chanyeol pulled him close again.

"How do you feel today?" Chanyeol asked as he squashed Baekhyun against his chest. "Wonderful." Baekhyun murmured quietly. "How do you feel?" He asked as he looked up into Chanyeol's dark eyes with hope. "Like a new man." Chanyeol replied with a quiet sincerity. He meant it. Last night had been a cleansing, a baptism of rebirth, a fresh new blank page. It was now their story to be written. The page had been turned.

Baekhyun showered and dressed and by the time he reached the kitchen Chanyeol had a feast of pancakes and fruit in production. Baekhyun took on the coffee duties while Chanyeol cut fruit and the boys pressed themselves at the windows desperate to get outside. "I didn't know you could cook." Baekhyun marvelled at Chanyeol's perfect pancakes piling up. He looked sideways and snatched one and shoved it in his mouth before Chanyeol could stop him. "I never said I couldn't. I just never have the time." He stared wistfully at the boys looking outside at freedom. "Well I didn't anyway. Things are changing." He tossed the last pancake out of the pan and onto the plate.

The stolen kiss in the kitchen Chanyeol had been imagining was swift and sweet. He drew Baekhyun towards him and as his lips bore down he inhaled sharply. The oxygen was never enough. Every time Chanyeol's lips melted into Baekhyun's he felt like he was drowning, awash in a sea of tenderness, as calm as the dark lake outside. His tongue explored slowly, almost lazily, the new familiarity between them ushering in a comfort that wasn't there before. His hands caressed slowly, moving over cloth, knowing every secret hidden underneath. It was over before it even began but it was enough. It would get him through.

Baekhyun baited hooks and laughed at the city boys who had never touched a mealworm in their life. Chanyeol just laughed too as he watched Baekhyun's competence on display again. He showed the twins how to cast their line into the black depths of the lake. "Now what?" Taeyong asked. "We wait." Baekhyun said. "How long for?" Jaehyun whined. Patience was a virtue not easily grasped by a five year old. The passage of time and enjoying a slower pace was best left to the adults. But Baekhyun's pride and joy at being outdoors and showing the boys a glimpse into his own childhood made him even more beautiful in Chanyeol's eyes.

Chanyeol loved nothing more than watching Baekhyun's easy and unpretentious capability. He was just good at life, he made living seem easy, like everything would just always be fine. He watched the natural interaction between Baekhyun and the twins. He instinctively knew what each one needed from him. Time, patience, a gentle smile or a stern word. It flowed so freely from him.

On the dock, in the quiet cool breeze, Chanyeol knew this was the right time. He moved over and sat between his boys as their little legs dangled over the sides. "Could you give us five minutes alone?" He looked at Baekhyun who smiled at him before he turned and walked away into the house.

"Boys. I want to talk to you about something very important. Ok?" Two sets of eyes, both so similar but yet so different, blinked up at him in wide eyed innocence. Chanyeol cleared his throat and continued. "You guys love Baekhyun right? I know he's very special to you both. And that makes me happy. It's hard to only have one parent especially when I'm busy with work and I want you to be happy when someone else is with you." The boys just stared at Chanyeol as they waited for him to get to the point. "I want to ask Baekhyun to come and live with us. Not as a nanny. As a family. I know having him around makes you both happy and he makes me happy too."

They boys continued to eye him quietly as they processed what he just said. "So like a new Mummy?" Jaehyun asked. "No, dummy, two Daddys. Baekhyun's a boy and a boy can't be a Mummy!" Taeyong hissed as he pushed his brother's shoulder. "Well they kiss like a Mummy and Daddy!" Jaehyun retorted as Taeyong laughed. "Yeah. And sleep in the same bed too!" Both boys were now in giggles. Chanyeol shook his head. This was not going how he imagined it at all. "No. Baekhyun is not going to be your new Mummy. Please don't call him that. Or Daddy. Just keep calling him Baekhyun."

He racked his brain for the right words. "But you're right. We have been kissing. I do love him the way Daddys love Mummys. But sometimes Daddys fall in love with another boy instead of a girl and that's ok. It's different and I'm scared but I have to be brave." Chanyeol didn't know if he was talking to the boys or to himself at this point. Taeyong kicked his legs as he stared at the end of the fishing pole but Jaehyun abandoned his and climbed into Chanyeol's lap. "Baekhyun told me the only time you can be brave is when you're scared." Chanyeol smiled and hugged the wise little soul on his lap. "Baekhyun's a smart man." He put one arm around Taeyong and held onto Jaehyun with the other. "Does this make sense to you guys?" He asked. Jaehyun nodded into Chanyeol's chest. Taeyong shrugged his shoulders and turned to Chanyeol. "Sure. You love Baekhyun and we love Baekhyun. So we want him to come to live with us."

Taeyong's innocent words hit Chanyeol hard. That's really how simple it was. He had to ask him. It was time. He looked up to see Baekhyun leaning on the porch of the cabin with a thermos in his hand. Chanyeol waved him over and he came back out to the dock. "I made some hot chocolate." Baekhyun poured out 4 plastic mugs and they all sat and drank in satisfied silence. "Baek. When we go home, they boys and I, we want you to come home with us. Do you want to come and live with us?" Baekhyun's eyes glittered with unshed tears as the boys looked up expectantly. "Yes. I'd love that." He said as Chanyeol put his arm around the small man's shoulder and the end of Taeyong's fishing rod twitched.

The road home was heavy and long with unanswered questions around every corner. Baekhyun wanted to live with Chanyeol. He wanted to live with the twins, he would be able to care for them as much as wanted, he would never have to leave them. But the whole situation was so confusing. How was he going to pay rent and have money without a job? The job he loved so dearly was being made obsolete by his own presence.

He sighed audibly and Chanyeol looked sideways at him. The twins were asleep in the backseat. They had the best time. So did Chanyeol. He couldn't believe Baekhyun had only been in his life for a matter of months. He didn't know how he had managed each day without him. The truth, he knew, was that he hadn't. He hadn't managed at all. He had willed himself though the empty motions of an vacant existence, putting one foot in front of the other, looking around but not seeing the world. And then Baekhyun came into his life and there was noise and colour and love again.

"What's with the sad noises over there?" Chanyeol said quietly. "Nothing." Baekhyun said. "Don't Baek. Be honest with me please." Baekhyun sighed. He hated taking about money. People who didn't have any usually did. But the concept of how money affects the dynamic and power of any relationship was something which couldn't be avoided. Baekhyun took a deep breath and spoke.

"Chanyeol. How is this going to work? Like when I live with you. I want to look after the boys because we're a family, not because it's my job, but if I don't have any money then I'm going to have to go out and get another job or I won't be able to pay you rent and buy food and pay for my phone and my textbooks, and then I won't be able to look after the boys because I'll be working, and then it's pointless." He sucked in a deep breath, expecting Chanyeol to be annoyed, but the big man just released a long laugh.

"What are you on about?" He chuckled away as Baekhyun furrowed his brow in confusion. "Why would you have no money? Baek, I'm still going to pay you, even if we are a family. And I'm not taking it back for rent. When we go grocery shopping, as a family, I'm not letting you use your money." He laughed again. "Unless you want ridiculous items like, I don't know...." Chanyeol had intended to make a witty comment but trailed off when he realised there was nothing Baekhyun could want that Chanyeol wouldn't give willingly. He would give anything for the man sitting next to him. Anything he desired Chanyeol would make it happen. And yet all this man desired was him. He wanted nothing from Chanyeol but his heart and Chanyeol was ready to give it willingly and without reservation.

He watched Baekhyun out of the corner of his eye. One eye was on the beauty radiating from Baekhyun borne out of his renewed relaxation. The other was strictly trained on the road. He couldn't be too distracted with this car full of the most precious cargo.

"Baek. Do you get what I'm saying?" Chanyeol was unnerved by Baekhyun's silence. "I just feel uncomfortable, you know, taking the money of my boyfriend." At the word boyfriend Baekhyun began to giggle and Chanyeol's laughter joined in. It sounded so weird. "That sounded stupid, didn't it." Baekhyun said, still laughing, tears of mirth glistening in his eyes. Chanyeol's laughter became almost hysterical. "I can't believe that, at 33 years old, someone just called me their boyfriend." The word seemed out of place in their relationship that was so much more than that.

"Baek, you have to think of it like this, you take care of us. You take care of my boys like they were your own. You take care of me so well that people in my office are jealous of my lunches. Let me take care of you too. Please." His pleading eyes never left the road but he felt Baekhyun take his words to heart.

"Ok." Baekhyun said. Born fiercely independent, responsible and self reliant, it was time for Baekhyun to let someone look after him. He gave in. As his hand crept over to Chanyeol's leg again he was rewarded with a cheeky grin from the man.

The boys slept most of the way home. They woke up just in time to pass their favourite place. The park. They usually pressed their faces against the windows and whined to run on the grass but they were tired and their need for the outdoors satiated. As they carried them, one each into the building and into the elevator, finally into the apartment their week of heaven was over. Now they had to make it work in reality, in the cold glare of normality, under the harsh gaze of society.

"Bath or food?" Chanyeol asked. "Bath." Baekhyun chose and went to run the water. Two clean and tired boys emerged to find their favourite meal of cup ramen waiting. Chanyeol watched them stuff the noodles into their mouths and soon they were nodding at the table. Once again they carried one twin each as they took them to their bedroom. They snuggled them into bed. Story time was Baekhyun's specialty and Chanyeol joined Jaehyun on his bed as Baekhyun laid across the end of Taeyong's while he read.

When the boys were completely and totally asleep Chanyeol and Baekhyun retreated to Chanyeol's room. It wasn't next door to the boys room but in the apartment every room was close. "They might wake up." Baekhyun whispered as Chanyeol pressed his body against the door, his mouth hungrily enjoying Baekhyun's soft neck, his hands inside his shirt. "We can just be quiet." Chanyeol's own whisper was husky and deep, evidence of his arousal pressing against Baekhyun's hip, his mind couldn't waver from what he wanted.

Baekhyun fumbled with the door handle and found the lock and turned it. Chanyeol took that as a yes and pulled Baekhyun's shirt over his head. Their lips locked in heated passion as they fell onto the bed. Their passion was frantic, intensified by its necessary silence, it was quick and satisfying nonetheless. Their new familiarity hadn't taken any edge off their passion. Every time Chanyeol put his lips on Baekhyun it was like the first time. He knew he would never get used to the feeling of Baekhyun's perfect skin against his, Baekhyun's back arching in ecstasy, his body hungry for everything Chanyeol could give. Chanyeol wanted to give it all to him and more. He wanted to taste every inch, breathe every breath, enjoy every moment they had.

In the safety and comfort of their own bed, the soft moonlight their only witness, Chanyeol lost himself inside Baekhyun's body. He rode him hard and gentle, his movements fast but tender, and when Baekhyun arched his back under him and called his name into the darkness he knew he was home.

The next morning Baekhyun took his new car back to the dorms to pack his things. He was going home.

 

Sehun eyed him as he packed what little belongings he had into a few cases and boxes. "A few weeks ago you guys were too shy to kiss. Now you're moving in with him?" Sehun watched Baekhyun pack his clothes into a suitcase, barely folding them, tossing shirts and pants into a pile. "Yeah well. I love him. And he loves me." Baekhyun hunted around in the closet for the two pairs of shoes he owned besides the ones on his feet.

"You don't think it's moving too fast? Baek, I thought you were going to get laid not become a Mum!" Baekhyun frowned at his serious faced friend. "Don't be like that. You don't understand." He went in the bathroom and began to grab his toiletries. It was all he had. His clothes, his personal items, his laptop.

"Baekhyun. Please don't be mad. I just want you to think about what you are doing." Sehun was genuinely concerned but Baekhyun just brushed him off. "You've never even been to a party. Never drank, never gone wild, never tried anything. Baek how do you know what you're missing out on? How do you know he's not using you? Surely having you around makes his life a whole lot easier."

"I don't need to know what I'm missing out on. I know what I have and that's enough." Baekhyun walked over and put his arms around his tall and stoic friend. "Don't worry so much Sehun. I know sometimes things can seem too good to be true. But what we have is real and indisputable. I can't fight it Sehun. It's too strong." Sehun just sighed and hugged him back.

Everything Baekhyun owned fit inside the hatch of his little car. He loaded his stuff and as he climbed in the front seat he found himself unable to pull away. A cold sweat rushed through his body.

_What if Sehun was right._

He was Baekhyun. Fiercely independent, strong and proud, and highly capable. And here he was sitting in the car bought by his boyfriend. His laptop, his most prized possession was bought by his boyfriend. Everything he had was because of Chanyeol. He felt sick when he suddenly realised something.

_I don't know who I am without Chanyeol anymore._

He didn't need to go out and party. Living a wild university life was never in Baekhyun's plans. But settling down with a family at 18 was never the plan either. It was suddenly overwhelming, frightening and suffocating, and terrifying. He didn't feel as capable as people expected. He had lost his independence. He sat in the car for what felt like forever, trying to find a way out of his panicked state of mind, trying to dig himself out of this well of self doubt.

Finally he pulled himself together and drove to Chanyeol's apartment. Home. He parked the car and grabbed a small bag and began the ascent in the elevator. His palms were sweaty and his knees felt weak. He was suddenly terrified that this wasn't what he wanted at all. But when he opened the door and saw Chanyeol's smile waiting for him his fears and misgivings faded into oblivion.

He dropped the bag and fell into Chanyeol's arms. Their lips met and lingered in a slow and gentle kiss. "Hi." Baekhyun said softly when they finally broke their kiss. "Hi." Chanyeol's gaze was soft and sweet as he looked down at the precious man in his arms. Baekhyun's concerns faded into the background as his arms locked around Chanyeol's waist. "Are you Ok?" Chanyeol could feel something was off. Baekhyun looked flustered, he looked shaken to the core, stressed in a way Chanyeol had never witnessed before. "I am now." He said softly as he buried his head into Chanyeol's chest.

This was his home. This was his place and he was sure. Sehun had shaken his constitution but now he was here any doubt was being melted away. But he did want to do something. "Chanyeol how long before you go back to work?" Baekhyun asked and Chanyeol smiled down at him. "Four days. Why?" Baekhyun pulled away from his embrace and chewed his bottom lip. "This is moving so fast I can't keep up. I'm happy. I really am. But I need to go home for a few days. Is that okay?" Chanyeol pulled him back to his chest. "Of course." He stroked Baekhyun's soft hair and inhaled his scent sharply. He would indulge Baekhyun in whatever he wanted.

He helped Baekhyun unpack his clothes and shoes into the main room while the boys took advantage of the chaos. Jaehyun and Taeyong jumped on the bed and laughed and Chanyeol let them. He was thinking about getting a new one anyway. A king size would be nice but then he would probably need a bigger room. A bigger house would be nice. A real house, not an apartment, a house with space and a yard and maybe even a dog. The boys would be so happy.

A home that was all theirs. He thought about her as he helped hang Baekhyun's shirts in the closet. He remembered her dresses hanging in there. He let them stay for two years before his sister came in one day and grabbed them all out. "Don't take them." He begged her but she steeled her resolve and stared him down. "She's not coming back Chanyeol. Time to deal with it." Chanyeol shivered at the memory.

Now someone else's things hung beside his and it was a nice feeling. It gave him comfort where once he only found sorrow and darkness. Baekhyun seemed especially quiet but for once Chanyeol let it go. If he needed some emotional space then Chanyeol would grant it willingly. Knowing when to relent was something that came with the gift of age. Baekhyun was mature beyond his years but Chanyeol was still older and wiser.

When darkness flooded their home and the two men were safely ensconced in warm black comfort Baekhyun found relaxation. He was overthinking things. He needed his family, he needed to be honest with them, their reaction would be his final gauge. He drifted off to sleep pressed close against Chanyeol's body and he was glad for the warmth. It gave him solace from the world.  


At first he thought about just taking the bus. The idea of turning up at his family home in a new car would open up a lot of questions immediately. But Chanyeol wouldn't have it and eventually Baekhyun realised he was right. Why take a bus when he has a perfectly good car?

So a few hours after he waved goodbye to everyone in the world he loved his neat and shiny little blue car rumbled along the rocky dirt road. He had been singing along loudly to his favourite pop songs while he drove and the trip had gone quickly. Now he was here. Ready to face their questions, their judgement, their opinions. The drive had cleared his mind and the wide open space made him feel free again.

He parked his car, stepped up to the doorstep, and walked in. "Baek!" His Mum was on him in an instant. She scooped him up in a huge hug and then stared at him suspiciously. "You look different." He laughed. "Nope. Same old me. Where's Dad?" "You know what it's like Baek. He's out in the field with Uncle and Grandad." Baekhyun lugged his bag into the house. "Couch?" He said. "Yep. Your bed was claimed as soon as you left." Baekhyun smiled as he dragged his case inside and into the huge living room. The couch looked sufficient, he was only small, and his tiredness made it even more inviting. But he wanted to look around first. He had only been gone a matter of months. It felt like a lifetime.

He walked across the field to where half his family were cutting lettuce from the dirt. It was hard work but honest and nothing to be ashamed of. It had put food in the mouths of Baekhyun and his family for as long as any of them could remember. But when Baekhyun walked across the field, the wind in his too long hair, a soft rim of eyeliner around his lids, Chanyeol's grey sweater enveloping his body, he knew it wasn't his place anymore. He didn't belong. He wondered if he ever really did.

He was hugged almost to death while the men of his household surrounded him. They laughed as they ruffled his hair and tutted over his skinny limbs. He had always been the smallest one in his family and many of his uncles had taken to calling him the runt. With affection of course.

As they all headed together to the house for dinner they were joined by the cousins home from school. Taller and louder, Baekhyun had missed them all, he loved every single one. But none of them were Taeyong with his fierce gaze. And not one had the same squish faced sweetness of Jaehyun. He missed them terribly already.

"So, Baekkie, how is college life?" His grandmother asked with a soft smile. "Any nice girls?" Baekhyun shifted nervously in his seat. He looked around the dinner table at everyone in his family staring at him.

But they weren't everyone in his family. There were three people missing.

"Actually. I have met someone. His name is Chanyeol." Baekhyun stared at the table. Silence filled his ears. All in, he thought, might as well go all in. "He's 33 and has two sons. Twins. And we're living together. As a couple."

The deafening silence overwhelmed him. He looked up from his mum to his dad, his grandmother who he loved so much, his uncles and aunties and cousins. No one spoke, no one moved, even yelling would be better than this suffocating feeling.

Finally someone spoke. His Mum." Well he must be a lovely man Baekhyun. I hope you will bring him here soon to meet us all." She smiled sweetly at Baekhyun who breathed a sigh of relief. Someone was on his side.

"He buy you that car out the front?" Baekhyun's Dad asked without looking up from his food. "Yeah." Baekhyun replied. His dad was hard to read and he wasn't sure where this was going. Finally after what felt like forever he looked his son in the eye and a silent understanding passed between them. His dad was on his side as well. That was all he needed. Conversation began to start up again and soon enough the meal went back to normal. Life went back to normal. Baekhyun relaxed and ate his dinner with a smile on his face. It wasn't happiness on his parents part but it was acceptance and that was all he hoped for. He could win them over the rest of the way.

He joined his Mum and grandmother in the kitchen as they cleaned up from the dinner. "Let me show you." Baekhyun, feeling more comfortable, pulled out his phone and showed them the photos of himself and the boys. And Chanyeol. "He's very handsome." Baekhyun's grandmother smiled at him as he blushed. "He is." Baekhyun grinned as his cheeks flushed pink. "And tall and he's kind and gentle and sweet. And funny." He rambled on about how wonderful Chanyeol was and how much he adored the boys. "Baekhyun. You're so young. Are you sure you're ready to settle down like this? It's a big commitment." His mother was concerned and he could tell. "Well, honestly, I wasn't sure. That's why I came here, I needed some space and some time, think about things a bit....." Baekhyun trailed off as he lost himself in thought. "But now I'm here I miss them so much already." He fiddled with the dishcloth in his hands as he was flooded with emotion. The freedom and space he wanted to test out was just empty. Freedom was only liberating when there was something to return to.

He sighed deeply as he dried another dish. "I'd like to be able to bring them here one day. Do you think everyone else could accept them?" Hope glittered in his eyes as he turned towards his mothers smile. "They'll all get used to the idea Baek. We've all always known you were different." She squealed as Baekhyun swooped her into a huge hug. She had no idea the relief he felt at her words.

He squished himself onto the couch and rolled himself in a blanket. There were no strong arms to hold him tight, no warm body next to him to remind him he wasn't alone, he even missed the soft snores that Chanyeol emitted when he was really tired. Alone the night was a lonely place, the silence deafening, the darkness blinding. He decided he would stay a few days but then he couldn't wait to get home.

 

The apartment seemed empty without him. His clothes filled the closet, his personal items were scattered in the bathroom, his presence was here but he wasn't. Chanyeol tried really had to push out of his mind the similarity. He had been loved before and left before. He was scared even though he wouldn't show it. He didn't know what to do.

When Baekhyun asked for space and time he granted it willingly. Now he wasn't so sure. It had been two nights and no phone call. Chanyeol's phone burned its presence into his skin as his fingers turned it over and over. But he put it down. He didn't call. He wanted space. Chanyeol wanted to do everything right. He couldn't lose him.

_Let a wild thing go._

_If it comes back to you it's yours._

_If it doesn't it never was._

Jaehyun sulked. While the boys both loved Baekhyun he and Jaehyun had a special bond. It was the connection of two gentle and wise young souls that joined their hearts together. Jaehyun missed the young man's presence terribly and cried at bedtime on the second night. Chanyeol debated whether he could maybe call Baekhyun or FaceTime him and get him to sooth Jaehyun's shattered nerves as he laid in his bed. But Baekhyun wanted space. Chanyeol refrained. He tried to replicate the soothing tones of Baekhyun's stories but Jaehyun just poked out his bottom lip. He wanted Baekhyun and there was no substitute.

There was no substitute for Chanyeol either. His bed was cold and lonely. Nights had been transformed into a place of comfort and warmth with Baekhyun's presence. A place and time for quiet words of loving intention. Gentle kisses which became heated, soft touches which brought intensity, clumsy fumbles and heat on skin which chased Chanyeol's nightmares from his life. With Baekhyun's light gone the darkness swiftly returned and it was frightening how much Chanyeol missed Baekhyun's glow.

On the third day Chanyeol and both boys were tired. They were bored and restless. Chanyeol had tried all the things Baekhyun did to make the time fly by. But Chanyeol's colouring was just pencils and paper not a window into another world. Chanyeol's cookies weren't as sweet and his songs didn't carry the same tune. They weren't tired enough to enjoy cartoons. Chanyeol thought of taking them swimming but two five year olds swimming was a two person job. It sounded corny but he really felt like his other half was missing.

Before lunchtime Chanyeol had enough of the claustrophobia of the apartment. He dressed the boys in their outdoor coats. The weather had turned and sunny mornings were making way for the soft fall of orange leaves. Snow would be next and Chanyeol's romantic mind flitted between visions of the four of them making a snowman and him walking Baekhyun through the snow arm in arm. Their first snow together. It sounded magical.

Taeyong wobbled as he tried to put his gum boots on and he accidentally knocked into Jaehyun. "Hey!" Jaehyun yelled angrily. His tired little brain couldn't comprehend the concept of 'accident' and he pushed his brother hard. Taeyong, slightly smaller, flew hard into the wall. He cried. Chanyeol yelled. Jaehyun cried. Chanyeol rolled his eyes. His life had swiftly gone back to what had become a distant memory.

He sighed deeply and summoned all his energy. "Come on guys. Let's get out of here." Chanyeol said as he led them out the door. They needed the release of the outdoors and Chanyeol needed some peace even if it would be fleeting.

They arrived at the park and it was a field of memories and moments for Chanyeol. As the boys released their energy on the playground he was reminded of the first day he sat here with Baekhyun. He remembered the bright and happy young man running wildly across the grass. A beautiful boy whose face lit up at the pure joy of buying his boys a kite and teaching them to fly it. Chanyeol remembered desperately wanting to regain that same energy and thirst for happiness that Baekhyun radiated from within.

A realisation washed over him. He had been putting too much stake in Baekhyun's joy. He had to regain his happiness for himself. How could he expect to just take from Baekhyun all the time, to leech his precious joy, to suck the life out of him. He couldn't continue to do this. It would be too draining.

He kicked his shoes off and his lumbering body jogged over to the playground. It was Saturday morning and the other parents looked at him a little funny as his huge body climbed up to the top of the slide. "Daddy! What are you doing?" Taeyong squealed with laughter as Chanyeol folded his huge body in half and flew down the slide. He picked up too much speed and landed on the dirt at the bottom. "Ow." He winced as he stood up and rubbed his back. Maybe this was a job for 18 year olds with young bodies. But the laughter of his boys ringing in his ears was magical. It was worth it.

Chanyeol walked them over to the cafe and got them the biggest ice creams they sold. He laughed as they walked back to the park, vanilla running down Taeyong's arm, strawberry covering Jaehyun's cheeks. Months ago this would have filled him with stress. He would have been already thinking about the cleaning and the washing. He was learning to let go and live in the moment. And Baekhyun made moments worth living for. Suddenly Chanyeol missed him terribly, deeply and sadly, he just wanted him to come home.

"Daddy watch me!" Jaehyun called out as Chanyeol sat on the bench and flicked through his photos on his phone. They had taken so many during their holiday. Real family memories. Precious and sweet moments from the past, and plenty of space ready for the memories of the future. Ready for forever. Chanyeol was ready for forever.

"Daddy! Daddy watch me! Daddy!" Chanyeol heard Jaehyun's voice again as he scrolled through his contacts. He wanted to quickly call him, just a moment in time, a snippet of his sweet voice. His thumb hovered over the call button but he was snapped out of it by a scream. While he had been distracted Jaehyun had decided to show off how brave he was by climbing the tree that had been his nemesis. His little fingers were slippery and sticky from the ice cream and when he fell backwards onto the ground he hit the grass hard.

Chanyeol ran to him in panic as Taeyong began to cry. Jaehyun screamed and Taeyong sobbed and Chanyeol panicked. He didn't know what to do, he didn't want to move him, so he phoned for an ambulance and clung to his tiny hand.

And for the first time in a long time Chanyeol felt utterly and miserably alone.

 

Baekhyun had felt liberated in the freedom of the farm. He had spent a day in the field reacquainting himself with the dirty fingernails of hard and honest work. He came for time to think things over and a day of squatting in a field cutting lettuce was enough. He wanted to go home. He was staying one more night and then he was heading home as quickly as his little blue car would convey him.

He was helping his mother make dinner when there was a knock at the door. He threw it open and stumbled backwards when his school friends assaulted him with hugs and squeals. "Ah - - guys let go of me!" Baekhyun shrugged out of their hold and away from their fussing hands. "Yixing!" Baekhyun grinned at his most caring and loving friend. The soft spoken Yixing was the son of Chinese immigrants who came to work hard in the rich agricultural area when their son was just a baby. "Junmyeon." He drew his strong and dependable friend into his arms. Junmyeon had dreams of studying architecture at the same university as Baekhyun but when his father died just months before graduation he threw his dreams away to take over their family's dairy farm.

The three friends, drawn apart as boys, reunited as men, walked along the dusty road towards town. Discussion turned from casual talk of small town gossip to the standard fodder for farmers. Weather conditions, crop rotations, the farm gate price of milk per litre. Baekhyun was pleasantly surprised to learn that Yixing was taking accounting by distance education and had taken a position bookkeeping for Junmyeon. As the three of them succumbed to the obligatory talk of girls Baekhyun found it strange that both were single. "For real?" He laughed. With Junmyeons dairy farm doing so well under his management, and Yixing boasting a clean cut office job, they would be the most eligible young bachelors in the area.

"What about you then Baek?" Yixing laughed. "Actually, I have to come clean with you both, about something I've wanted to say for a long time." Baekhyun took a deep breath as they continued their walk. Yixing had convinced him to go with them to the one bar still open in the small town and Baekhyun had said yes. That was what he came here for wasn't it? To learn about the things he was missing out on. To look through the window at a life left behind, to taste a life not lived, to walk the path of what could have been. Or could still be.

He steeled his inner resolve and stopped his friends. They were at the crossroad, the T junction between the dirt road of his farm and the bitumen road. One direction led towards the small town where he had never quite fit in. The other led him home, to Chanyeol's arms, to the joy of Jaehyun's smile and the glow in Taeyong's eyes.

"Guys. I'm gay." He stood and stared at them waiting for a response. "Gay?" Junmyeon said. "Like how gay?" Baekhyun laughed at the question. "What do you want? Like a percentage or a scale out of ten? One hundred percent. 10 out of 10. Like super fucking gay." Baekhyun's giggles grew louder and the others soon joined in. Baekhyun's laughter died as he became serious again. "For real guys. I'm living with someone. His name is Chanyeol." Yixings eyes opened as wide as they could. Junmyeon seemed more shaken than Baekhyun expected.

All in, Baekhyun thought to himself again, might as well go all in. "He's 33. He has an advertising agency and twin boys. They're five. Do you want to see a picture?" He held his breath in anticipation. "I do!" Yixing squealed with palpable excitement and grabbed for Baekhyun's phone. "Oh, they're so cute, Junmyeon look how cute!" He shoved the phone at Junmyeon who smiled softly at the phone and then at Yixing' glowing excitement. Baekhyun breathed a sigh of relief.

It felt like they had been walking for ages. It was late afternoon and the sun wouldn't set for a few hours. It's warmth soaked Baekhyun's skin and he felt light as air as he walked through the small town. His family still loved him. His friends would stick by him. Their acceptance was all he needed to truly accept himself. As they walked through the mostly empty streets and into the towns one bar Baekhyun noticed his phone had lost signal. Ugh. He hated having no signal. His mother had said that she would come pick him up when he was done but he would have to call her somehow.

As the three men sat side by side at the bar Baekhyun downed a shot of something unidentifiable and chased it with a beer. And then another. A third one soon had him feeling light headed. Junmyeon and Yixing amused Baekhyun with endless stories of what had been going on while he had been away. Baekhyun told them all about his new city lifestyle, about Sehun and the University, campus living and the stress of a full time study load. He didn't fail to notice the wistful glint in Junmyeon's eyes when he talked about his studies. But Junmyeon's eye was quickly caught by Yixings soft smile and everything fell back into place. The conversation went on but Baekhyun had a feeling something else was going on behind the scenes.

Baekhyun's fourth beer went down like a treat. "I want to dance." He whined at his friends and Yixing took him to the dance floor. They laughed and danced together, getting a little too carried away, Baekhyun grinding on Yixing in a way that could only be described as scandalous, Yixing grasping Baekhyun's body for stability. They both laughed until Baekhyun's peripheral vision caught Junmyeon's hurt stare and he quickly excused himself to the toilet.

He sat down on the closed toilet seat and tried to collect himself. He felt hot and itchy, he thought he might vomit, but now he was in here he changed his mind. He fumbled for his phone hoping he had a missed call or even a message. Nothing. The lack of phone service had slipped his alcohol soaked mind. He had a sudden urge to cry. What was he doing here? If this was what he was missing out on, the fun of youth and freedom, then people could keep it to themselves. Downing beers, drunkenly grinding on his best school friend, gossiping and trash talking people and wanting to throw up. This wasn't fun.

Baekhyun wanted to go home.

He looked at the time on his phone. It was only 7pm. If he hadn't drank he could have driven home, his real home, and made it before midnight. Sadness overwhelmed him as he realised he had thrown away a chance to sleep next to Chanyeol tonight. He got his shit together and walked out of the stall. When he entered the bar he could see Junmyeon and Yixing locked in a heated discussion which abated as soon as Baekhyun swayed towards them.

"I gotta go guys. Thanks though. This was just what I needed." He hugged them both, Yixing first, and when he held Junmyeon he whispered in his ear. "Don't make him wait. Just tell him how you feel." He turned and walked out the door and didn't look back.

As he walked along the dark lonely road he began to slowly sober up. The last light of day was still visible as a glowing line of sunlight on the horizon. Baekhyun decided drinking sucked and he didn't know why people did it all the time. Sharing a glass of wine with Chanyeol gave him a different feeling than this sick and dirty feeling he had now.

He hit the edge of town and his phone, suddenly connected to the network again, buzzed into life. Baekhyun pulled it out his pocket and saw 17 missed calls and four voice messages from Chanyeol. He panicked. He went straight to the voice mails.

_"Baekhyun please pick up. Jaehyun fell out of a tree at the park. He's hurt. We're in the ambulance. Call me back please."_

_"Baek. We're at the hospital. He has to have an X-ray. He's in a lot of pain._ _Please call me back."_

_"Baek. Where are you? Call me back. Please."_

Each one sounded more desperate than the last. And the final one.

_"Please call me back. He's asking for you Baekhyun. His arm is broken, but he's okay, he's scared and he keeps asking for you and I don't know what to do. Please call me back. Please."_

Baekhyun's resolve finally cracked. What was he doing here? This wasn't his home. And when the people he loved the most needed him he wasn't there. Baekhyun's tears fell from his lashes like hot summer rain as his trembling fingers dialled Chanyeol's number. He was ashamed of himself, guilt ridden and miserable, but he knew they needed him and he would get to them somehow.

_I'm coming home Chanyeol._

 

"I'm sorry." Baekhyun sobbed into the phone. "I was out with some friends. I had no phone service. Please tell me everything's alright." He panted for breath as he made his way along the dusty dirt road back to the farm.

"Baek. Calm down. We're all fine now. It's been a rough few hours but Jaehyun's going to be ok." Chanyeol's words were calm but his tone was stressed. Baekhyun's guilt and shame weighed him down. He was sobered up but still tipsy and he wished he wasn't such a lightweight.

Baekhyun's sobs started up again as he willed his feet to keep moving. "I want to come home." He sniffed. "I miss you guys. If I hadn't come here none of this would have happened..." Chanyeol interrupted him. "Have you been drinking?" He asked and Baekhyun said yes. He hated himself right then and there, he had made a poor choice, and those he loved were suffering. If he hadn't gone out with the others he would have been at the farm, sober and sensible, he could have taken the call and been with them by now. But it was too late for that. Now he could only deal with it as best he could.

"How can I get home?" Baekhyun was almost hysterical. His emotions were magnified by the alcohol coursing through his body and Chanyeol tried his best to calm him down again. "Look. You can't do anything about it now. Just go to bed and come home in the morning. It's fine." Baekhyun sighed. "No. No it's not fine. Are you at home?" Chanyeol took a long time to answer. "I'm still at the hospital. Jaehyun needs to stay in. I don't know whether to take Taeyong home and leave Jaehyun alone or stay here."

By this time Baekhyun had made it to the house. "I'll get there somehow. Just wait for me. Ok?" The voice on the other end was uncharacteristically and uncomfortably small. "Ok Baek." Was all he said.

He didn't realise how bad he looked until he walked in the house and saw his mother's shocked reaction. "What happened?" She gasped out as she ran towards him. "Nothing. I'm just a useless idiot." He swept around the living area, scooping the few items he brought with him into his bag. "I need to get home." Tears stained his satin smooth cheeks, dirtying them with fear, his hands shaking with panicked emotion. "Baekhyun. Baekhyun!" She had to shout at him to make him stop. Baekhyun always prided himself on being mature, responsible and strong, and his mother hadn't yelled at him for as long as he could remember.

He stood, half drunk, still at last in the middle of the room. "Chanyeol and the boys need me. Now. They need me and I'm not there and I can't be because I let people get in my fucking head and I came here thinking I needed space and I don't want space I just want him." Baekhyun felt his mother's arms envelope his body, surrounding it with calming warmth, immediately bringing him back from the edge. "Breathe, Baekhyun, just breathe." She soothed into his hair as she stroked it. He finally calmed down enough to tell her the gist of what had transpired over the last few hours.

"They need me Mum." He said with finality. "Ok Baek." She said as she got up from the couch where she had dragged his shaking body. "I'll grab my things and drive you home. Ok?" He smiled through his tears as relief washed over him. "Thanks Mum." He said. He could always rely on his Mum to be in his corner. When he thought about what his life would be like without her it drew his mind back to the two motherless boys he loved so much. He couldn't replace a mother's love but he could be there for them just like his own mother was always there for him.   


 

 

It took them just over an hour to reach the city, and then half an hour to wind their way through the light traffic. Baekhyun's Mum hadn't really driven in the city before and she was nervous. Baekhyun guided her as best he could with his own limited familiarity and soon, but not soon enough, they arrived at the hospital. As Baekhyun ran through the same white hallways that still rang with the steps of his own assault he felt like he couldn't get there fast enough.

"Slow down." His Mum hissed as she grabbed his arm. They reached the paediatric ward and Baekhyun presented himself to the nurses desk. "I need the room of Park Jaehyun please." The nurse looked over a folder and looked back at him tiredly. "Family only. It's after visiting hours." She looked back down at her paperwork. "I am family." Baekhyun asserted. "I'm his....."

_His what?_

Baekhyun pushed his hair out of his face and stood up straighter. "I'm his other parent. Give me the room number please."  


Chanyeol paced the room, unable to sit down, unable to relax. Taeyong was asleep curled up on the armchair in the corner of the cold hospital room. The white walls were closing in on him, the silence was deafening, the smell of sanitisation repulsive. He heard a noise behind him, thunderously loud in the silence, and as the door opened he was suddenly there. Baekhyun fell into his arms and he squeezed him so tight that the smaller man made little squeaks for relief. "I needed you." Chanyeol whispered. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll never leave you guys again." Baekhyun's voice was muffled as his face pressed into Chanyeol's chest.

They stood unmoving for what felt like forever and not long enough. Baekhyun had missed every single aspect of Chanyeol, his touch, his smell, his voice, his everything. His need for the man went beyond the physical, he was like emotional oxygen, Baekhyun just didn't know who he was without Chanyeol. A week ago that thought was terrifying. Now it was comforting. He clung to Chanyeol's shirt, his arms drawn tight around the tall man's back, and breathed a sigh of relief.

They finally broke apart at the awkward shuffling into the room of Baekhyun's Mum. "Chanyeol this is my Mum." Chanyeol went red up to the tips of his ears. "Mrs Byun." He said bowing so low he almost fell over. "It's nice to meet you. Thank you for bringing Baekhyun home to me." She smiled at the man awkwardly blushing in front of her. "It's nice to meet you Chanyeol. I'm sorry it wasn't under happier circumstances." Chanyeol laughed. "Nothing like a complicated family emergency to bring people together."

Baekhyun sat on the hospital bed and stroked the hair of the sleeping boy. His arm was cast from his wrist to elbow in bright blue plaster. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he leaned in and kissed his forehead. "You stay. We'll take Taeyong home and come back in the morning. Ok?" Chanyeol nodded. He forgot about the unobtrusive presence of Mrs Byun as he leaned his lips in for a gentle kiss. Baekhyun met him halfway and closed his eyes as he melted into Chanyeol's delicate kiss. It was just enough. "See you in the morning." Chanyeol whispered. "I love you." Baekhyun whispered back as he touched their foreheads together.

He scooped up the sleeping Taeyong into his arms. His mum held the door open for him as his were full of the sleeping child who stirred as Baekhyun began to walk. When the cold night air of the outside world hit him Taeyong woke up. "Baekhyun." He mumbled sleepily when he realised who was carrying him and wrapped his little arms around Baekhyun's neck. "We missed you. Dad was sad and Jaehyun cried. A lot."

With Taeyong washed and tucked into bed Baekhyun walked out into the kitchen to find his mum had made herself at home. Two steaming mugs of coffee sat on the bench while she wandered around checking out the apartment. "Nice." She said, her satisfaction evident, as she smiled at her son. "It's a pretty nice life you've got here." "I know." Baekhyun smiled back. "I have it all. I'm the luckiest guy on earth."

 

Baekhyun woke up to the most beautiful view. It wasn't Chanyeol's smile or a rolling ocean view. It wasn't his beloved night sky or the golden sun rising over a cold winters morning on the farm.

Baekhyun rubbed his bleary eyes and stumbled out of the bedroom to find Taeyong sitting on the kitchen bench talking animatedly while his Mum sliced fruit onto a plate.

"Hey Tiger." Baekhyun said as he lifted the happy little boy into his arms. "Hey Baekhyun." The little boy's thin arms wrapped around Baekhyun's neck as he carried him to the couch. Baekhyun turned the tv to cartoons and joined his Mum in the kitchen. He took the steaming mug of coffee from her and allowed its rich caffeine to flood his body. He was caught somewhere on the fine line between exhaustion and a hangover.

"He's sweet." Baekhyun Mum indicated the little boy watching cartoons upside down on the couch. She handed Baekhyun the plate of toast and fruit and he put it down on the coffee table. "He told me all about how you and his Dad sleep in the same bed but he’s not allowed to call you Mum." She smirked and stifled a giggle and Baekhyun started to laugh.  "I would have expected it to affect them more." Baekhyun said as he sipped his coffee and leaned on the kitchen bench. "But they don't seem bothered at all." Baekhyun's Mum smiled at him. "Kids are tough and honest Baek. And they just need people to love them. That's what makes them happy."

The three of them piled into Baekhyun's little car and went to the hospital hoping for good news. And they got it. "We can go home!" Chanyeol said into Baekhyun's mop of hair as they hugged out in the corridor. Jaehyun had been cleared for any concussion or serious injury. He would have to wear the cast for six weeks but he would be fine.

"Chanyeol." Baekhyun said as he looked up at his man, his tall handsome man, who looked down at him with all the love in the world. "I'm really sorry. I acted immaturely and I didn't think about what I was doing. I was scared but now I'm not. I know this is what I want."

"Baekhyun stop beating yourself up over it." Chanyeol wrapped his arms around the tiny man tighter and tighter until it felt like the life was going to be squeezed out of him. "I know it's a lot. Being with me means taking on a lot of responsibilities. As long as you're honest with me so I know when you need space. Because I can't lose you." Chanyeol's voice broke and Baekhyun just buried his face tighter into Chanyeol's chest. "Ok. But I won't need space again for a very long time."

Chanyeol stared at the face of the man he loved. The man who had saved his sanity, made him whole again, made them into a real family. "Baek, you can't be so hard on yourself. You didn't act immaturely. You acted like a person with emotions and feelings. And that's okay." He sighed and hoped for acceptance in Baekhyun's eyes. He searched until he found it and relief washed over him. He needed Baekhyun to know he didn't always have to be the strong one. He didn't always have to be the mature one or the wise one or the selfless one. He needed to know that Chanyeol could be there for him too.

It was then and there that Chanyeol knew for sure that he would give his all to make a life for them. For the people he loved. His family.

As the five of them piled into the car Jaehyun snuggled up against Baekhyun in the backseat. "I'm so sorry little man." He whispered to the boy clutching to his side. "It's okay Baekhyun. I was brave just like you taught me." Jaehyun said and Baekhyun smiled to himself as he looked out the window. Most of the leaves had dropped and the park was awash in shades of red and gold and yellow. The first snows would be falling soon.

He stroked the little boy's hair and thought about all the things people thought he was giving up. Was he prepared to give the University lifestyle? Was he prepared to spend his youth reading bedtime stories instead of going to bars? Was he ready for a family, the joys and the responsibilities, the fun and the tears, the hard work? As he stroked the soft hair under his hand he knew the answer was yes. And no one was going to shake his conviction this time. This was it. This was his life and he was glad to have it.

He helped settle Chanyeol and the boys in at home and watched as his mum said goodbye to them. Chanyeol was still an awkward blushing mess and Baekhyun had to giggle when his mum pulled the tall and shy man down into a hug. She had a hug for each boy and Baekhyun's heart melted when Taeyong leaned up and kissed her cheek. The fierce little boy had taken a liking to her instantly, had followed her everywhere, and even clung to her hand as they walked into the hospital.

The drive back to the farm was filled with talk of the boys. Now that Baekhyun's Mum had seen them she was just as smitten as he was. "They're so sweet. That little Taeyong reminds me so much of you at that age. All fierce independence and false bravado." She laughed as Baekhyun did too. "Not much has changed." He admitted. "Bring then to the farm next school holidays. I promised them they can come and make cupcakes and your dad will take them fishing in the lake." Her words filled Baekhyun's heart with joy as he drove down the dirt road home. They would like that. So would he.

After four hours of driving broken up by a quick lunch at the farm they were finally all together. All four. Taeyong played on the floor with his trucks. Jaehyun was drawing a picture and it was a small stroke of luck that it was his left arm broken and not his right. Cartoons played loudly on the tv but no one was really watching it. And in the kitchen, hidden from view, Baekhyun and Chanyeol finally made their reunion. Their lips meeting in a kiss that seemed to last forever, both lingering in the moment, neither wanting to be the one to break it.

"I can't lose you." Chanyeol whispered. "You won't." Baekhyun replied. "I'll never leave you. I promise."

He closed his eyes as he pressed himself into Chanyeol's chest and inhaled the scent of the man he loved so much.

"I'll never leave you guys ever again."

 

The first snows had fallen. It was still weeks away from their birthday but Chanyeol wanted to make a special trip. This was a special occasion.

As Chanyeol wandered through the cemetery, one tiny hand in each of his, for the first time ever he was able to see how beautiful the cemetery was. Bare branched trees stood sentinel over the snow dusted grass like silent and permanent pallbearers. Roses lined each row of graves and their little heads bobbed in the breeze with crowns of pink and red and yellow.

Chanyeol had a bouquet of white lilies tied with a bright blue bow. They walked along one of the back rows until they found her.

**Park Hana**

**Died age 27**

**Beloved wife and mother.**

**Always remembered.**  


It wasn't their birthday yet but Chanyeol had a special gift for them. He sat on the grass and the boys sat with him. They knew what this place was and what it meant but they couldn't truly understand the loss of a mother they only ever knew from the inside. By the time they were in this cold harsh world she was already leaving them.

"Boys. It's almost your birthday. So I thought we could come here early this year. I don't want to come on your birthday anymore. I think we could do something else instead, something fun, whatever you guys want."

Chanyeol's mind wandered back to last year, their fifth birthday, when he had brought them here with white lilies and empty dejection. The boys had, like every other year, spent their birthday watching their Daddy cry. Five years had been especially hard for him and he had sat right here in the snow and the wind and sobbed while the boys watched on in fear. He had frightened them. He never wanted to go back to that place. It was time to move on.

Chanyeol reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the rings. Two white gold wedding rings on two white gold chains. One thick and strong and one fine and delicate.

He held the delicate one towards his little tiger, the fierce and independent boy, who had his mothers eyes. "This was very special to your Mummy. She would want you to have it. When you look at it remember how much she loved you and how much she wanted to stay with you. And how much of a fierce fighter she was. Just like you." Taeyong's dark brown eyes blinked up at him as Chanyeol hung the chain around his neck. It was too big but it didn't matter. It was where it belonged.

He turned to the wise little soul who sat at his other side. "Jaehyun. This is my ring that I'm giving to you. As long as you have this ring you can always remember how much I love your Mummy. I miss her every day. She loved the both of you so much. She was so brave and you are too." Jaehyun's eyes filled with understanding beyond his years. He let Chanyeol hang the chain around his neck and he clutched the ring in his tiny fist and climbed into his Daddy's lap.

They sat there in the gently falling snow for a few more minutes before it was enough. The moment was over and it was time to go.

A few weeks later it was the night before their birthday. It was a Saturday night and Chanyeol had been acting sketchy for weeks. Baekhyun wasn't used to not being in on the secrets and he was being eaten alive wondering what he was up to. The boys were playing on the floor having just been bathed by Baekhyun. Chanyeol had insisted on going out to bring back some takeaway chicken for their dinner but he had been gone for over an hour.

Finally he was back. Baekhyun eyed him curiously as he walked in with a big box. It didn't look like chicken. Or smell like chicken. "What's that?" Baekhyun confronted him as soon as he walked in. "Ssshhhhh." Chanyeol giggled. "Come and see. It's a surprise." He winked at Baekhyun and Baekhyun just had to grin. Chanyeol had changed in the last few weeks and Baekhyun knew it was because of the matching rings on chains that sat on the boys bedside cupboards. It was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time he seemed to be really living. He was alive and vibrant, happy and loving, the light of his joy burned bright in his eyes every time he looked at Baekhyun and his sons. And Baekhyun returned the fire with every blazing touch, every searing kiss, every whispered word of love. No matter how much he gave it was never enough. Baekhyun's love for Chanyeol was endless and unconditional and when Chanyeol held him he knew he felt the same. He could feel it.

Baekhyun followed him into the living room where Chanyeol placed the box on the floor. "What's that Daddy?" Jaehyun looked up in excitement. "An early birthday present for my two favourite boys." "Hey. What about me?" Baekhyun hit him in the arm and Chanyeol swept him closer to his body. "You're not a boy." His voice was deep and soft in Baekhyun's ear. "You're a man." He whispered into Baekhyun's ear and sneaked a kiss against his neck before turning his attention back to the boys.

As soon as the boys opened the box it turned over and two balls of fluffy puppy tumbled out. One was black and one was gold and both were curly and fuzzy and wriggling. "Daddy!" Taeyong screamed as he went after the black one which was tearing across the apartment as breakneck speed. Jaehyun curled around the little golden one and jumped back when its teeth latched onto his arm. "I'm scared." He climbed into Baekhyun's lap who cuddled the little boy closer. "He's not trying to hurt you Jae. That's how puppies explore their world." Sufficiently soothed, Jaehyun went back to the puppy, and Baekhyun turned to Chanyeol. "What were you thinking? We can't keep one puppy in this apartment! Let alone two!" Chanyeol just laughed at him. "Lighten up Baek! They'll have plenty of space when we move into our new house." His eyes sparkled with barely contained delight while he waited for Baekhyun's reaction. "A house! A real house! With a yard?" Baekhyun squealed with delight and climbed into Chanyeol's lap. "Yeah. And a pool and four bedrooms and two bathrooms. So your Mum can come and stay. And when the boys get older they might want their own space." He was cut off by Baekhyun's lips melting into his own.

The next day, bathed in cold winter sunlight, they stood on the lawn of a beautiful white two story home. It was right on the edge, where the city apartments turned into quiet suburbia, and life ran at a slightly slower pace. "I know you won't be able to walk to University anymore. But I thought we could take turns driving them to school in the morning." Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun from the back as two wild little boys and two wild little puppies ran across the grass. "It's perfect." Was all Baekhyun could say as he turned into Chanyeol's arms and buried his head into his chest. It really was perfect. All of it.

Chanyeol's eyes took it all in. A real home. For a real family. Chanyeol finally had everything he ever wanted. The light finally overcame the darkness. And it couldn't have felt any sweeter.

The end.

 


	2. bonus 1

_Six months later....._

Chanyeol's big SUV rolled easily down the long dirt road. Two little boys were pressed against the windows with the two little dogs on the seat between them. Over the last six months they had been here a few times with Baekhyun and Chanyeol and loved the farm. They loved the open spaces, the long and rowdy dining table where no one ever told you to be quiet or use your manners, they loved being doted on by the other children who were all older than them.

But most of all they loved their Grandma and Grandpa Byun.

As the car pulled up in front of the huge farmhouse Baekhyun's Mum was already waiting for them. The boys ran from the car and into her arms and she scooped them up and squeezed them. "You've grown taller!" She ruffled Taeyong's hair and the little boy's face glowed. "You look stronger!" She brushed her hand across Jaehyun's chubby cheek and he grinned at her. "Where's Grandpa Byun?" Jaehyun asked. "He's working. But he'll be here for dinner soon and tomorrow he's going to take you fishing in the lake and then you're going to help me make cookies." Two little boys jumped up and down with excitement and she smiled with pride. "Now take the dogs inside." She said and the boys ran straight for the living room where they knew there would be a pile of pillows and blankets just for them.

"Hey Mum." Baekhyun hugged her. "Thanks for doing this." She smiled from Baekhyun to Chanyeol and laughed. "We love them being here. We love all of you being here but I am glad you guys are going to have a little break. You deserve some time to yourselves." She winked at Chanyeol who blushed beet red from his ears down to his toes and turned back to the car to get their bags.

A few hours later they were alone in the car driving back to the city. Baekhyun stared out the window while Chanyeol drove in silence. The silence was comforting and soothing and a luxury they never usually had. Baekhyun was lost in memories of everything that had happened over the last year. How much his life had changed. How many memories they had made as a couple and as a family. He sighed in self satisfaction. Life was good.

He felt warmth creep into his hand and he looked up to see Chanyeol smiling as he drove. "Whatcha thinking about?" Chanyeol asked as he squeezed his hand. "Nothing much." Baekhyun smiled at him. "Just happy." He turned back towards the window but not before seeing the soft expression spread across Chanyeol's face.

As they drove towards the city Baekhyun's face darkened in confusion when they missed the turn off to the leafy inner city suburb their house was in. "Where are we going?" He asked and Chanyeol's expression turned from happy to excited. "The boys get a break and so do we. I thought we could do something special." Baekhyun's excitement was palpable. He began to fidget in his seat. Chanyeol's surprises were the best. And as they pulled up in front of a huge glass walled luxury hotel he wasn't disappointed. A valet opened his door and Baekhyun jumped out and looked around in wonder. Chanyeol handed over the keys and took a big bag out of the back of the car before the valet took it to park.

"I packed your clothes. I hope I picked out the right things." Chanyeol smiled down at the small, and very excited, man next to him. "Although if I have my way you probably wont be needing them much." He purred into Baekhyun's ear and Baekhyun felt like he was melting. Chanyeol could switch from goofy to sexy in a second and it was a duality that Baekhyun adored. He gripped his hand tightly and let Chanyeol led him into the brightly lit white lobby.

"Reservation for Park." Chanyeol said to the receptionist who took his credit card and handed over a keycard. "Enjoy your stay." She said as her eyes flicked from Chanyeol, tall and well built and mature, to the small and young looking man clinging to his arm. Chanyeol just grinned at her as he led Baekhyun towards the elevator. Once safely inside they both began to laugh. "I need to start showing people my ID when we're together." Baekhyun laughed. "She probably thinks you're a massive creep!" He laughed and his eyes disappeared into his cheeks and Chanyeol couldn't resist pulling him close.

The last year of Chanyeol's life had been a transformation. Every day was a revelation, a new adventure, a new joy in discovery. And every day that they were together in their new home with their boys, so happy and free, Chanyeol felt the healing in his soul.

But here in this hotel elevator, away from the constant voices of children and the sound of dog paws on wooden floors, Chanyeol felt something else.

He pulled Baekhyun even closer and breathed against his neck. His lips began to slowly make their way down Baekhyun's skin as he felt the smaller go weak in his arms. "Hmmmmm...." Baekhyun hummed softly as his eyes closed, desire taking over his body, every sense suddenly heightened.

The elevator doors opened and Chanyeol grabbed his hand and practically pulled him down the hallway to the right room. He swiped the card and opened the door and as soon as it closed behind them he dropped the bag and devoured Baekhyun in an urgent kiss. Baekhyun groaned softly, then began to giggle, as Chanyeol's lips worked down his neck and his hands moved under his shirt. "Chanyeol...." His voice was soft but heavy with arousal. "Yeol... No one's going to hear us...." Chanyeol dropped to his knees and lifted Baekhyun's tshirt and began to suck at the soft skin of his stomach. "That's right. And I'm going to make you scream. Loud."

Before Baekhyun could comprehend he felt Chanyeol working his belt and then the button on his jeans. They hadn't made it past the entry to the hotel room but Baekhyun's jeans were soon around his ankles and his fingers were in Chanyeol's hair. Chanyeol gripped Baekhyun's erection in his hand and took the tip into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the hot skin, tasting Baekhyun's excitement. "You taste so good." Chanyeol whispered before taking in the whole length. Baekhyun felt his knees buckle as Chanyeol hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard. Baekhyun gasped for air and tried to grip the wall and groaned loudly as Chanyeol worked the length of his hard cock with his tongue.

"Yeol..... ahh...." Baekhyun tried to make words but they escaped him. He felt his stomach clench and his orgasm edge closer. "Yeol... stop..." He gripped Chanyeol's hair. "Stop.... if you don't stop...." His words failed him as he looked down and saw Chanyeol looking up at him. Chanyeol's mouth moves quicker, his tongue flat against the underside on Baekhyun's cock, his cheeks drawn in with the suction. He sucked harder and faster and was rewarded when Baekhyun's groans became louder and more ragged. His knees buckled, his eyes clenched shut, his entire body clenched and then released as he came into Chanyeol's mouth. Relief and a hint of guilt washed over him as he heard Chanyeol cough and gag a little.

"Fuck. Sorry." Baekhyun gasped for air as Chanyeol stood back up. "You never swear!" Chanyeol laughed as he picked him up and carried him into the bedroom. He tossed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him. Baekhyun was half dressed, his tshirt and hoodie still on and his pants left behind in the hallway. Chanyeol hovered over him, taking in the sight of him all flushed cheeks and rumpled hair, running his hands up Baekhyun's bare thighs.

"You're so beautiful." Chanyeol's voice was thick with arousal, lust, and something else Baekhyun couldn't pin down. He felt the bed shift and looked up to see Chanyeol shedding his clothes. He still couldn't believe how hot Chanyeol was. He sat up and pulled his own hoodie and tshirt off and tossed them on the floor. "Hurry up." He whined at Chanyeol who dropped his jeans and laughed. "Someone's needy today." Chanyeol moved back onto the bed and on top of Baekhyun. He kissed him gently but Baekhyun just whined into it and raked his nails across Chanyeol's back.

Chanyeol kissed him harder, their tongues fighting, his hands running all over Baekhyun's naked skin. He groaned, then growled, as he pressed his hot erection against Baekhyun's hip. "Chanyeol...." Baekhyun moaned as he felt lips on his neck again. "What are you waiting for? An invitation?" His begging was hushed when Chanyeol lubed his fingers and entered him and began to massage his insides. Baekhyun squirmed and moaned as Chanyeol's thick fingers searched for the place that would make Baekhyun scream and when he found it he wasn't disappointed.

Baekhyun moaned and gasped for air, riding his body down hard on Chanyeol's fingers, hungry for more. Desperate for more. Begging for more. "Please Chanyeol. Please...." Chanyeol's fingers slipped out of Baekhyun and he sat back to enjoy the sight. Naked, his body milky white and perfect, his face flushed with anticipation. Chanyeol couldn't believe how beautiful he was. "Fuck." Chanyeol couldn't wait anymore and he cursed as he entered Baekhyun. He squeezed his eyes shut as every inch of his cock buried itself deep inside Baekhyun's body. He felt so good. It always felt so good but after months of doing it late at night, locking the bedroom door and holding in their voices, occasionally sneaking home at lunch so they could have some privacy, Chanyeol was able to let himself go. He pulled out almost to the tip and then snapped his hips hard. As he drove his erection back inside Baekhyun the smaller groaned and arched his back. Chanyeol reached an arm behind Baekhyun's knee and pulled it up towards his shoulder. As he shifted his angle and began to thrust faster he was rewarded when Baekhyun began to moan loudly.

Baekhyun was lost in the ecstasy of Chanyeol pounding into him. Each time he thrust he hit Baekhyun's prostate head on and it felt so good it was almost overwhelming. His hands wandered restlessly, looking for something to distract them and he found satisfaction when he gripped Chanyeol's hair. He felt wild in his freedom, in total privacy, and he found his voice urging Chanyeol on. "Harder!" He thrust his hips up to meet Chanyeol's rhythm and urged him on more. "Chanyeol..... " His voice was barely a whine as he moaned louder and louder. He felt his body on the edge and when Chanyeol dipped his head and bit down on the soft skin of Baekhyun's neck it was his undoing. He rolled his hips and called Chanyeol's name loudly and desperately as he came, his orgasm pulsing as he came all over his stomach.

Over sensitivity set in quickly and he began to squirm under Chanyeol's body. Chanyeol read Baekhyun's cues and stopped holding himself back. A few fast and messy thrusts and he came hard inside Baekhyun. As he threw his head back and groaned through his orgasm Baekhyun watched him through heavily lidded eyes with a heady mix of lust and adoration. He was so into Chanyeol in every way, he was addicted to him, even with Chanyeol inside him it wasn't enough. He reached up and pulled Chanyeol closer and the large body collapsed exhausted on top of him.

"You're squishing me!" Baekhyun gasped dramatically as he began to giggle. "Well you shouldn't be so squishy!" Chanyeol laughed back and drew the smiling man under him into a deep and slow burning kiss that seemed to last forever.

The next morning they slept in until almost lunchtime.

When Baekhyun woke he rolled over to huge brown eyes staring at him. "I miss them." He said quietly and blushed with embarrassment. "Me too." Chanyeol admitted. Baekhyun giggled and rolled his bare body on top of Chanyeol's and smiled down at him. "Let's shower together and then have late breakfast on the balcony!" Chanyeol was entranced by Baekhyun's excitement and mentally thanked Baekhyun's parents for this precious gift of time and privacy.

Sunday afternoon the SUV was once again headed down the dusty road. As it pulled up in front of the huge old farmhouse two little boys and two little dogs spilled out of the door with Baekhyun's Mum right behind them.

"Daddy! Baek!" Jaehyun ran towards them at full speed and ran straight past his dad and into the open arms of Baekhyun. "I missed you!" Baekhyun's joy was barely contained as he lifted the little boy high into the air. "Hi Daddy!" Taeyong said as he pulled Baekhyun's Mum along by the hand. "Granny let me bake cookies! Almost all by myself!" His hand dropped from the grasp of the older woman smiling gently at the little boy and slipped into the large one held out towards him. "You save me one?" Chanyeol said and Taeyong blushed. "Sorry Daddy. We are them all while we watched movies with the cousins."

As they drove home, a happy family of four, the car was filled with stories of fishing in the lake, learning how to cut the lettuces at harvest, feeding the ducks and baking cookies. Baekhyun's Dad had found a few old and tiny bikes in one of the sheds and the boys had learned from the older kids how to ride. The image of the twins, wild and free with the wind in their hair as they tore down the same long dirt road Baekhyun travelled, hit Baekhyun right in the heart. It was the last piece. He finally knew what it truly felt like to be a parent. To love them unconditionally, to fight every day for their happiness and wellbeing, the joy and pride in watching them thrive and grow and learn and achieve. The purest joy in his boys following his path but in their own way. Making it their own.

As their stories became quieter and more far between the drive slowly became a a journey of serenity and peace. Taeyong dropped off to sleep first and Jaehyun was just starting to nod when he sat up and asked a question. "Daddy what did you and Baek do while we were at the farm?" Chanyeol laughed to himself. "We just had a rest. We slept in and went to the movies. Just adult stuff." Jaehyun yawned and leaned his little head against the side of his car seat. "Sounds boring. Next time you should stay at the farm instead. It's so much fun." Two minutes later he was asleep.

When they arrived home Chanyeol parked the car and unlocked the front door. He went back to the car and gently gathered Taeyong into his arms. Baekhyun followed him in with Jaehyun bundled up and they managed to tuck both boys into their beds without them waking.

As they quietly slipped out of the room and down the hall to their own neither spoke. Neither needed to. There was a perfection in their silence. Their love was expressed with words unsaid. It was their actions that spoke the loudest, the carrying of a sleeping child, the folding of someone's washing, the little things that meant so much. And it was these little things all put together that made the big picture of their life together. The puzzle pieces that fit together and made up the happiness that filled their life.  


 

 


	3. bonus 2

 

  
  
Balloons filled the room as much as the thunderous feet of around a dozen 9 year old boys. "Slow down!" Chanyeol yelled as a soccer ball bounced off the wall and the little group exploded out into the backyard. It was cold but the first snows hadn't fallen yet.

Chanyeol watched the boys tear around the backyard before going into the kitchen to check on the food. He sneaked up behind Baekhyun and wrapped his arms around his waist stopping the other man from getting to the oven. "Yeol, the cookies are going to burn, let me go." Baekhyun's protest was half hearted though and he turned in his arms and retuned the hug. Chanyeol nuzzled into Baekhyun neck until a noise startled him out of the moment. "Ahem. Save it for later please." Her tone was pointed but she winked at Chanyeol's pink flush. Three years and his mother in law still loved to tease him.

Chanyeol found the piñata and filled it and hung it from the big tree in the backyard. The screams of the boys as they whacked at the piñata would be heard all the way down the block. Jaehyun, benefiting from a sudden growth spurt, had few inches and kilos on his twin and smashed open the paper mache donkey on his first go. He was proudly singing his own praises to the cheers of the others as he swung the baseball bat over his shoulder. Baekhyun carried the huge tray of cupcakes and was almost knocked over by a tiny but wild Taeyong storming inside.

Baekhyun put the tray down outside on the long table and just jumped out the way as the boys began to push for the cakes. He turned and followed Taeyong all the way into the house and up the stairs into the big bedroom they shared at the end of the hall.

"What's the matter?" He said softly as he found Taeyong on his bed. "It's not fair! He thinks he's so good just because he's taller and bigger than me now!" Baekhyun stroked the little boy's hair as he sniffed into the pillow. "Come on. Don't be sad." Baekhyun tried to cheer him up. "It's your party. You'll miss all the fun if you stay up here." Taeyong just sniffed harder as he sat up and wiped his eyes. "They're all his friends anyway." Baekhyun pulled the boy into a hug. "No they're not. They're your friends too. They like you just as much as they like Jae."

"Do you really think so?" Taeyong wiped his eyes and tried to smile. "Yep." Baekhyun smiled back and Taeyong's became a little brighter. "Anyway. Just because he's bigger doesn't mean he's better. Or that he can boss you around. Who's bigger? Me or your Dad?" Taeyong laughed. "Dad." "And do you see him bossing me around?" Taeyong laughed again. "No. You always boss him." Baekhyun's point was made.

They headed down the stairs when Taeyong grabbed Baekhyun's hand. "Baek. I think I want my own room." Baekhyun nodded at the boy. They were growing up. He knew it was coming but it seemed to be coming sooner than he wanted. The boys were ready to start growing up. "I'll talk to your Dad. I'm sure he'll say yes."

As they returned to the party the boys called out to Taeyong. "Tae! Come eat! We saved you a seat over here!" And Taeyong rejoined the crowd of noisy little people as Chanyeol carried out a huge chocolate cake with 18 candles. 9 on one side and 9 on the other. The twins leaned in and blew them out and Chanyeol smiled down at Baekhyun as they watched the boys laugh.

Three hours later the guests had left and Baekhyun's Mum was busy washing dishes. Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol aside as the boys amused themselves with their new Xbox. "The gift was a great idea Baek." Chanyeol murmured into the soft skin of his lover's neck. "You know them better than I do." Baekhyun stifled a giggle as Chanyeol's teeth grazed his neck. "The more time they spend on that the more time he have for this." Baekhyun slid his hands under Chanyeol's tshirt and traced his fingers lightly over the smooth hard muscle underneath. Chanyeol wrapped his arms around the shorter man and squeezed him tight, making him giggle loudly, his head tipped back as his eyes sparkled. After more than three years they hadn't lost even a little of their spark. Baekhyun could make Chanyeol weak with one look and Baekhyun was still crazy for the tall man squeezing the breath out of him.

Chanyeol took Baekhyun's lips captive in a slow deep kiss. They shut out the world around them as they melted into each other, their touch gentle and loving, their bodies pressed closely together. Baekhyun whined softly as Chanyeol broke the kiss. "Save it for later. When they go to bed." He said with a wink and Baekhyun flushed pink.

"That reminds me. Taeyong wants to move into his own room." Baekhyun said as they headed back to the kitchen. "Really?" Chanyeol was surprised. "Yeah. They're growing up." Baekhyun smiled softly as they began to help with the party clean up.

That night, darkness and silence surrounding them, their bodies were locked in heated pleasure. Chanyeol's forehead was slick with sweat as he thrust hard into Baekhyun's body. "You're so fucking hot." He gasped for oxygen as his body kept a steady rhythm and his mouth sucked at the soft skin of Baekhyun's neck. "Fuck. Harder, Yeol, fuck me harder." Baekhyun groaned as he began to move his hips to meet Chanyeol's thrusts. It didn't matter how many times they did it, Baekhyun and Chanyeol together were magic, the passion and the beauty never waned.

Baekhyun came onto his stomach as his whole body shook. He looked up into the eyes of his love, his whole world, his soulmate. And as Chanyeol groaned low and deep and came inside him he felt complete. Almost complete.

"The boys are growing up too quick." Baekhyun said softly as his eyes glowed in the dim room. They were alight with the fire of gentle passion as he stared at the face of his lover. "You want another one?" Chanyeol asked impulsively and Baekhyun blushed. "Maybe." He said as he curled into a ball and pressed his back into Chanyeol's chest. "I'm young. I've got plenty of time and energy for a baby." Baekhyun turned towards Chanyeol and stifled a giggle. "You, on the other hand, might be getting a bit too old for something like that...." His voice trailed off as Chanyeol swiftly captured his lips and rolled on top of the smaller man. "I might be old but you make me feel young baby." Chanyeol moved his mouth down Baekhyun's neck and felt himself getting hard again. He meant every loving word he whispered in Baekhyun's ear. He had never felt younger. And if Baekhyun wanted a baby then Chanyeol would give him one. He would give him anything. He'd give him the world if he asked for it.  
  
  
  


_Nine months later...._   
  
  
  


Baekhyun had been almost hysterical on the flight. He had never been on a plane before, or to Thailand, or even out of the country and his face was lit from within like a child in Christmas Eve. He chattered and pointed and laughed and glowed. "Are you sure about this Baek?" Chanyeol asked as they settled into their hotel room deep in the heart of Bangkok. "You love your job at the kindergarten and you have to give it up." Baekhyun's face fell at Chanyeol's words. "I know. But I'm sure. I want this baby. Don't you?" Chanyeol quickly drew the small man against his chest. "I do too." He breathed as he inhaled the fresh sweet scent of Baekhyun's hair.

Three hours later they lugged the baby capsule into the foyer of the orphanage. As soon as he saw him Baekhyun was smitten. He was the cutest little thing, five months old and tiny as a little bean, with a mop of thick black hair.

"His name is Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul." The smiling lady said as she handed him over. Baekhyun laughed through his tears. "I'll never be able to remember that!" A soft smile played across Chanyeol's face as he watched Baekhyun fall totally in love with the little black haired baby he held in his arms. Baekhyun was a wonderful parent, he had such a natural instinct for loving and nurturing, and Chanyeol sometimes forgot that he had missed the baby years with the twins. How could he ever deny him the joy of nursing his own baby in his arms?

They sat in the office to sign the papers and gave the baby his new name. "His name is Ten." Baekhyun said decisively. Chanyeol instantaneously let him have his way without question. "The boys are going to love him." As their signatures wound across the papers consigning the baby to their family forever Chanyeol squeezed Baekhyun's hand tight. He loved nothing more than to make Baekhyun happy and he had never seen him happier.

Chanyeol carried the empty baby capsule as Baekhyun snuggled the baby in his arms. As they walked out of the building and into the heavy heat of the midmorning sun Chanyeol heard Baekhyun whisper softly to the child happily sleeping in his arms. "Let's go home." His words were so loving and sincere they brought tears to Chanyeol's eyes. "Let's go home." He agreed quietly. He couldn't wait to get his family home.  
  


 

**_If you want to read the alternative ending (the trash i really wanted to write) go and find it in my smut book_ **

**_SABLE MOON_ **

**_the chapter is called:_ **

**_convergence crack • baekhyun x chanyeol / mpreg smut_ **

**_available on WATTPAD only - user @abnegative_ **

**_Love_ **

**_abnegative_ **


End file.
